Wondering about things or Things about wondering

Hm. Well, I'll have to face it. Tonight I killed Jack. Captain Jack Sparrow. My friends and family will know what I mean. But for the rest of you, I'll explain. I used to do a Captain Jack impression that rivaled Johnny Depp's (or I like to think it did.) But anyway, this night I was in full flow. I had a bandanna, tri-corner hat, unmarked bottle full of cider and a cork stuck into the bottle. But then certain of my "friends" started to knock me down and steal the hat, the bandanna, the bottle and the cork. After a while I had had enough of their harassment, and I tried to make them stop, but they refused to. I made a fatal decision. I decided to kill Jack. I took a plastic pirate gun, put to my temple, said my last goodbye in Jack's voice, walked away and shot myself. I fell to the ground, then got up and Jack was no more. Maybe some day, when the third movie comes out, and I see how and if he comes back, I'll wake him up, but for now... Goodbye Jack. It was fun.

Strange really. You don't think about life until it nails you in the face, knocks you to the ground and spits on you. But when it does, you get up, and realize that there's no going back. It's all over really. If your life before was great, or if it was horrible, it's gone. The change can be a "good" or "bad" thing, but it will still turn you upside down. Meeting someone that catches your heart and won't let go, even though you've already dedicated it to someone else. Finding out a friend is in the hospital with a terminal illness. Change. It happens. And you better flow with the punches or you'll be lying on the ground gasping, and you may never get up. Change. It kills. It kills the old you, and you can't do a single %@#$ thing about it. Makes a new you, sure, but that takes a while to get used to. Makes you want to lie down in the grass and close your eyes and let the sunshine wash over you, while the sunflowers nod their pretty heads above you, and you talk with the person you love, and tell them how you feel with words of beauty... Yeah, like that'll ever happen. A more realistic paradise would be sitting on the curb at night while a cold wind blows, with the street light glowing above you, sitting with the person who doesn't know you love her, and talking about anything but what you want to. Sometimes your view of the world can change everything, most often the world just goes on and doesn't give a dime or even a penny for your thoughts and views. Pretty useless, in a pretty way. Angst is real; deal with it.