Slow Down, You Think Too Fast

last night I took a chair and sat out on the porch
and listened very carefully for the messages that the night shouts
they all told me "you aren't free"
I promised them I was, they whispered back, "you can't fool me"
I flashed on the yard light and shook my pale fist
who knew fresh air was so caustic to my ideas

and here is where my problem lies, my view's too wide, my gaze is too far
I can see the path right ahead of me, and around that corner, and over that hill
but the one I see ahead of me isn't the one I'll walk
now I see, now I can't see
and my verbosity falls on muteness, my hearing absorbs silence
the trail of my footprints making lines on inadequate

when can I dismiss the world mocking me in all its beauty and over-fatal majesty?
Gimmie a bottle so I can lose myself
Gimmie a place where my soul I can shelf
stupid awkward wording in that godforsaken line

the smell of the pain in my breath is sweeter than the sugar in all the lemon bars your grandma ever baked
happiness is transitory, depression is the pits
and f**k the world, f**k myself, beat this out, the sound of my living breath