I Saved This As A Draft And Published It As A Failure

It's been a long long time since I've felt this
But the heat of hate is almost comforting
Sort of like an anti-bliss
A cardiac amputation
That leaves me gasping and in pain
But reassures me that I'm still alive (for now)
Now isn't the time for apologies and talks
Just for running away without saying goodbye
Even though I don't like leaving under the stare
Of eyes that plainly say, "die"

Running through the forest and field
Back to the sweet dream I once knew
I fall down the hill to the river below
My hope comes true; you came here too
But so did he
Penetrating my dream, and me
And simply one of his looks has shook
And broken, and frozen
My heart

This is the last time
This is my very last time
I said, this is the very last time
I'll let someone take my life
Don't say no when I ask why
This is the way things had to be