To The Love (or) To The Pain

One of the most momentous things a person ever does is admit to another person that he or she loves the person. But here's the thing; the person usually doesn't know what the heck they're talking about. They know how the feeling of infatuation works, but they don't know squat about love.

In the famous novel The Princess Bride, a key character is obsessed with pain. He believes that it is the focal point of life. And I think there's something to that viewpoint. Although, in a slightly different manner than the Count suggested.

Love is about pain. Love is not about giving gifts and writting sappy poetry and such. It's about pain. About taking the pain that's going to hit your lover. You take off your coat in cold weather, simply so she can have another layer on. You freeze completely, but she stays nice and warm. There's some pain there, especially as your extremeities thaw. Love is also about holding her hands to warm them up. Love is intercepting all the vitriol that others may spit, and hiding it all. Love is taking not one, not two, not three or four or five bullets, but all the bullets that could ever made in the world. Love is about being a human shield for every kind of pain that you block from your lover. Love is all about pain.

Think about it. The greatest expressions of love are not things such as Valentine's Day activities, or jewelry. The greatest expressions of love all have to do with pain. Not meaninglessly hurting yourself; that doesn't show loving suffering, only foolishness and lack of self respect. No, love is about being a sponge, and soaking up all the pain you can from your lover's life. You probably cannot take it all away; but you can try. If you want to show someone you love them and care about them, share yourself. Share their pain, and if you can, take it away from them. Be a comfort, a sense of security. Be willing to stand a lonely guard, and stay on watch for bumps and puddles in the road. Smooth the bumps down with your hands, and lie down in the puddles to soak them up. Be a bridge over every ravine you can stretch across. This is what you must do if you want to show true love. Warm her hands, do every kindness you can think of. Suffer for your love, not meaninglessly, but with strength and purpose. This is a greater, more tender symbol of love than even the most beautiful ring, or the most elaborate evening out. Nothing can compare to placing yourself in the path of the flames, and protecting your love from the heat and fire. While these poetic metaphors may be hard to understand, I am trying my best to say something simple. If you strive to the true love, you strive to the true, good pain.

A Little Bit Darker Now...(But It's Probably Just The Music)

You're the only heart I haven't broken on this side of town
And my life is just the same old story; sucking all around
I'm pretty bad with touchy feely, but with words, I'm so much worse
Your boyfriend drove to the prom in a limo
I carried you away in a hearse

One night to live down the rumors
One chance to cancel all the secrets
One night to prove I am who I am to everyone who cares
All I can do is fix my mental image of myself
And the world won't bend; it breaks
And it doesn't stay away; it flies with me

Sleep, dream, wake, weep
We go about our days with broken faces
And we'll never know the color of the sky
Or the colors inherent in an apple, a tree, a goodbye
If you cry for me, because I'm a fool
I'll pray for you, because I'll always be a fool
Thinking that I think, believing I believe
I pull life tight, but it always snaps back to sting me

On Valentine's Day And Some Other Things

Well, this year's V-Day has come and gone. And yet again, it's left a strange aftertaste in it's wake. Like eating chocolate right after brushing your teeth. For some people, Valentine's Day is about chocolate. Having it given to you, and eating it. For those people, V-Day is great. For others, V-Day is about arguing with your lover over what to wear and if you'll make the reservation, and who's fault it will be if you don't, and etc. For some lucky couples, it's about a perfect day together. And for many people, it's about being alone. The whole mystique that has sprung up around it makes it something it's not. Valentine's Day is not the day when every one's romances go right. Or even go. For many, it just shows them what they don't have. They don't have someone who will take off their coat in frigid air and let them wear it. They don't have someone who will pay for lunch without being asked. They don't have someone to sit next to, someone who will warm their hands underneath the table. A person who will do all the driving, a person who cares enough to pick each flower individually. Someone who is willing to slow dance to whatever music his or her love likes, be it classical, rap, punk, alternative, pop or anything else. They don't have someone. However, Valentine's Day need not be miserable. You can go eat lunch with a friend, to celebrate being "single and loving it". Those can lead pretty quickly to something no one was expecting. <;) But really, Valentine's Day isn't what most people think it is. It isn't about being a lovestruck fool for a day. Or a lonely possible-lover forever. It's about becoming a lovestruck fool. It's about changing your mood, and making every day sunny. It's about becoming a lovestruck fool, and simply maintaining it if you already are one. It's not about the chocolate, or the fancy dinners, or making out with your girlfriend. It's about the love. The LOVE. The L-O-V-E! It's about falling in love all over again, and doing it every moment of every day. It's about making it past the commercialization, and just feeling the... Well, you know what it's about. <;)

Blue-Blood Blues

A quiet room, a quiet time
Soft music playing, drinks all around and couples on the floor
When you came up and sat next to me
The quiet words you spoke seemed to fit right in
Then I listened as you said them a second time
And they hit me like a rock-filled slipper

Smooth, and maybe sensual
But oh so very comfortable
Still, it packs a punch
And you didn't pull it when it came to me
I wasn't wounded; it was too nice an evening for that
I was more just a little hurt

When I woke up home alone, by myself
With a headache and no one beside me
I comprehended what you had said
"You used to be a good rich boy
But now you've went and gone to your head"

I can ask you to come back to me
But that'd just be asking you to leave again
The muffled music playing downstairs reminds me
I'm a bachelor, I'm well off
There are other fish in the sea
I'll catch one that'll look good swimming in the tank next to me
But still...
The way your hair fell in the light
And the way you did nothing, but made everything feel right

When you have as much as I do
Sometimes it's hard to tell what you've lost
Or what you ever had
You showed me Autumn
You showed me Summer and Spring
You took me away and kissed me with cold Winter
Girl, until you take up lying again
You don't realize how much you can miss the truth

I miss you, and that's finally the truth...

Changing Seasons And Changing Looks

I'm the most successful failure
That parents ever took their children to see
What would I do
If I saw myself on video, waking up next to you?
We all try to make it through
With hearts, mind and morals intact
But breaking is so much fun (we're attracted to the dark)
Don't say there isn't a tempter
He lives inside us all
Like a virus, invading and changing
Whenever he gets a chance

Don't cry
Never cry for your best ex-friend
Wow, that's one heck of a sunset
Dancing through the city of sin....
You + me = turning it all upside down
And my heart is laughing at the notion of breaking apart
And my mind is already sewing itself back together
Guilt is a funny thing
It tastes so bad, but it's so good
I'm dedicating this poem to each and every one of us people
Trying to do the right thing
But it only gets harder from here on out
'Cause I'd be lying if I told you we've left the dark behind
It waits in the gutters and ditches
Of this straight and narrow road

The only thing I have done is being what I shouldn't
All hearts beat for pumping God's blood
All minds speak for the love of light
And all us sinners let the good/bad times roll
Because sometimes the bad feels like good
And vice versa
You & me & the rest of them all
Let's make some memories, short term or not
Forgetting is what we hate, like it or not....

Still Living, Not Dying

Dusty breeze whips my face
Knocks me over, gets me out of place
The sun is cold but the air is hot
Can't it all go away? the future is bleak
For an old worn out man
A former musician, now a freak
With glory days and golden youth
All passed by, without even staying behind
To love one more time. just gone like that
The wind picks up, takes off with my hat

A joke. that's all I am
Running willy nilly
Chasing after dust memories
Record labels, rock 'n' roll
All gone from me now
I can't even make it a little bit
Even though I try 'n' try 'n' try
Visions and dreams of yesterday's hopes
Is all I can accomplish

Is there any hope for me?
A trodden on bit of glory
That I could scrounge up somehow?
The mist rolling in from the sea
Blends with the dust in the air
Dirty's the pavement
And clings to my hair
I can't retire from life
I still have a lot left in me
But making it after falling down seems too hard
Who do they think they are?
I'm just like them, only better

I'd Pay For A Movie Star Who Knows What The Word Bibliophile Means (Poor Kids Play Kick The Car)

Find a safe place
Shiver when the earth shakes
I'll tell your family you'll never return
I'm fairly sure you'll be missed

You've doused yourself in our mood
Dyed red, always untrue
This life is the cure to growing older
Because you'll just live as a curio in a tourist-shop
Window

Practice your lines
And try to stop your voice cracking
With the emotion you have no right to feel
A poet broke his heart and his pen writing those words
He felt so tragic....
And you, you highly paid actor
You've been brought in to make them live

You vampire
I put all my life into those lines
And with your rendition
You suck out the life, and lock them in a casket
I know I'm crazy, I broke everything I had
With that masterpiece. You give it your own flavor
The taste of failure

Hide while the earth is shaking
Hide from your gaping coffin
With our friends, angels and ancestors
We want to bury you so badly
How can we make you comprehend?
You turned this poor boy's life
Into a second-rate B-movie

Living this life, you just know sooner or later
You'll catch it (and isn't that tragic)

Write Me Off, Because All I Have Is A Headache And Absence Of Writer's Block

I have a crazy headache
Left over from when I woke up next to you
(Did I really wake up next to you?!?)
Maybe I woke up an hour too soon
I can't stand being alone
And thinking no one else knows I exist
But back to the headache
Headache, hot shakes, and a honeymoon
And I swear, to keep you safe...

Nothing is as it seems
Just shadows in my dreams
Except for headaches, those are real
Besides hugs and kisses, those are all I feel
Lemme hear another melodic sigh
Perhaps maybe you could give me a tuneful cry
It's not right to get so much pleasure out of disaster
But I never wanted you to change for me
And I ask you to return the favor
(But every time the day changes into night
I can still recall that flavor...)

These lights, in houses, apartments, bedrooms...
The effect they have on me...
Excuse me, I have to catch my tears as they fall
And hide them where no one can see
Because I'm prideful, and weak
Sometimes a poet, always a freak
Actually, that's a lie
I don't think of myself as a freak
Just someone trying his best to ignore who
The world suggests he is

Looking out my bedroom window
All alone, except for my headache
And a shade of you on my wall
Angels cry in the reflection of my eyes
In the medium of the mirror
Why do you all stay away from me?
Why are there lights on outside
But none turned on inside of me
Pencil scratches on paper, late into the night
Because the lights of the city are too much
For my headache and me...

Dust

Try to get a feel for the rhythm
Of living life on your own
My arms are so full of nothing
There's nothing I can possibly hold

Everyone lives until they die
Everyone can laugh, or they can cry
Well, tears can be nice
But I'll cast my vote with laughter
Because I'm too busy to go chasing after
All the things I can't have

How stupid could I be
To make you the only one I see
The world is full of everything imaginable
Or at least it should be
While I believe my fantasies
Everything else is just dust and fairies

(Chasing after dust and fairies....)

From The Storm

I can hear the groans of the Earth
Feel the wind and water on my face
The wet grass grabbing my bare feet
The sky is turning grey with clouds
And I can feel my wanting
Like I've never felt it before
I begin to walk down the hill
Watch the city grow nearer
It seeks wilderness to kill
Everything I'm wanting of
Feels like I've never needed it before
The sour wind blows gusts into my face
Pushes me back up the hill
I have nowhere to retreat to
When the world is all around
and only the wind is at my back

I can feel tears wrenching their way away
Walking along the roof of the world
The rain freezes on the trees; the grass; my skin
My hair, my clothes. Something
Tells me loudly, that this was a mistake
Mother Nature is someone else's mother
And she is wounded and angry
And we will bear the brunt of her anger

The wind loses me in the trees
But they trip me up, bloody my knees
I find my way out, back to the city
And make my way back to my home
The storm makes her way to the tall buildings and low houses
This night shall be a long one, looking at the green sky...

Dream Girl

She's a dream girl
My dream girl
But only in my dreams
She visits me each night
(but only in my dreams)
Last night she spoke to me

And we talked and talked and talked

But it was all a dream

How can a dream have so much meaning?
How can a dream have this effect?
Why can I still feel her touch
Upon my arm? her hot breath upon my neck?
How can dreams mean so much?
Can dreams pull you in and never let go?
I look out my window, and watch the falling snow
And reflected in the cold window panes
Is the memory of her touch on one shoulder
And the weight of her head on the other
How can a dream affect me so deeply?
How can a dream have this effect?
(I know that's it's nothing but a dream
And yet.....and yet....I can't stop dreaming
Not now, not yet
Not until I've drank my fill
Of that otherworldly love, and I will)

Poet Musing

It's all just a stranger passing in the night
It's all just something grey, not black or white
People love and people live
People hate their luck
When they're told it's their life they'll have to give
Hopefully, the years will bless me
And I'll make it through it all
Living like life is the only way to be
Or free
Can't we just let go of what we hold onto?

And be free

Why do you cry every night?
Why are you not happy?
I'd give up a life that'd bring me joy
If only, if only
You said it'd please you
Happiness is a loaded gun
Hot and heavy in your hand
And knowing that there's no one
In all the world, in all the land
That can make you pull the trigger

I'll not pull this trigger

The Goodbyes Can't Come Late Enough

Every summer we make a wish
And every night we try to sleep
But it's so hard to do when you know no one's thinking of you
And trying is so hard when your heart's come through a car crash
And you can't tell if it's still beating

By far you're the greatest story
That I've ever read
And I'd like you to proof read my life
Edit it all, and take all my problems away....

The only thing that I think of regularly
Is you
Every hour, my lady I swear, I think of you
Not sleeping at night is a horrible thing
But when you invade my dreams before I begin sleeping...

Let's go, let's try, let's flip the world upsidedown
We can be the cover story for the next hundred years
With both of us together, no wall can stand
All I want (for now) is to hold your hand

Keep trying, keep trying to sleep
Dream of me while I'm thinking of you
Long live the people like us
Who think simply for the feeling
And think that all there is besides us
Is the rest of the world

Yet Another Sentimental Poem...

I'd cry to move you
But I'd be a fake
I'd sing your praises
But with my voice, that'd be a mistake
I'd choke on the words I want to say
It's just too bad "love" affects me this way

I hear music from another room
Piano dropping tears of ice
A woman singing, softly softly
And she begins to sob
Crying out the words
I so want to say
Pleading with the sound
Why must we always fear?
She awaits someone to come and save her
Just as I await someone to come for me

Cry, sweet child, cry
And I'll cry with you
We can cry together as we walk through the woods
Water the flowers as we walk
Visit a sunny graveyard where little birds sing
Cry as we work
Burying our fears
Cry for the long, wasted years
Cry for ourselves, for our tears
Smile and sob, laugh and choke
Holding each other tight as our world goes up in smoke

Everyone Understands (They Just Understand The Wrong Things) When We Say "I Love You"

I don't know what to say
And I don't know what to do
Dreaming through mist
And it's all blue
I need you
I love you
I need you
'Cause I'm scared
It's a dark angry world out there
And love is a flame, a match lit in the dark
I want you
Desire you
I want to talk to you, late into the night
I want to cry when you cry, make it all right
But are you real?
Am I real?
How can I reconcile my feelings
With what I should be
I'd love you, I'd keep you
In a golden cage, I'd let you free
Every time you asked
I smile when I see your face
Thoughts of you, are what erase my nights
Love is dark
Brooding like a storm
And I want to find my own world
And take you in it, take you inside me
I'll say I.L.Y.
If not, I may die
That's a lie
You can live without love
It just isn't anything you'd wish on anyone
Even the devil
I hope I don't choke
When I call you on the phone
I hope I don't sob
When I see you in that dress
I hope I don't break
I hope the bottom of our boat doesn't fall out
And we both drown in the lake
(I keep thinking of you, keep keeping you inside of me)

I Wrote This With Truth In My Mind And You In My Heart

Let me talk to someone wise
Because this torrent of experiences called "life"
Isn't making any sense
And I can't get out of this
'Cause I don't know if it even counts as a mess
I'll try a littler harder
To win the game of life and her heart
Everyone gather round
And listen close to what I have to say
I'm not perfect
Far from it, actually
Sometimes when the lights are out
And I'm lying in bed
All my body feels like is a twisted knot of faults
And my mind can feel the same way, too
Please pay attention, cause this is hard to say
I love you, and I feel this way
Like life is so long
And the road is so far
I'm not sure where I am; I just plot it by where you are
I'm gonna take my best shot
And pray to God I come close
Because of all the lies and all the stories
All the songs and all the loves
You're the one I like the best

The Man And The Genie

Once there was a man traveling through the desert. He had been traveling for many days and many nights, without meeting any other travelers. One day, as he was traveling, he discovered that he was running out of water. He began looking for a well, but he could not find one. Being thirsty and tired from the heat, he decided to rest in a cave that was situated halfway up a rock formation near the road. He scrambled up the rock, leaving his camel outside.

Within the cave it was cool, with a strange scent that the man seemed to remember. Suddenly, he spotted a bowl with incense burning in it. He cautiously looked about, and called out, "Hello? Is there anyone here?" It was a small cave, and he could see that no one was in it. The smell of incense began to grow stronger, and he noticed the incense swirling around in the bowl. As he was watching it, a man appeared before him. There was no flash of light, nor was the appearance dramatic. The man was simply there.

"Who- who are you, sir? I am merely a tired traveler, looking for a place to rest. I saw the cave, and not realizing it was yours, came inside it. I hope I did not intrude upon you." The man stood regarding the traveler, and then replied, "I am a genii. I will give you gifts, if you give me something in return." The man realized that the man must be one of the genies of legend, and that to refuse would be losing a great opportunity. "Sir, I will take one of your gifts, if I can give you something worth it in return."

The genii looked at him with a blank look, and then asked him, "I see you have a woman you desire. Her skin is dark, and her hair is curly. She has dusky eyes, and does not wish to marry you. Neither does her father wish marriage between you two. Would you like them to become accustomed to the idea, even wanting it?" "Sir, can you- can you give love? True love?" The genii replied, "I can." "Then do it, please do it sir!" the man cried. "I will require a price; your finger." "What? My finger? What do you mean?" the man implored. "Lay your hand upon that stone. Then extend your fingers to their fullest extent, and I will cut off your left little finger with this knife." "My- my finger? This is your price? My little finger for my love?" "Yes." The traveler looked at his hand, focused on his finger. He moved it, bending and unbending. Watching it move smoothly, its excellent engineering. He looked at it a moment longer, then replied, "Yes. For love, this is nothing."

The genii led the man over to a rock, and told him to lay his hand upon it. The man placed his hand on the cool stone, felt it smooth underneath his fingers. He trembled, and tried to stop his hand from shaking. Then the genii, with a swift cut, chopped of the man's finger. The man clutched at his hand in pain, and held it moaning. The genii gave him herbs to stop the bleeding, and then the man looked at his hand. He watched the glistening stump of his finger, absorbing the new absence. Then the genii spoke. "Would you give another finger for your love's health? Her long life, free from sickness?" The man thought, pondered. Then he said, "What is pain for me, if I'm doing it for her? I will do it. A man can be successful without two fingers." The ceremony was repeated, then the genii spoke. "A drought will take the life of all those in your village. Another finger, and the wells shall not go dry." The man thought. Was he, who had already sacrificed two of his fingers, to give a third for his village? He decided yes, he shall. For who could turn down the chance to save his home at such a comparatively small cost? "Yes. I shall save the village from drought."

Again and again, the genii offered the man chances to forestall various disasters, until the health of the village was assured for hundreds of years to come. The man was curling up in pain, now only having the fingers of his right hand left. The genies price had started to take on a greater significance. One finger for each disaster, and two toes for the same. When then man had quieted down, the genii spoke again. "Your family will be large. You shall have handsome, strong sons, prides of the father. Beautiful daughters, prides of the mother. And when you are not yet an old man, an enemy militia shall come and kill you all. You shall watch your children and wife die, and then your life shall be taken. I can ensure that the militia will bypass your town....But it will cost all of the fingers on your right hand." The man, confused with pain, considered this. "Genii, what choice do you give me? Death for me and my family, or being almost a cripple!" the man cried "How can I make this choice?" The genii replied, "How can you not make this choice?"

The man considered it, then made his decision. His hand trembled, violently shaking as he laid his hand on the stone, now slick with blood. Though the day was hot, the man felt chilled and cold. When the cuts came, five quickly in a row, the man yelled aloud. His pain was audible, but the genii looked on impassively. After the man was sitting, crouched against the side of the cave, the genii said, "Your sacrifices are impressive. But so far they have been only for your village and family. What would you do for everyone? All people under Heaven's dome? Would you guarantee that someday, all diseases will be vanquished? No one shall ever be sick again? No mother shall have to watch her child sicken and die in front of her own eyes. No more death due to sicknesses. Would you do that for all people of the world, people you shall never meet, nor know?" The man sat silent, then replied, "What is your price?" "Your left eye." the genii replied. "How can you ask me this? I've already given up so much, and now you ask even more of me? How can you do this?" the man asked. The genii watched him, waiting for a reply. Finally, after sitting in silence for many minutes, the man said, "I shall give up my eye. I should take this chance, for it may be one that no one else will have." "Then, I shall remove your eye," the genii replied.

By now, with all of his fingers and toes removed, and now one of his eyes, the man could barely keep from writhing in pain. When the genii opened his mouth again, the man swiftly interrupted the genii. "Genii, I cannot take anymore. I have gone through so much pain, that I should be dead. I am maimed. When, and if, I make it back to my village, my love will love a cripple. Do not ask anymore of me. You have done good things, but I cannot take the price anymore." "But what would you give," the genii asked, "to eventually end all wars and conflict? No more fighting among any tribes, no more fighting among nations and creeds." "That would be a good thing, genii," the man replied, "But I will not agree. I cannot give in to this offer. I can only imagine your price. My leg? My arm?" "Your other eye," the genii said. "Your other eye, and all wars shall someday end." The man began to weep. "This- this makes no sense! All these horrors of our world, and it my chance to stop them! But, I cannot! All of this worldly suffering can be stopped through my own! But, I cannot! This- this is not right, that I should be asked this..." "What is your choice then," the genii said, "Keep your sight and leave the world full of war? Or lose your eye, and bring peace?"

The man gave his answer.

He lay on the floor of the cave, slumping in pain. Panting, panting, hoping the pain would end. The genii began to speak, when the man cried, "Foul genii! Do not speak anymore! I do not wish to hear your voice! It grates on my ears, offering offers I cannot ignore, but which will only cause me pain! Nothing more, I implore you! Be silent! Leave me be!" Then the genii leaned in close to the man, and whispered, "I can do this. Give me your memory, erase your past, and art shall grow in the world. No more madness, except for the glorious kind which is felt by the poets as they weave their tales. Would you give this to the world, in exchange for your past?" "YES!" the man cried, "Yes! Do this, damned genii, and erase my past! Make me forget everything, so the pain shall be erased also!" The genii waved his hand, and the man could suddenly not remember anything. Except the pain. Waves of pain would come, and be forgotten as they appeared. The man could not help screaming. He was in agony, left experiencing nothing but pain.

Then the genii said in a loud voice to him, "You have done much. And as a reward for your services, I will give your back your fingers and toes. They shall be there, stiff and painful, but you shall have them. I will give you back your sight, though it shall be blurry and like that of an old man's. I will give you back your past, but leave you with headaches. All this I will do, to honor your sacrifice for the good of the world, and people you shall never meet." "Thank you, genii," the man said. He then blacked out. When he awoke, he was in the arms of the women he loved.

Another "Lovey" Poem, Cause That's What Poetry's All About

You claim to enjoy being "just friends"
So I try to think of something funny to say
You claim to be my friend
But you're not, 'cause you'd have to be that much more or less
To be hurting me this way
You claim to like playing this game
You play for fun, while I play to win (your heart)
Best friends, and miles apart
Angst is real, and so is the rain
And wind, snow, love and other things I can't explain

Let's try this one more time
I'll say will you? you say I do.
We'll go down in history, 'cause it'll be true
But I'm just looking at this scene through cracked glasses
Broken lenses, a rainy day
It must be the cold church, the raindrops on the windows
And the graveyard outside that makes me feel this way
I pray to God for a storm
I pray for losing myself in thunder and lightning
I pray for summer, I pray for love
I wonder where you go when you dream, my love
Arrogance never healed broken hearts
But it's the easy way out

If I don't hear some rock n'roll
I think I might go crazy
Real music is acoustic, electricity is just lazy
But guitars come in to save me
And being in a bad place just means that a better one is up ahead
I think this could work
I could make you happy
Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the only one
Just so you know, you're the song I know best
And thinking of you makes me forget the rest

For We Know…

The world spins with dirty fervor
And humans writhe in the mud
Blood is spilled, and wrath is poured
Sons hold guns up to the heads of their fathers
Daughters cry aloud with angry voices
Opposing their mothers, and the world that brought them up
Humanity spins with dirty lust
Abusing God's holy trust
The poets sob in quiet words
And whisper to themselves; how have we sunk so low?
While the rest of the people shout in loud exclamations
"We're the best, we'll kill the rest"
Always coming to blows

Ask us, the quiet children
Ask us, the ones who know
We hide in the corners, in the hallways and closets
We stay out of the spotlight, afraid to say
What we know; that the world spins on
And men sink low
Ask us, we'll tell, for we know, we know

You Make The Moves, I'll Aim The Spotlight

This is my written confession
And I can't get enough of you
But to continue; I'm always thinking of you
Day and night, sleeping or awake
I dedicate this chapter of my life to your memory
And hope you'll read it all
(In between the lines)
And outside them too

I writing my written confession,
But I need to get a little loose
Capitalization just limits my expression
And for the next stanza I'm borrowing e. e.'s punctuation

i; love; you
it's a summertime love, luv
and i cant get enough of you; i cant get enough of you:
i must have you
i must let you go
maybe it's just a fleeting-love
or just lust/infatuation
but i doubt it
when i see your face, hear your voice
and read your words
i get a second chance, straight from God
and ive been getting these 2nd chances
for a while now[you bring me back
to where i feel like i belong]
come on my pretty, powerful lady
let us dance, let us sing, let us act like buffoons
ive waited oh so long to be free from pain
and youre my paradise of novocain

It's good to get out
From under the rock of custom
But patterns are like a love affair
You can't let them go,
when the sunlight plays on her long smooth hair
And she tells you the way to go, and where
{I'm writing my written confession…}

Don't Forget, Or I Might Not Stop It

Maybe we'll all go down in history
And maybe we'll be the heroes that time forgot
And maybe this is all a lie
But don't blame me, this is who I am
And after all, however much a lie it is, you have to admit it looks nice
And after all, however big a liar you are
I can't help but admit you look nice

But if I am a lie
Maybe it isn't a good one
But I'm gonna say me again
And tell you me until you accept it all
Swallow me hook, line and sinker

But perhaps I can tell you
Maybe you're close enough
"I'm-"
I dunno, maybe you're not close enough
I can take you away
We can get in my car and drive away
And never see our families, this town or world again

I keep on trying
And somehow lying
I keep on trying
But I keep on falling behind
Some people say poetry is just a waste of words
Maybe they're right
And others say that seeing is just a waste of sight
And the pessimists can't always be right?
But I'm not looking forward to another lonely night
(The cold gets in through corners and cracks
Scalds poor boys with breaking backs)

So You Know, I'm The Best, Right?

If the world just got a little edgy
Maybe a little more hardcore
I can explain it; the guy over there just turned his amp up
And everybody's hitting the floor
We can try to stay out of the motion
Or jump right in, and which is the better choice?
Personally, I'm in favor of going home
But not alone, if you know what I mean (no, never alone)

Three days later and I keep kicking myself
'Cause I've forgotten how to be a friend
How to watch out for your best interests
But how was I to figure it out
I've made myself cut out for this speaker-pounding life
Give me three days and your heart
I'll make it all up to you
You can only scream into a microphone and shred on a guitar for a little while
Before the tears fall from your eyes for the life you're destorying
You say I'm a good listener
And I'm sure I could be if I took these headphones off

But we keep on trying, and we keep on dying
Widows and orphans keep on crying
But rock is just a synonym for breathing
And everyone deserves something
And I think I deserve you
Which is a shame 'cause you deserve everything but me
The best music always makes you feel worst
And yelling out the truth, you can't tell who it'll hurt
But everyone, every one person on their own
Deserves what they got coming to them
And I can't keep going crazy, cause the days just keep on flowing
I'm sure someday I'll confess it all, and I hope you'll be able to take the knowing

The Best Mistakes Are Only Fakes

It was never about being the best
It was just about laughing at myself and my mistakes
The goof-ups and outtakes
All the coincidences and lucky breaks
But they all joined in and turned the laughter sour
And I'm still making mistakes
But now I'm not even trying

Maybe this is just another mistake
But if the world keeps quiet, maybe he wouldn't find out
And I think it could, cause poets like me have lots of influence
Over the inscrutable workings of fate
But give twenty monkeys ten minutes
And they might get lucky and come up with sentiment
But I only try because I can't take laughing at myself anymore

I'm trying to say no
And trying to forget what the smell of failure tastes like
Oh, wishing for the same old story
Is just wishing for stagnation
And my best friends all say I'm great
Funny how I'm the one who makes mistakes
But again, I'm only trying 'cause I'm can't laugh at any more mistakes
And all we can strive for is trying

Say, Who's Reading This?

Well, who have we here? Who is reading this? I know I have a readership out there, but I just don't know who they are. If you read this, please introduce yourself! Leave a comment! Say Hello, My Name is etc! While hit counters can tell you people are listening, they can't tell you who the listeners are. I'd love to know who the people who've put the 300+ visits on my site, so, again, please introduce yourself! Well, that's all I really have to say right now. I'll look forward to writing more poetry and thoughts, and reading your comments.

Walter

Not The Last Poem, Just The Most Recent

It's seven o'clock and I'm thinking of you
Now eleven fourty-five and I'm still blue
Six A.M. and I'm getting rather restless
Nine twenty-three and I'm ready for bed and undressed
Twelve thirty-two and my hand is on the phone
'Cause I'm finding out how badly I deal with this so-called
"Being alone"

I claim to be a poet
And friends tell me, they know it
But poetry is more subtle than I thought
It's not a magic cureall
It doesn't show the way
Just where you've been
And where you are
But no one can say where you're going
This way, or that way?
The right way? or the wrong way?

I'm not sure, but I think the record of my life is skipping
And inside my reputation is all awry
I can't keep fighting an enemy that I can't see
Maybe it was never there at all………Baby, I'll fake I'm happy
To match everyone else around you
But this act is already getting old
And the world outside isn't snowy
But it's a sight too cold for me

I may have already said it
But you might not have understood
So I'll say it again
"This act is already getting old
And the world outside isn't snowy
But it's a sight too cold for me"
Looking at the sky
Alone with you, except for your lover boy
Who keeps hanging around beside me
I'll forget who I am eventually
And that'll be the best moment of my life
Until, of course, I realize what I've done
And just how much I've lost

I use words, nothing else
And I'm trying to make your heart swell and burst
Sting your eyes with tears
And when you realize how high in regard I hold you
I know you'll break down and cry
And if you haven't yet, then you haven't found out
But it's just a matter of time
Of seconds, minutes, hours, years
Before you finally take the ear buds out
And stop for a moment to really hear (what I've been saying all along)

Oh So Much

I'm oh so eager
To hear you tell me why boys like me
Are worth our weight in words
And I can't wait
To find out why someone like me
Isn't worth the surplus time that's yours
When you go to home, (where you no longer belong)
Can you call me and say you're happy with a straight face?
Cry my baby, cry
'Cause you'll never be able to tell how much I care
(Hint hint; I'm a liar)
Summon up your inner demons
And tell me where it hurts
I'll do my best, you do the rest
And maybe you won't come out in last
I have to laugh when I see you cry
Though it breaks my heart inside
Because you never admitted you had time for me
So I'll never admit I only leave time for you
We both love each other oh so much
But being shy like how we are (both of us won't accept it)
We act as if we hate it
Trying is hard when you try to look like you're not
And pushing closer to you is harder when
The world will kill me unless I pull away
No one hates the fact that I love you
Half as much as I hate it myself

It's Seven O'Clock...

It's seven o'clock and my heart is half-breaking
And I can't stop my limbs from shaking
I've got the words, and I've got the style
What I haven't got is the chance to live your life for a while
When I'm around, please
Restrain the love you feel for him
I love you too, and it feels like a sin
But how can I stand here with my half-broken heart
And not feel the pain when you shake me completely apart?

It was warm in the basement
And you're hot and on fire
(Well, you're always hot, but we're talking heat now, not desire)
So you take a nice long walk outside
Without a coat, so you can reflect on what happened inside
But the heat fades away
And the wind turns cold
You find yourself chilling
Outside my house, our old
Hangout, happy place, where nothing went wrong
Until that September day when you left me for a song
I see you outside, freezing to ice
My good side asks you in, my bad side says, "does it feel nice?"

We can't be ourselves when we don't know who we are
Life is a journey, and my tired feet say it's too far
But I'll keep on walking on
And nothing'll stop me now
But the memory of what I felt for you pulls on me
Trying to pull me back
And how!
How can I talk to you with a half-breaking heart
When the love in your eyes when you look at him tears me apart?

Would You Like To Hear My World?

Maybe, say
"Have it your way"
And I'll run off with everything that isn't nailed down
Sentimentality is a word I misspell
You're so pretty, it's like the sound of a bell
If I start to ramble, that's just who I am
And how fast I'm slipping
Oh, I feel obligated to make you mine
But the part of me who says everything quiet
Hopes that it's only some passing aroma of wine
Drifting through the banks of my memory
Oh, this life of mine
I need to share it with someone
'Cause, you must understand, I have everything in mind
Literally everything
You ask what that means? I'll tell you
I'll tell you when we're alone
And the sun is shining, birds are singing
And I'll take the key to my mind
From behind your ear
I'll tell you everything you need to know
I'll let you in on everything
Everything in my world
In all the worlds in my mind

I'm A Liability, Not Your Best Friend

I'm a liability, not your best friend/Little darling, hang with me, you'll probably come out dead/I'm liable to catch you in the crossfire/In the guns and lead/Loyalty is stupid when the world wants your best friend dead

Don't watch out for my best interests/I ain't looking out for yours/And please avoid sentimentality/It'll amount to nothing more/Than a few extra tears at my funeral/Or ask for mine at yours

I'm a liability, not your best friend/Little darling, hang with me, you'll probably come out dead/I'm liable to catch you in the crossfire/In the guns and lead/Loyalty is stupid when the world wants your best friend dead

Forget you ever met me/Forget we ever loved/You'll end up sacrificed/A poor, shot down dove/Put down the three red roses/I'll put down my gun/We'll both walk away from here/Without hurting anyone

I'm a liability, not your best friend/Little darling, hang with me, you'll probably come out dead/I'm liable to catch you in the crossfire/In the guns and lead/Loyalty is stupid when the world wants your best friend dead

Darling I'd love to hate you/Then it wouldn't be this way/We wouldn't be parting at heart-point/I wouldn't be hurting you this way/Remember, don't get sentimental/It'll take you down/Maybe you won't accept it now/When you're dead you'll come around

When The Summer Ended?

We keep pounding away at everything
In the sunshine of a remembered summer
Where the colors are brighter,
The whites are whiter
And the night has that cool-air smell
When you're small and safe
And have no fear
When you sit outside and watch the moon appear
Nostalgia appears at a surprisingly young age
When the culture claims memory loss is all the rage

I keep pounding away at life
With scenery calculated to cause strife
But I ask you: rip down the curtains
Let in the light
Let the whole world fill up with that luminous night
I'll keep on wishing you were here
Inside my memories
And I'll keep on wish I could be there
In my memories
Come on in, the water's fine
It has a heady smell, like ancient wine
Spill the passion, enter the play
In my scientific braincells lie the key
To paradise: to memory

The Oldest Tree In The Forest Bleeds Our Bloody Initials

Somehow a distant hill calls me
With a literary reference
But the house across the street shouts out
With one heck of a party
The lies you weave are oh so intricATE
Burn up in the sun of a dark moon
And you forget where you stole your life from too darn soon
Soundless bullets hurt the worst
Your lead will lie in my heart for eternity
Nothing is real, nothing to get hung about
But everything still hurts the worst
Read between the lines
Of the next stanza to come

Blow yourself up
(Hearts are painful, yes?)
With a French grenade
(Caught the first one I threw, are you up to catching another?)
The players sweat, and drink Gatorade
(You'll be buried under the yew tree, in pleasant shade)
How ye been, the old man says
(He's a killer in disguise)
Whenever I think of you, two songs play on repeat
(One's called love, the other's called lust)
See above line when you see the one below
(Don't ask me which is stronger, they're siamese twins)
I'm watching when you sleep
(Holding your dreams and watching your body)
Oh so now you're in charge of your life
(I don't think so, missy)
Apparently you forgot who got you where you are today
(Just where I want you)

If you read between the lines
In above stanza
Remember what I didn't directly tell you
Face to pretty face
Can be a lie or mud
Or perhaps a bottle of blood
Put your ear to the ceiling
You can hear the vampires singing
And we all love you
Or the person who tells us pretty lies
And sneaks and tells us we've won the prize
But it's just a consolation one
Maybe if I played lead guitar, you'd love me
But electric ukulele never got the babes
The most important word in this song is the only one you missed
And I'm gonna take my life tax from you
Alone, in a dark room
When you're outside alone, the only light for your autobiography
Is that cold blueish moon

Spinning With ?Madness?

Don't say you're crazy
You know nothing of madness
Spinning red, in my head
We're all oh so intricate
Complex puzzles, smashed to pieces
Oh, oh, oh, (headaches, breaking me to pieces)
Shake the world, wake them up
Then vomit into the street (you can't survive here, but you don't fit into anywhere else)
Look at your feet
Look at the bullet lodged in your head
Teef ruoy ta kool
Deah ruoy ni degdol tellub eht ta kool
That's just ducky, 'cause I only work here
Don't forget what you came here for
Don't forget who you are
I did a long time ago (oh, oh oh)
Angels, demons, arms dealers and health inspectors crowd around
Put my ear to the ground, I ask for it back
Wow! question for the teacher; why are we testing you?
And why am I crazy? I gotta broken brain
And and and and I would be put to death for what I think
Except that it's only my "condition"
Oh so darn intricate is the universe
I think I may have broken it
I can't help thinking in lines and colors,
Humans are oh so intricate (funny how mad men know everything)

Misread By The CD Player Of Society

When we go down/We're not catching fire, we're putting ourselves out/And we aren't goth/Just a little dark on the insides/The ones we keep so close inside

I see you watching me/Staring into my corner, staring like it's a freak show/But you can't disguise the hungry look in your eye/I'm just too uneven for you/Too low socially, too high mentally/No, I don't fear being along/I'm loved by someone who's too good for airhead society/And longs to be accepted and one of you/But I don't fear being alone

We don't listen to your music/We don't buy your favorite brands of clothes or philosophy/And we have the means, just not the inclination to make our greatest wishes come true/We're too lazy to rule the world

I see you watching me/Staring into my corner, staring like it's a freak show/But you can't disguise the hungry look in your eye/I'm just too uneven for you/Too low socially, too high mentally/No, I don't fear being along/I'm loved by someone who's too good for airhead society/And longs to be accepted and one of you/But I don't fear being alone

We love too hard to be on of you/Unlike you, we can only tolerate the truth/You're fed on lies and styrofoam/While we manage to get by on life

The Sharp Smell Of Magic

The smell of you on me makes my head swell
And the lights blink; magic
Oh, everyone deserves a friend like you
Or at the very best, an enemy
Because the Christmas lights hung from your head
Remind me that you're the last person to know me
For who I really am (or was before you)
Get up, stand up, drop up
Dancing on the wall, forgetting who is home
And the scent of your hair makes my head spin
You have know idea how much trouble I could be in
If I remember that I live in the smell of hairspray
And the sound of good girls, anti-you's
The ones that don't know how to party or how to forget
But the lights blink; magic
And out of all the hundreds of people currently interfering with my life
You're the only one I can see (or touch)
This has, gone on, far too long for me to hit restart
I can only love you from backstage
'Cause I keep the show running
While your reputation should be running me into the ground
Tonight, you keep me up with concrete pillars
Just being friends is too unfriendly, how about you come with me
And we can go love each other underneath the highway
And watch the river flow and the city lights glimmer
And fight off questions about where we've been
Everyone who writes poetry like mine
They deserve awards and a lover like you could be (if you kissed me)
Keep on driving me lazy, I'm too crazy
To pull myself out of the magic back to where I came from
Well, I'm offended you consider me your friend
Because I consider you my reason for living
And my life with reason
When all's said and done, you feel too good
And your hair smells too nice for me to call it a sin

Our Self-Made Tragedy

We try act happy over the snow you brought me
But I can tell from the fake smile on your face
It's only rain
So when we lock ourselves up in ice
We only have each other for warmth
And only each other to blame
But I keep my anger and frustration close in tight
Because it's all you won't steal from me
Come sleep, come sleep all day
I'll be running, far away
Nothing's as good as you (or as painful)
You look so blue
Freezing in your own rain
Shower us in your numbing pain
Come on, please let a cliche come between us
And block out the scent of the cold kerosene
The flammable substances wrapped in slush
The car hits, as the audience hushes
People stare, our life rushes
Rushing through the motions of this never-ending dream
Have we broken up again, I can never tell
Because if we have or if we haven't you keep nailing shut my coffin
But if you say it makes you happy
You're either a liar or a sadist
My diary lies unused
Because to stop myself from being a failure every day
I swallow the ink from my pen
You're my only regret and my biggest mistake
And all I need is someone
Who looks, acts and thinks nothing like you
The man with the shotgun killed the cat
And the world's best secret is that you cut out my heart
And keep it in a hat, hung up in your closet
You couldn't even hide it well, because the part of me that loves
Isn't what you value, or want to keep around
Take that

[part two]

I'm keeping quiet
Not even breathing
Let no one know I'm here
Angel, demon or woman
I don't know which I fear
Staring up at the lid of my coffin
Feeling the words you carved there, and the luscious dark wood
And the thick air
Hiding underground, where you put me
And where you'll leave me be
Sometime I'll just stop breathing
And I hope you choke on the cool night air
Let your conscience fasten itself around your neck
I'll gladly watch you sink and choke
If only to have the hurt laid bare

Bigger And Better At Being Worse

Oh, don't be sarcastic
Please I'm asking you
Because you're making a complete mess of it
I should let you know, we're playing on a level plain
'Cause now I match you pound for pound in substance, style
And cynicism
You just like him so much don't you?
The blond pretty boy, I could make him look blue
And I would, just for to hurt you
But he can't help who he is
A pretty looking boy with a pretty empty head
And a laugh that sounds like something's about to be dead
He's just a cardboard prop to me
I could break him, just to hurt you
As you can tell, I'm not your old polite little yes-boy
Your executive toy
Your wind up, throw away action figure
Now I'm a little bit older
A little bit colder
And a little less naive
You can't control me anymore
I'm not chaining myself to anyone anymore
I've come back from the grave you put me in
And I have something to tell you
And it isn't going to be pretty
Ah, for Christmas Eve
It sure is chilly

Hide Within My Rock

Don't yell at me for who I am
That's wrong, but don't expect to find out from me what's right
I only know that if I still talked to you
I'd still be crying every night
And if you never love you never cry
And never have to watch her die
Broken in your arms
So that's why I have my walls
My caller i.d. and deadbolts
So I never have to love, or cry, or wonder why?
Why?
It's a paradise, I tell myself
And after all
I have my poetry and books to protect me from outside thoughts
And my music to talk to and guide me
I never will see you again
We'll never be anything, not even friends
So don't talk to me again
My perfect life has no room for lovers, or friends

Nobody Likes "Maybe" Backed Into A Corner

We don't care about who we are
(simply because we can't be who we want to)
You're my best, closestest friend (in my head)
But in real life you're almost as far away as dead
(how happy we are in my head!)
When you feel blue like me (the sea)
Everything rhymes with death
And you can't cry, cause the tears won't come
The human race has already used up its allowance of salt water
Poor me/poor you/poor we
Light you on fire in effigy, leave me be
Leave me the person I want to be
The one you kicked off the hayride
You're my best mistake for ruining my life
You could ruin my life (because you're so pretty)
Keep quiet, I've kept quiet, like little boy blue
You like him don't you?
You loose the color blue from underneath the rock
It was buried under
Christ
You're great
Working for us sinful little people
But I light matches in the wintertime, just to keep my head on
And the snow outside, where I belong
And why does "flowers" rhyme with death?
And why do I hear your voice every night when I try to sleep
You'd weep, like I can't, oh wait, I'm a tragic poet, I forgot
Can I lie like I'm happy with you to the world?
Because you're the last locked door between me and you
Douse the wick in kerosene
Lit like a candle
Douse the wicked kerosene
It's all that's keeping me rambling on
Don't say that poets can't dream
I've dreamed up more than life could ever create
Thank God for imagination
Thank evolution for opposable thumbs
Thank me for not shouting it all out on a rooftop
Because then the world would never let us be
But it never leaves alone
Such farsighted, insighted, uprighted boys like me
I look so good in shades of blue
So do you

On Politics, or, You #$%3ing %#$^ $#$%%$^!

Ah, politics. Something that deeply divides the nation. And all nations. And the world. Why is this, you may ask? Well, I might have found the answer. People are thick headed jerks. I know some perfectly nice people, who, if politics is talked about around them, will immediatly turn into the most venomous, disgusting show of intolerance. They refuse to behave civilized about it. If you're going to be a jerk, don't talk about it. Sounds easy, right? Ha ha ha. Not so. Usually, the worse a person is, the more he or she will be attracted to it! But here's a good rule of thumb for gauging people's political hatred level. If they start talking about politics without anyone bringing it up, and their talking about it is very snooty and down-putting to their opposition, quickly tie him or her down, gag the person, and run away as fast as you can. Nothing good can come from these people. The problem with politics is that the majority of people do not realize that the people with whom they differ in politics have legit reasons for their views. Different reason than you have, correct, but legit all the same. Because they don't get this, Democrats are accepting and tolerant of everyone except those who have even a vaguely conservative attitude, and Republicans see themselves as protectors of all that is Good, American, and Holy. If you never hear me talking serious politics to anyone, don't be surprised. I don't want to force anyone to publicly declare themselves an ass. So, just remember that. The person on the other side of the table isn't Satan. He or she is someone just like you, only a different shade of red or blue.

The Ageala Mahor Conflicts, part 1.

The surface of Ageala Mahor shines and wavers through the outer layer of the atmosphere, like the air in a desert. On the surface, though, it's cool and wet, for the rainy season has just departed. And in opinion of Private Herring, Amphibious Ambush Troop, it's just a sight too cool for his liking. "Sir, permission to speak?" The request was answered by a gruff "Permission granted" from Sergeant Maliffso, Amphibious Ambush and Assault Extraordinaire. "Sir," said Private Herring, "isn't it going to be great when the weather control station's up?" The cold stare he got in reply said, very clearly, no, it will not be great. "Keep your eyes on the water private; the last report said the sklinterrs are coming this way." They were on the edge of a rocky cliff, the abrupt end to the ground. Below the cliff was the clear blue Agealian sea, and somewhere in there was a group of sklinterrs, surging through the water, their sole aim being to attack the nearby United Base. Sklinterrs are one of the strangest death machines; they are individually two foot long sharp metal splinters, yet they can bind together to form shapes for traveling. In water they form a vaguely dolphin-like shape, and on land they can create a flowing snake. When they reach their target, they split apart, and fly through the air, spinning wildly. While doing this, they can shred nearly any material apart. And this is why Private Herring and Sergeant Maliffso were stationed on the edge of a sea cliff, with an amphibious missile launcher for each of them.
As they waited, Sergeant Maliffso watched Private Herring; "The boy could be good," he thought to himself, "but he seems to be rather easily distracted. I wonder how he'll cope with his first battle." They stood quietly, then Private Herring sunk to his knees. "Private?" Sergeant Maliffso asked. "Praying sir; I had a sudden resurgence of Sunday school memories." "I see. Well I would- Get up Private, they're here." Two large dolphins had swam into view. Or at least, they were shaped similar to dolphins. The machines were about three times larger than the average dolphin, and made of a shiny platinum-looking metal. "Get ready to fire, Private, but don't alert them to our presence." "Siryessir. Preparing to- oops." The missile cartridge slipped out of the Private's hands, and crashed upon the rocks below. The air briefly turned yellow around where the cartridge hit, then went back to normal. "Wonderful, Private, just wonder-" before he could finish his sentence, several sklinterrs detached from one of the groups, and launched themselves out of the water towards the Sergeant's head. He dispatched them with a missile, and began to reload. But before he could fire more than one or two missiles, the sklinterrs had already reached the cliff, and were flowing up in rivers of liquid steel. "Damn, we can't hit them from here; the angle we're at will just ensure we miss if we fire. Come on Private, it's time to retreat back to base. Run!" They took off into the forest, running for their lives. "Drop your weapons Private, they'll just slow you down!" "Yessir!" They let their weapons drop to the ground, just as they heard the whirring that meant the machines had gotten up the cliff and were already ripping apart the vegetation.
After only thirty seconds or, an explosion ripped out as the sklinterrs hit the guns; a high pitched scream went up, and then they got angry. They split apart, and spread through the jungle indiscriminately shredding whatever moved. "Get into a tree Herring, we'll be able to hide from them that way!" "Yessir!" The Sergeant swiftly clambered up a tree, but as the Private grabbed onto a branch, it snapped and he tumbled to the ground. He got up and made a leap for another branch. He never got there. A sklinterr came out of the undergrowth and drilled through his chest, killing him instantly. The sklinterrs came back together, and flowed on as the snake form toward the United Base. The Sergeant marked the place where the Private had fallen, and came down from the tree. He started running off to base, taking a circuitous route to avoid running into his previous pursuers. "Sorry kid... Bad luck." He thought to himself as ran, "But I'll be back for you. Though what needs to be done now is save the Settlement; your corpse can come later."

You've Been Here Too Long

Don't forget what you came here for
Just to walk through that open door
You're just lingering here
In a world that isn't real
At least, not for you
This is my own world, why won't you leave?
For you it's just a passage to somewhere else
Or should be
Why won't you leave?
You're the only thing I can't erase
I just keep telling to you're gone
But you've been here all along

A Love Story

The house was lit up, all the windows letting out light and the joyful celebration contained inside shown to all the world. The house had been keeping all the heat and happiness bottled up inside, except for a few snowballers with a lust for the icy cold feeling you get when a snowball hits you square in the back of the neck and drips down your back, but they had all gone inside a long time ago. Presently a car came up the hill, its tires slipping a bit here and there, but making it despite the adverse conditions for driving. The car pulled into the already over filled driveway, and a young man got out. His face looked about twenty or so, but it had that curious, utterly contented look that usually only comes to a person after a lifetime of joyful marriage. The man and that curious face made their way up the steps to the house, and quietly inserted themselves into that festive gathering.

Hanging up his coat on one of the already overfilled pegs in the hallway, he walked into living room. He was greeted by surprised and happy exclamations, and he returned them with merry hellos and how are yous. He wandered from room to room, inquiring, Have you seen a certain person? but no one had. Finally he came to a room at the back of the house. As soon as he opened up the door, a guilty silence came over the room. That feeling that comes when the witnesses to something suddenly realize they should have done their duty and intervened, but did nothing. Anyway, in the middle of the room were a young man and woman, kissing fiercely underneath the mistletoe. The intruder stepped forward and said, "I made it! And I see you've met a new friend." She quickly pushed her mistletoe lover away and responded, "Oh, um, I can't believe you got in! I thought your flight was canceled?" "I did too, but they decided to try it. Can I talk to you?" She left the other man underneath the mistletoe, and followed her fiance out of the room. They walked to the front hall and collected their coats, and made their way outside.

They started walking aimlessly, in no particular direction, but eventually, they found their way to a line of pine trees, cut off from view of the house. Tired, she sat down on the garden bench underneath one of the trees, while he remained standing. She watched his back as he watched the stars, then let her eyes drop as he began to speak.

"You should know, I still love you. I don't care what reason you had for kissing him; if you had one and what it was are nothing to me. I love you, and that's all that matters. Love connects you to someone in a way that is so deep, so strong, there is no way we can even comprehend it. If we were to die right now, and you were sent to Heaven, and I was sent to punishment in Hell, my voice would ring out across that great void between the two realms, and I would be happy, knowing, even as I burn, that you can hear my voice and I can still speak to you and tell you I love you. Love. I would give everything I can for our love. If I had all the power in God's universe, and could smite all life or make all the suns go out at once with a blink of my eye, I would do it without a thought for the consquences if you wished me to. I would undergo more pain than my physical body can bear; I could not be happy without you, even in paradise. What does it matter to me if you kiss one man; what does it matter if you make love to a thousand? I Love you, I've welded our souls together, and if you stray or if you stay by my side, it will change nothing between us. I know what it is like to be God, for my love for you closes in upon the Love He has for all His people. I Love you."

She replied, "I must have had too much eggnog; anyway, just before you came into the room, it was he who came up as I was walking under the mistletoe and kissed me." She began to cry, and he moved with infinite care and tenderness to comfort her.

Smile, Princess Suzy

Oh, just smile/I want you to smile, princess Suzy/The lords and ladies are anxiously waiting/Oh smile lovely Suzy/Shower the kingdom in sunshine and roses/Smile, princess Suzy

Oh happy lovely Suzy/She's the Queen's little girl(God save the Queen!)/Dear precious Suzy/She's the King's whole world(God save the King!)/The hopeful princes gather/From out of far off lands/They all come together/To kiss her dainty hands/God save Princess Suzy!

But the princess Suzy/Is sad and dismayed/Her pretty pet piggy was shot in a glade/He was roaming in the forest, and was mistaken for a boar/Shot in the side, never to grunt no more/Smile princess Suzy, though thee be sad/And your pretty face/Shall make the world glad

Smile On Ice

Whenever I see your smiling face/I have to smile myself/Because I love you, yes I do/But at the very moment when I smile at you/You turn my whole world blue/'Cause you're ice/You're cold/You're the one I want to hold/But if I do, I might freeze on you/And never
be able to let go

You're so beautiful/The world should obey whatever you say/But it won't, because nature doesn't work that way/But you can still freeze it, that's true/'Cause every time I look at you/My breath stings in my lungs/My heart skips a beat/My skin grows cold/But I'll never grow old/Because in those moments/I can feel time slowing down/The cold of your smile stops God's clock going round/The world stops for a moment/Then jumps back with a start/I can't take all this shuddering/It's making me come apart

Nothing Like You

Nothing kills like you/And the frost of your smile/You freeze my heart, tear me apart/Which is strange considering you would give anything to live my life/Being a rock star isn't a glory/It's just the world's way of punishing good musicians/Having the reporters ooh, ah, and jump over themselves/To tell the world what you were wearing when you ate dinner/And you can't make them go away/All I want is to sing to you each day/But one bad rhyme and the critics shoot me down/You don't buy my cds, cause you just listened to them to be hip/It ends the same if it's my feet that slip or my tongue/I'll try something different, because I want you to be happy/And I'm the one who has it all/Who'll never fall/And you're the one/Who's day is done/And you want my life/And I want you/But the tabloids say, "these are never true"/And my sad smile kills like you

My Flame, My Burn

I smell like smoke/Every time you come round/You're burning me up/I can tell because through the fire and flames/I always see you/You're the one/Every time I burn/You're oil on the flames/And you won't let me go/Because you don't even know you're holding onto me

You're burning me up/You're so hot/The heat's making me blush/Red on my cheeks/On fire in my heart/Burning up me up inside/Making me fall apart/You don't think of yourself as fire/Maybe the sea in winter/But the sea's boiling/And I'm drowning in you/Fire fills my lungs and the air I breath/When you enter the room/And the firemen have all gone home for the day/I never thought I'd feel this way/But oh the heat/Oh the flames

Please oh please/Let it rain/Put out this burning love and pain/But every time you walk into the room/You only stoke the fire more/But when night comes/You'll save me from the cold/I can freeze or I can burn/What can I do?/I can freeze or I can burn/I can't help being drawn to your flame/Freeze or burn/Let the cold claim me/Or pitch into the flame/I'm gonna burn, for calling your name

Squirrels

It is a little known fact about me, but I love squirrels. They are like little personifications of Nature, small, energetic, clever and entirely unreadable. You can't see into their heads and figure out what they are thinking; you can only guess. Actually, they seem not to even think. Just as the wind and the waves of the sea are unthinking moving parts of Nature, squirrels dash about, but seem to have only the harmony of Nature behind them as a driving force. Interesting little tree rats. Although, if you look hard, you might be able to see the dragon inside them.

You're The End Of My Life

You're the end of my life
As I walk down life's path
I'm standing on a hill
And I can see the end of my life
It's far away, thank goodness
Yet closer than I might have expected
Heart disease, well
I've tried to eat healthy, but it looks like it didn't work out
But the grandkids are thick, crowding the hospital room
And those must be my children, thankfully they all have
Some of my physical traits
But who is that beside me?
Who is holding my hand?
You? It's you? But you...
I don't understand
We were friends from when I was little
But then it became something more
Only to slid away like sand
You were lost to me
You? How can it be you?
I'm happy, but I don't understand
I guess the only thing to do
Is wait and see
How it came to be
That you're the end of my life

C.D.

I have some news. Most of my posts have been "lovesickyish" ones. Due to recent life changes, my focus has shifted off of these matters, and more to the goal of totally dominating life. I've vowed not to let love, hate or friendship drag me down. Why should you let love for a person grab you and smash you into the gutter? Love can ruin your life. And why should you let someone's hate of you push you down? You have no reason to just lie down; stand strong and don't fall. And I'm not willing to sacrifice my health, happiness and future for the sake of sinking down to share a friend's misery. Instead this is what I plan to do. I'm focusing on achieving the best life I can, and I'm not giving it up if the person I choose to get ensnared in love with is on a lower level of life. Instead, the only option is for me to help her up. If someone hates me; well, nuts to them. They can't bring me down, so it's like they don't even exist. And I won't go down for friends; I can only lift them up. My philosophy towards life can be summed up in two little words: carpe diem. Latin words, both of them. Seize the day. Grab it, and never let it go. If you're not daring, if you don't let everyone know what you think of them, if you don't stretch the limits of the life cut out for you, you might end up with an ok life. An average one. Nothing special. Just like you. Ok. Average. Not special. People who are beyond what you think possible for them didn't get that way by being passive. C.D. and not compact disc. Carpe Diem, seize the day, or else you'll never be the way you want to. Burn those words into your brain. Sear them on the surface of your gray thinking matter. You only have the rest of your life, so hurry up and get living! Always stay the way you were, only a little better than you were. Remember; C.D.

Carpe Diem

(I'm Getting) Closer (To What I Really Want To Say)

It didn't end that night
In fact it just started
You're stuck in my heart
And you'll have to kill me to make me give up
I'll turn off all of the lights
And try to tell you how I feel
But I can't put it the way I want with words
At least, none you've heard
I'd die for you
I'd throw myself off the edge of the world
Or off a cliff, or down the stairs
I can't control the way I feel for you
If I could I wouldn't be writing this
But you're the only thing I think about
And the only person
I'd turn off the lights
If you prefer the dark
I could extinguish the sun, because nothing's impossible for me to do
If I'm doing it for you
Why am I doing this to us?
I'm doing it even though I still know that it won't work
For the rest of them, and you
You just don't love me cause you don't know who I am

Just Another Poem (Cause That's What I'm Here For)

Have I said all I want to?
Have I done everything I could?
If so, why do I feel the same
Why am I still living under the same old name?
What went wrong, or did I not give it time to go right?
What makes you fear the night?
The time when your world goes dark
And you're all alone, I've hit the mark
You don't want to be alone
You want someone to be with you
In your mind, anyway
You want someone to be thinking of you
Every moment of every day
You need someone to need you
For it to wreck her life if you go away
And you'll never leave her
Cause your life wouldn't ever be the same
The sun would have dropped from the sky
And the moon would have given up and died
Poets can never find the right words to say
To complete their passions, for they were made that way
(Can't you please guess, guess what I'm trying to say?)

My Heaven

When this world gets too hard to take
When you can't make it slide
Sometimes you have to make your own Heaven
You're having a bad time
The one you had last night
Reheated and ready to serve
But you can't take it again
So you take out your Heaven
This world gets hard to take
That's a fact of life and death
But your Heaven can always come
Come on in and replace the world
A mental medication
My little slice of Heaven
Oh, my very own Heaven
You're my own little slice of Heaven
That's you
My Heaven

Someone Else's Song

I don't know how to start this song/All the beginnings have been taken/I'm the latest lovestruck lad/To decide to write a love song/But all of its been said before/All these words have been sung/Before they were original/This comes just after the last original one

You can guess at the love I feel for you/You hear it every day on the radio/And on your cds at home/I want to tell you in a way to impress/But every line I want to sing/Fall Out Boy has the copyright on/I can't put it into my own words/'Cause they were stolen out of my mouth before I even thought of them/This is someone else's song

What it comes down to/I love you very much/And I can't say it in a new way/Or one to hit the charts/'Cause this is just a teenage heartache/Loverboy's heartbreak song/But the words were wrote wrong/It's all already been said/This is someone else's song

For Every Boy...

For every boy with a whole heart
There's a girl with beauty and a gun
And for every lonely girl
There are five boys who promise to be the
Perfect one
Maybe you won't find out
Maybe I won't be found out
Love breaks hearts
Causes false starts
And can't you see what you mean to me
Can't you bear to see what's there
I hope you'll understand
When I kneel and take your hand
'Cause for every boy with a whole heart
There's a girl with beauty and a hammer
And for every girl with a broken heart
There are five boys who want to put back a part

I Know, or, Golden Deal

Think of your friends. I know you have them; everyone has friends, and no one is completely immune to the friendly bug. Now, do you have a friend with a golden deal on life? You know, someone who everything seems to right for. Like the world finds some compassion in its heart, and grants them happiness. They have their own little troubles, but they are not affected by them. They stay rays of sunshine, letting their friends and family be rewarded by their presence. These Golden Dealers are not egocentric, nor are they nasty. They are, on the contrary, unusually nice. People love to know them. But there is one funny thing about them: They are never Golden Dealers to themselves. They may recognize that they are lucky or blessed, but they don't see themselves as having a Golden Deal on life.

I know what it's like, knowing a Golden Dealer. I also know what it's like to have a bronze deal on life. But I can use alchemy, and turn my bronze to gold. If you want to too, all you have to do is become perfectly content with your life. That's both easier and harder than it sounds. Most of your life might be easy to accept, but there is bound to be something you'll have to work on. Or maybe not. You might have perfect contentment on Earth right in front of you. If you do, you are lucky. You are a veritable leprechaun, that's how lucky you are. But for all the Golden Dealers, stay sunny, and spread your sunshine around to make the world a better place. And for all you people down in the dirt; I know how you feel, and if you dig a little, you might find gold.

A Song, Not A Lament

I'd have done something before/If I'd only known/But time trudges on/And hopes flutter down/To land upon the dirt/With hardly a sound

I should've seen it coming/Should've read the signs/Understood what was being said/With those trifling words/If only, if only/I could have heard/But time trudges on/And hopes flutter down/To land upon the dirt/With hardly a sound

Maybe we'll meet again someday/In a foreign city, far away/Or maybe at the coffee shop down the street/I would give it all to heaven, should we meet/But time trudges on/And hopes flutter down/To land upon the dirt/With hardly a sound

Feeling So Good, Look Out World

It's coming on again
That flying high feeling
When the world's rolling too fast and you're falling off the edge
You know you're just setting yourself up to come down
Cause no one deserves to be that happy
And the world won't let it stand
But that one instant makes it all worth while
When you feel you can't go wrong when you know you will and you don't
And who can tell you what to do? you're king of the world
The laws of physics were made to be broken
All these words were made to be spoken
Now just to pick between all these one true loves
Dark eyed crows and white doves
They say just wing it, mine aren't ready yet
But the edge is coming up
Gotta pick, might be sick
But who can stop me?
I'm king of the world

I'd Make You A Sandwich

• Don't be afraid of anything I say
• I wouldn't want you to feel that way
• I'm almost a stranger, I'm a strange friend
• One who never wants our friendship to end
• Oh, I think you're lonely, I hope you are
• Cause that's the only way I'll get to you

• Crying at night, I think I hear you crying too
• Or is it the sound of the wind in the trees
• Oh wind, carry her words to me
• Be our messager, give us the air to speak

• But maybe you don't want me
• Maybe I'm not what you want from life
• Well then, tell me what it is so I can find it for you
• I would get you gold, jewels, anything you choose
• I'd make you a sandwich, make you a world
• Make the heavens tumble down
• What would you have me do?
• I think that it'd be too much to hope for
• For you to ask me to love you
  

Dead Poets Society

Last night I watched the movie "The Dead Poets Society" for the first time. Amazing. It is a very powerful movie. It didn't carry a message that was super clear, that anyone who just happened to watch the movie could see. The message required you to discover what it was, and you can only do that if you tap into the poet inside you. It's there, you just have to find it.

One of the messages in the movie is the fact that almost all men and boys have poets inside them. It's just that the poet usually gets pushed away. But he is there. Men make themselves into something other than what they should be. They should be poets, lovers, dreamers and romantics. They should look beyond their physical selves and appreciate the creative genius inside themselves. Inside each teenage boy, fueled by passion and every other emotion it's possible to have, lurks a maker of worlds, a charmer of women, a painter of beautiful paintings. Someone who dreams, and carries those dreams into the "real" world. Inside the boy who runs by himself on the football field; he has one of the most influential novels ever written, a bible of emotional rather than spiritual revelations. The middle aged man who works hard every day to support his family; he holds poems inside that could bring he and his wife back to the days when they were young and courted by the schoolyard wall. Why does this happen? This wasting of talent for the sake of "being a man." Wouldn't a real man be tapping into the revelations inside him? Or would he blindly turn away from that to a dumb, silent reactionary world? Why? Why do they sacrifice their poets for the chance to be a crude brute?

Little Girl With The Dusky Eyes

Hey little girl/With the dusky eyes/Holding inside her secret surprise/Hey little girl/Your innocence blinds/Hold it, keep it, deep inside/As you grow and start to know/Of all the dark and terror/Don't forget the little girl inside/Who watched the world with dusky eyes

Old Tales

Snow falls down onto the city
Silencing our "advanced" society
Hushing the cars and the noise
The city falls asleep
Inside homes, some old fathers
And mothers turn out the lights
And tell tales that their grandparents told them
Who heard it from their grandparents who heard it from theirs
Going back until the tales were born in far off lands
In the bitter grip of winter
When legends were told for the first time
By the ones who saw them themselves
The elves walking through the snow
While the wind blows and shadows move
Across the snow
Creeping out of corners into the hearts of their people
The superstitious ones, the tale tellers
The ones who ruin our children
Who fill their heads with nonesense
But the children listen to the tales
And then they leave; one there, two there
Until only a few are left
These last few are the talelisteners
The dreamers unconfined by science
And laws made by it
They know that in the winter science dies
And they listen to the oldest tales
While their parents shudder from behind the door
Then the dreamers, the tale believers go out into the snow
To look for elves and unknown things
That lurk in winter's darkness
The dreams flee them just beyond their sight
I hear them outside my window
For I'm a taleteller, a superstitious one
And magic is real in the heart of winter
And in the hearts of the dreamers

Would The Man In The Back Please Stand Up, or, Yo, What's Up?

Ever notice how there are always people in the back? At anything from, say, a rock concert to a seminar on how to chop wood, there is always a back row. Same thing with peace and equality. Everyone is not on the same level. In a world where everything is happy and peaceful, and everyone is equally important and given the same rights, there will always be a secret percent of the population that will be downtrodden and controlled. It's human nature: you stand taller if you're standing on someone else. Slavery and servitude will never be gone, but they can be pushed away for while. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep over the condition of the world? Well, stop it. What does the world care for a single person's tears. They are non existent. A better way to spend your time would be to try and change the world. But the inertia of Homo Sapiens is impressive. A better strategy for changing it would be walking along with it in a slight curve, rather than trying to make it go backwards. A slight curve will bring you where you want to be sooner or later. But back to the man in the back. He's sitting there, listening to the music and learning how to chop wood. He wants to be in the limelight, but, he's at the back. No chance for him to be in front. When suddenly he sees the rockstar/lumberjack gesture at him, and seems to hear him say "Hey, man in the back! Get up here!" He slowly trods up to the stage and climbs on. And he can't believe it when the rockerjack says to him, "So, what's up?"

You might not know, and I sure don't

You don't know what it's like
To be taken down by someone who should've lifted you up
Well neither do I
And you've never had a messy breakup that's screwed you up for years
Well I can't talk, and I can't tell you what it's like
To mess up your chance at happiness
Or be embedded in a dead-end relationship that won't give you room to turn around
Cause I've never had any of those happen to me
I've been standing on the sidelines
Off of center stage
Watching from the hallway
Dodging the love and rage
Maybe I should step in
I could pick up the beat pretty quick
But a dancer needs a partner
And I haven't found one yet

Follow The Piper

Can you hear that sweetly singing song
Beware, tis the piper
If a tall thin man comes strolling along
Beware, tis the piper
With his checked coat and his ancient flute
He plays a song so sweetly
But do not listen, do not stop
For he can make your will to drop
He'll lead you blindly on into the unknown
If you do this it's doubtful you will return home
Not to demonize him, no
He just goes where he wants to go
Playing for his own amusement- Lo!
I hear a flute, I must go

The Ever-successful Enterprizes Of The Enemies Of Edna, or, Life Sunny Side Up

In leading your life, you occasionally make mistakes. Like every other minute, for example. The mistake that is easiest to make on a blog is, NOT SHOWING THE REAL YOU! I yelled that just to show how important it is. When you record your personality onto another medium besides your mind, you invariably focus on one aspect of it. Most often you dwell on the negative. Many people use blogs to unburden themselves of bad things that happened to them during that day. Feeling satesfied with that, they don't bother to record their happy moments. That can mislead people to a dangerous extent. If you have a "miserable" blog, be sure to include some of the happy things in your life, so then you will save the rest of us some worry. Hm, I feel a poem coming on

Life in real life is a mixture most lovely
Full of sunshine, rainy days and alliteration
But on the internet it becomes a tragic play
That threatens to end itself each day
To paint a clearer picture
Erase some of the blur
Make your sunshine brighter on your blog
Ensure that the rainclouds don't wallow like hogs
That wasn't a good rhyme, but look I'm not sad!
I can transpose it all, the good and the bad

So Sad And Lonely, or, Poor Little Person

Today I was thinking about a certain percent of the population. It belongs to no particular race, or gender. It covers all types of people. It's the sad and lonely people. You know, the kind that gives off the illusion of being happy, but if you happen to catch them by themselves, they always have a sad face on. They may be physically attractive, have great personalities, and be the kind of person who everyone likes. But inside they are gloomy, because they are all by themselves. Something is missing from them. In some of them it is the inability to form romantic relationships, in others they can't go beyond a superficial friendship. They long for companionship, but don't know how to vocalize their longings. If they aren't broken beyond repair in their younger years, (read teenage) they grow up to be the "lone wolf" type of person. Strong seeming, not liable to sharing their feelings, often involved in artistic things. They can be poets, rockers, painters, anything that will allow them to shunt their longings and emotions into another place. Or they just come crashing down, to fall off center stage and into the background. Someone who is known by many people, but plays a part in no life but theirs. They can be so sad and lonely, those poor little people.

HAHAHAH- Not Funny

Today I started a new blog, to contain all of my funny that never makes it onto this one. You can find it at its uniform resource locator. Go ahead, see if you can find it. I dare you.

(p.s.) I will continue to update this blog. I still love it. And I will keep it going for hopefully years to come.

When Will It Be Me?

The eternal question I can never ask
When will it be me?
When will the clouds be brushed away
Would you love me?
The desperate question I so want to ask
Which makes me fall in fear
Do you love me? could you love me?
Is what I want to ask
I could love you, I would love you
But someone would need to ask
I'd put your name into this line
And wait for love to bloom
But I can't do that, no I can't
I don't know if your heart has room
For a poor lonely soul like I
I know I should ask
But your "no" would make me cry
Or, perhaps, die.

So, A Funny Thing Happened On The Flight Into Town...

I have an announcement to make. I've switched to the Beta Blogger! I made the change after I realized I was an hour late to a friends house, and when I called to say I was coming, he was just going out the door. I was really bored after that, so I decided to upgrade my blog. And I like it! Lot'sa new features, and just... nicer. So, yeah, there ya go. Just wanted to tell my loyal friends why everything suddenly turned blue... Reassure them that, no, it's not the water.

I can calm your fear

Little lady
Pretty baby
You say you're afraid of the night
Well, I can calm your fear
I've spent many nights out in the cold
And baby there's nothing out there
Nothing that I would let touch you anyway
Little lady
Pretty baby
You say you're afraid of war
Well, I've fired guns and bathed in blood
To keep it away from here
And I can calm your fear
Little lady
Pretty baby
You say you're afraid of death
Well, I've died every night with my heart froze tight
For a love that isn't here
And little lady
Pretty baby
I'd love to calm your fear

On Relationships Between People or Why You Gotta Be So $#$% Mean?

Something I've noticed over time is the tendency of people to conceal their feelings toward other people. Deception is part of the recipe in almost every relationship, from coworkers, to children and their parents, to close friends. Maybe you hide the fact that your friend sets you on edge with that strange noise he makes when he's about to say something. Or you have to conceal the fact that you're strongly attracted to your coworker. I'm not standing apart from this; in fact, I would say I deceive everyone I know, in the sense that none of them, to my knowledge know exactly what I think about them. You usually try not to let someone see you, the totally real, core you. The person you are to yourself, deep down inside yourself. You don't show this person the real you, because, after all, you don't know the real person. Unfortunately, the other person uses the same logic. This ends up with all the signals getting corrupted, and everyone getting confused. You might ask someone, "Why you gotta be so #%#% mean?" when that person is desperately in love with you. You might also be entranced with someone, but for some reason or another you can't tell him or her. Deception is chaos, and also really, really hard to give up. How to fix the situation, that's the problem...

On Sleep And The Time Preceding It or Yaaaaaawn

Last night I was about to go to sleep, when I started thinking about it. When you think about it, the time immediately before you fall asleep is pretty unique. It's when you are sleepy enough to think about all the things you were too busy to think about during the day. Fears and doubts come rushing in, all your private worries. But then the happy moments slip in, far too few, but comforting all the same. You think about your failures, and your successes. Then, as you look out the window, you see the stars, and think about who is the light in your life. You think of your hopes, of what you could be if given the chance. Wondering about your life. Wondering about other peoples lives. Wondering if a certain someone is thinking of you, and realizing that, no, she's not. She's thinking of someone else, but you know why. Oh well, you sigh to yourself, and turn to something else. You start to ponder something else, and then- You fall asleep.

Snow

The winter snow falls down
White crystals filling the air
I'm walking through it
Thinking of you without a care
The ice she clings to my hair
And makes me cold outside
But my love is like a fire within
Thawing my frozen hide
I have to yell and shout suddenly
My thoughts of you overpowering me
I run through the woods
My heart bursting with the delight of life
I come out of the woods, a long way still to go
The wind kicks up, and so does the snow
It blocks my sight and makes me cold
Confuses me as where to go
But your fire that I hold inside
Will be my dancing tempting guide

A Call To Beloved

I die every night when I lay down to sleep
And miss your presence beside me
I cry and I weep when I wake from sleep
For the hurt that's inside me
I plead with my inside image of you
Plead with you to come back to me
I know this can never happen though
For you are happily unfree
Chained with bands of gold and jewels
To the man you love
I'd give up everything I own
To be that man you love
But to you I was just warmth to watch movies with
Not the answer to your wish
Oh how I want to call out to you
And tell you that you're my beloved
And if I broke the bands of gold
Which would mean breaking your happiness
Something I would never do
If only, if only
Then I would be loved

Sometimes a Lover, Sometimes in Pain

I'm looking for you
Well, not in particular
Just for someone to love
But in my heart I know it's true
You're the one I love
And I'm sliding down a steep slope
But you can stop my fall
I'm looking for love
But I just keep running into a wall
Oh save me, save me
You're my only hope now
You're my only hope now

Well, not true, I guess
For in this world all things pass
And perhaps it's just a petty human love
Of no concern to the sky above
Well nuts to the sky
Nuts to the cynics
I'd die for my love
Or give up my freedom at least
To be painfully honest
Usually the heart is weaker than the will
I hope that you won't draw bad conclusions
Because I know people don't like their honors shattered
Well, I don't mean to break anything
You don't do that when you're broken
And this poem is just avoiding
The words that I want spoken

On The Nature Of Good And Evil or Help! I Need Somebody

Pretend you come home, or wherever, only to find a friend or family member engaged in an unacceptable activity. Would you say what they are doing is evil? Maybe you replied yes to that question; maybe you didn't. If someone does something "bad" or "evil", is their only reason for doing it to be "bad" or "evil"? What if the want of something good makes a person turn to bad things? Perhaps you say that that situation cannot exist. Well, what if a person desperately needs love, but cannot for some reason or another find it? He or she might turn to drugs, or pornography, or something else to console his or her self. He or she probably doesn't want to engage in these behaviors; but to the person the temptation overwhelms them, because they believe they have no other place to turn to for comfort. They eventually begin to despise their own situation, which makes them less successful than they were before at getting whatever they needed. In response to this they unwillingly cling to their vice all the tighter. These people can't manage to help themselves; all they can manage to do is hurt themselves. If you know someone in trouble, do what you can to save them, because inside themselves they are saying "Help! I need somebody!" but they can't do a thing about it; it's up to you.