My Child

he is thirty feet tall with skin like black granite
blocky and huge, 40 tons heavier than i'll ever be
and he says why can you not see that you are mine
you are my child
i say that i am never, will never be his
can't you see i'm not your child?

he is carved out of stone that was quarried in my soul
and he says, why can you not tell that you are indeed mine
you are my child
i own you and hold you
and keep your head bowed down
you will love me like a father
and i cry

why must you try to lie? i am not your child
you are mine, but only of me
you are mine, my child
my burden and my gloom
you cannot use me, when i made you myself
i am you and you are i
when will you see that you, you are mine, you are my child

and he laughs, and i struggle
to accept and control what is real what is here
find the border line between the awful person i am
and the things that i fear
he says take these problems and turn them to wine
break yourself of addiction, surrender entirely
for you are mine
my child

and i know not what to say
but i am not his, he is all mine
he is mine
my child
my cursed, dark, 30 foot child
watching me with eyes of stone
holding me out of my own home

[Author's Comment; "I see my own flaws in their most vivid form as a great stone child that threatens me. The nature of certain addictions and flaws of personality is to grow to a point where they seem to be more powerful than your own personality. As in, you are a mere coating on the addiction, your personality and identity are a garnish. It is a struggle to turn your point of view from being a growth on the dark addiction, to being a real person with worth who has a growth, a tumor growing on you."]