Do i look emo to you?

i'm running so fast i might get away
i might crash right through the "the end." that i can see coming up so soon
not soon enough, for us
i just wish you'd remembered, you're not the only one
in this relationship
you're not the captain and all the crew
on this ship
but i'm inviting you to try and read my heart
and tell me where we should go

so excuse me, if i ask you to take your hands off the wheel
i have a talent for reading maps and following directions
but you don't work that way
and i don't want this to happen this way
(the way it's already turning out)

don't tell me it gets easier when you fall in love
because it's like quicksand; the harder you try to get out of it
the more it sucks
and the deeper you fall
it's so easy to notice the bad, and the good is too easy
too easy to forget

come on, make your decision
there isn't a right one you can make, so just hurry up
'cause it doesn't really matter
whichever way you throw my life off track is fine by me
i'm almost sure i don't want you as an enemy
but with you it always goes too far

Another poem about Fall and Time and Love and crap like that

i'm gonna confess, i don't know how to manage my life
and i have no idea who has the trademark on my mind
but i have a feeling it isn't me
is it you dad?
is it the baron of inconsistency
or the enemy of decency

now let's not pretend we don't know where this is going
right toward a messy collision
how come having fun is such a headache?
and how come it's so hard to have
or keep
this sucks
what's holding it all together?
it's not me, that's for sure

sometime after she saw through all the lies i'd said
(which, funnily enough i thought were true)
and i watched the sunset from a support underneath the bridge
i realized that too much time had passed
and the tree we'd carved our names into had died at last
like everything comes to pass...
i won't see you later, but i had a blast

as the goodbyes linger
upon the crisping autumn air
i can't forget the taste of time gone by
or the color, the feel, the scent of her hair

Late nights spent on a poem-site

oops, i think i might have done the same old thing again
blown up in the face of water
and the only person who could put me up and out
if i can get out of this town before that happens again
i just might be okay

how do you keep all your friends?
how do you afford all the expenses
that come with being a nice guy and always happy
like inside jokes and showing up on time
like saying her poem is fine, even though she has no idea how to rhyme
remember me?
that kid that blew you off when you tried to be friends
that was just another episode in the Season Two (that never seems to end)

Lies and cries (that's you)

what are you doing
lies can't teach me how to live
nor breaches of trust, or punches to the face
i have some news for you
my love died today
just went and up and blew its brains out into the bay
now the body is all that's left now
begging for everything, especially tickets for a train
to make it out of this city of pain
or just a ride over to your apartment to talk things out

actually, i just want you to get off of my case
i don't know if i can do it by myself
but i don't have any friends to help me
i'll just bite my lip and black my eyes
press the eject button and blast off to paradise

"but you can't make this go away, detective"
don't you tell me how to live

Good morning! here's phone so you can call in sick!

i can't remember falling asleep
so i'm not sure if i'm really waking up
or if that was just another sleepless night

my spine is bent, my neck is crooked
as the clock ticks on, i want my mom
or somebody to tell me it's okay

but i have to get up by myself
dim apartment, aching head
pressure pounding; am I dead?

or just making my way like i do every day
simultaneously everywhere and nowhere

living far too far past the point of

Everything's messed up, but everything's alright

you were my sweetest mistake
my favorite downfall
the sweet smelling emotional suicide
the best way to break my heart

but will i ever mention you?
when i talk about the people who were dear to me
i loved you, but that was a long time ago
before i went to bed and went to sleep
to dream and pretend i wasn't hurt
by the words i couldn't get out of my head
you were my greatest downfall
the biggest mistake i was ever glad to make
the only thing upon which i could break

will i wake to see the light
will i find that it's still night
will i cry when i remember what happened
do i have any reason to cry at all
do you?
the stars are brighter than i ever knew they were
burning through the sky
the moon is a pale imitation of a heart
illuminating the lonely road i'm on

i guess it was the same one all along

Da na na na

somedays i don't feel like dancing
those days i just smile and try to stay in time
i cannot believe them when they say i'll be okay
someone i trusted in tells me that it'll come out okay
okay, okay, okay, i've had enough with okay
i'm not feeling okay, i don't want it to be okay
just forget it. i don't care about it
i don't even know what the "it" we're talking about is
but i'm willing to bet i don't care

i just lost a bet
because i do care
i care about all the children growing up in broken homes
i care about all the withered trees without any water
about the fish in the sea
the birds in the sky
and you and i and myself and why do you wear sweaters no matter the weather?
she's a girl from the wrong side of the train tracks
growing up inbetween the huge homes and rich girls
who couldn't say they love you because they don't really care

Poets don't know it's all a game...

have you had dreams you'd care to forget?
i've had hallucinations that make me feel like-
probably because I'm afraid of the dark
and afraid of being alone
and afraid of damn near anything
like the silhouette in the doorway
that i can't quite make out
maybe that's a dream too (i hope)

you get used to the nightmares after a while
well, of course you would, they're happening to me
anyway, it's a lifetime guarantee
that i don't really know and probably won't find
exactly what i've always wanted

give me something that i need
satisfaction or at least something that won't bleed
kiss me right where it hurts
devastating the only hope that i was using
the hope that i could teach myself not to feel
to never love, hate, cry or laugh for any reason
truely. i guess i was lost. without a warning sound

I'm so cool, it's like my heart's frozen.

i'm sitting here drafting a new version of my heart
because my love emailed me a letterbomb and blew the old one all apart
i'm still tripping over broken bits and memories
when i toss them in the furnace i get bloodstains on my hands
maybe i'm supposed to be missing you
maybe i'm supposed to be a lot of things
like fidelity and honesty
and chivalry and love
and love
and love

i don't know how to tell you that i wished we were friends
or at least lovers
back-seat-kissers
(maybe this is a joke)
(maybe i don't care that this isn't something to joke about)
i've never been able to stop laughing
i made a joke about 9/11 after it happened
i was unused to tragedy
i've wised up good now
and am on close terms with a sense of doom
and hugs that bleed all over your clothes
and i've finally figured out that friends you can count on
and lovers you can count on to stab you in the back

I Was Only Loaning You Everything I Ever Did

Every single kiss I gave to every single girl
All alone under the starry night sky
I take them all back, because now I know
This is where I belong, here where I am
Every single kind word, whispered in a lover's ear
I'm taking them all back, because it's impossible to live
Or breath, if I know you're still counting them as true
Just give back all the rings, and all the pretty things
I bought every one of you
Give me back the memories, so I can burn them all
I know where I am is where I'm supposed to be
So don't fight, don't fool around, don't question me
You're too blinded by your happy endings to see that I'm right

I Can't Think Of Any Reasons For You To Get Out Of My Life, But I Guess You Did

I can see that you've lost me
I haven't heard from you in what seems like weeks
(You said you'd call every day
That you'd never leave or go away)
Well what's this? it's your absence
It hurts, even though it makes me come alive
Or dead, by now I can't really tell the difference

Even if you don't call tomorrow
And your letters never arrive
Even if my inbox is always empty
And I never hear from you again
I'll still be looking for a reason not to give up hope
And I'll never lose it, that reason is you

(It's another night spent under a bridge
Looking at where we carved our names into a tree
Reliving all the places where we were once alive
I can't tell anymore if I'm drowning in my love for you
Or just drowning in a lack of getting it back)

A Starry Night, In Blue

It's kinda sad, and a little upsetting
Knowing that no matter when I check
She won't be there
2 AM, and my inbox is empty
Like it was yesterday, and will be tomorrow
Even if I could make the stars fall
And kill the day with a word
I don't think I could find you
I've lost you too many times

As the computer starts to shut down
The darkness aches into my eyes
My apartment's shut up in shadow
Looking out the window, I see that half the city can't sleep
Who are you? sleepless people
Why are you still awake?
Are you trying to remember who you had
And what you did
Memories are good, it's true
But photographs are better, you can burn them if you need to

It's been such a long time now, I guess you're not coming home
But I'm still waiting to talk to you again
Maybe it's pathetic to still be waiting after 5 years
And even more after 17
But let me tell you, after a while
You get beyond frustration
And just start to fade away
Girl, I'll always still love you
I'll never go away

I see your face all through every day, and i can't remember your name, but we're happy so it's all okay

"There's five reasons why you saw me standing outside your window last night
But I can't remember any of them except for "I love you"
That's the excuse that I feel I can trust
I just don't know if I can trust who I'm excusing myself from"

i wrote that poem a long time ago
and for some stupid reason i copied it down onto the back of a photograph of us
hidden in the back of a set of drawers your aunt gave us
who thought we'd grow up and make memories
like the ones we recall these days
you and me, and the rest of the gang
running loose through the night
the joy and freedom was contagious
like a disease that uprooted you from your roots
and sent you tumbling through the air
who would have thought it
you landed next to me
all worn out and out of breath
you landed next to me

I'm Leaving Home In Three Weeks, And You're Deciding To Come Back In 4

I've heard God has a plan for everything
And I have a feeling that that's true
I just have to say, I hope the one that says "everything dies"
Doesn't apply to you
Because to me, that'd be way too cruel
To take what makes life worth living
And hiding it in death
What would happen to the happiness?
The innocence it held?
The world that used to be held so calmly in her hands

And the reason that these words come so easy
Is because fear of loneliness is one of the fears I find so hard to face
Offer whatever help you can, I'll take what I can get
And leave what I can't forget

But what about the plans that we had...?
And how you had said you were so glad to hold me in your arms once more
Good bye isn't what I want to hear
Even though it's what's sticking to our lips
And what we need to say
I guess it's time to go

Can You Hear The Revolution?

Life is unpredictable, even in the best of times
But in the end it always turns out right
I hope you had a good time in your life

Because the sun is baking my face
Staring down on this miserable place
Hot in the sun, I'm coming undone
Or at least the buttons to my shirt are
Believe me, I've done this all before
The tired, baggy eyes
The messed up, fumbled lies
It's something I've seen happen so many times
Where love is the biggest of all bombs
And you have to be sure to stand back and cover your eyes when it detonates

Although, if you're asking for reasons why I shouldn't
Nothing comes to mind
I'm a good boy-rebel, I'm pretty much a saint
I've got a lot saved up in the karma bank, and for spending it, well
I don't want to wait
I want to sing a melody, a changing of our lives
A defeating of the old guard, and the baptising of the new
Living with out warning or boredom; I am, how about you?

And You Gave Up On Me Anyway

I take pills even though they're not what I need
All the warnings and alerts I'm too tired to heed
From my head to my stomach, I'm sick and on the run
Sometimes it just hurts so much
I have to sit, and dream alone

And the sunset is sinking in the sky
I'm feeling like I'm watching some small, vital part of me die
Like my heart, or something else I keep inside
Maybe my soul is coming apart
Splitting into two
Can that happen? are the stories true?

Keep me safe, inside your heart
Don't let the world tear me apart
Sacrifice yourself to keep me alive
Because throughout all the crowded rooms there isn't anyone who cares
Or would listen to my pleas, concealed inside whispered dares

Well, now I'm on the borderline
Of insanity and my mind
Who can fix what's broken inside?
My shattered heart is slowly beating
Up against my broken ribs
My tattered lungs are sorely breathing
My eyes feel like they're being pushed out from inside
And my ears are buzzing

Is this what love feels like?
Am I really happy?
I don't know, and I don't care
Just somebody help me
Somebody help me

(warning; I am not actually depressed, just in a slightly bad mood/listening to emo music)

Like A Book Left In The Rain, Erasing Before Its Eyes (That's You & I)

She is one extraordinary girl
And she hurts and breaks his world
He heard her crying out for someone to save her
But she pushed him away, saying
"No, you're not the guy I want
He's over there; see him?"
Well, he doesn't know quite what he's found
And she doesn't really know what she's turning down

Oh, and he
He's an ordinary boy
Or so he seems to everyone
Except himself, inside
He's hiding something big, but he doesn't
Actually know what he hides
A perfect kiss, on her perfect lips
The perfect thing to stop a heart's apocalypse

She left him alone again
Sometimes he gets so sick of crying
And lying that he's okay, and she doesn't have to call
Every single night. he gets to the point where
He almost feels like dying
And thinking that starts off the crying
Because she left him alone again
The extraordinary girl and the ordinary boy
Who's just trying to make himself worthy;
It's a difficult ploy.

But on the other hand, she has no idea she's such an extraordinary girl
In the eyes of the ordinary boy
She leaves him alone, so she can wipe the tears from her eyes
And pretend she was never crying
They don't see what they need is each other
Well, she doesn't see, and he won't say
What's in their hearts and minds
This ordinary boy and extraordinary girl

Not Titled Yet...

Alright, so...
Maybe I am crazy.
Maybe we're both crazy, or we're just falling behind
On our plan on how to break out of this no-star town
What happened to those good old days? when we didn't know "love" meant
And the stars never refused to shine
What's going on? when I wake up what will I find?

You're the teenage queen and the chosen one
I'm the desperate hero with the loaded gun
And we're both just trying to hold on for as long as we can
Before they take back all the hopes we had borrowed that night
(That was so long ago, I can barely remember)

But wait!
It was 1993, and you and me
We were at a party, it was a summer Tuesday night
And with the stars overhead and my hand in yours
I could have sworn everything was gonna come out right
And maybe it was just the light, but your eyes went on for infinity
And they stabbed right through me
I guess it hurt, but still; ecstasy

And even though it's been so long
When I read the words you write at night
Shivers slide down my spine

This Isn't An Epic, I Just Don't Know When To End Things

Dearly beloved, are you listening?
My heart is hurting me, I can barely say a thing
I wish I could help you now, I've done it before
But it's tough when I'm living at death's door

And right now I'm the center of attention
You're the core of what's wrong with me
A melody that's too addictive
I can't stop humming it to take time to live

Oh, my darling, tell me you're listening
I have a feel this is the last song I'll sing
Please, save me honey
Kiss me and tell me you won't let me go
I have a hunch death is something love can help me avoid

Okay, forget this, no one's listening
There are no hands waving in the air, cause no one seems to care
That I'm shouting my heart out, and shredding my soul
Just to make an impression and capture hearts

Ahhh, never mind
I know that there's someone listening
And hanging onto every word
I wonder which ones she's heard?
(Have you been there all the time?)

I guess it's time I get my heart attack fixed
It'll just take a kiss upside the head
Or a smack right on the lips
I've been so happy so see you here with me
Tell it to me again girl; what's your name?

I read poetry hidden in the graffiti
Inside the bathroom stall
Signs and sighs are the same thing more often than people realize
And I don't care, no I don't care
I don't care, (so I tell myself)
You don't care, no you don't care
You don't care (that's what I tell myself)

Sometimes I feel so full of it
All the crap that's supposed to be creativity

**********

Dearly beloved, I hope you're listening
'Cause I've meant you to hear this song
And like it a whole lot
Is there some kind of beacon, a rallying point
We can try to avoid?
Something that'll turn them off but switch us on
Something that looks like "run, run away"
But really says "come, come and stay"
I'm glad that you're in the audience
Taking in my words, listening
Heck, I've been singing this all for you

Inbetween Summer, Love, Music and Life, There's No Way Innocence Can Last

Look baby, here comes the rain again
Drenching me in all my fear and pain
Maybe, baby, we could just go to sleep right here
And it'll be warm and dry when we awake
Then we'll know who we really are

Summer has come again
And finally killed my innocence at last
How did this all come to pass?
How could I let everything happen
Inspite of all my fears?
Is it just an unstoppable change
A signal of the years?

I love you girl
And for what you're worth
You're worth it, however short a while
You're worth a sea of gold or a forest of diamonds
If it's just one night or an eternity of days
If it all works out, will we watch our lives on a screen
And never once cringe, or feel a single thing?

Would you listen all night long
To the ravings of a poet or a genius?
I have a feeling you would if it was me
If you felt like raving, I'd let you too
And we could pretend to be crazy at two in the morning
Staying crazy all night until the sun comes up
And having a lazy day
Appreciating who we are
And what we're doing here

Like all things come to pass
I'll wait until you give in at last
Just wake me up before my freedom ends
Because while I'd love to be here so we can pick up on this whenever you choose
Time will move on, and I can't get left behind
You're not the only thing I love
But one of them I love the dearest
Time is jerk, and moves too fast
I think my love could last
What about yours? do you think you could drag it out
So we could see how far we get?

How should I end this?
Is the right ending "summer came and summer passed
and took love right with it
It ended before it ever began"?
Or maybe
"Summer came and summer passed
She woke me up before Fall had a chance to end"
Here comes the rain again
Falling from my eyes
The innocence dies from all the pain
Of feeling what it wasn't meant to feel
Just wake me up before my life ends
I'm giving you years to come
So just wake me up, give me a nudge
And tell me to come out

(Here comes the stars again
Shining from your eyes
Overloading my memory
Resetting it so I don't remember what I've lost)