But As For Me

I will shave my head, I will change my name
I will bedeck myself in jewelry and not act the same
I will endure upheaval and change in a struggle for my name
I will cross roads a hundred times and see something new again

While the wind pounds at the windows of my home
I'll be hiding under a bush thirty blocks away
And while the sun fries the eyes of the blind
A church will be my dark cool refuge from the day

I'll seek out the weary and the shamed
The garbage members of society
And ask them what they do to survive
And learn what I can before I die

I will destroy the middleman
I will breath in through my own nose
No oxygen from pipes or pumps
No children-woven clothes

[I will drive on muddy roads
In places where yankees should not go
I will splash through water stained with oil and fear
And run towards what I know I must find]

Father's Day '08

We visited my grandpa in his nursing home today for Father's Day, and I was left alone with him for a few minutes while my dad went to go find my mom and sisters. My grandpa has had several strokes, and finds things like talking and remembering who people are difficult. I normally just sit off in the corner; I don't know what to say to him. But we had a brief conversation this time:

Me: "Hi grandpa."

Grandpa: "Yeah!"

Me: "Happy Father's Day!"

Grandpa: "Who are you?"

Me: "I'm Walter, Mark's son." *gestures down the hall toward where my dad went*

Grandpa: "Oh, okay." *smiles slightly*

He was looking directly into my eyes throughout all of this. It was unusual, I had not actually spoken to him and made direct eye contact for probably a year or more. From the look in his eyes, I could tell he was trying to place me. Or maybe he knew who I was, and was just...I don't know. I cannot guess at what he was thinking.

It occurred to me later that he had, in a way, returned to being a baby. He is no longer capable of feeding himself, dressing himself, even going to the bathroom by himself.

I'm sorry we never really got a chance to get to know each other, Grandpa. Happy Father's Day, though.