I'm Praying Through The Headache For The Strength To Give Up

I'm going to try this again
And hope it goes right this time
"I love you", whoever you are
Or whoever you claim to be

Ok, good good, we're getting to the point
I'm here to tell you I love you
You're here to hear, and listen to everything I say
Like I'm Jesus preaching to everyone in the world
I only aim to be one of the top three things you're staying alive for
Is that too much to ask, my beautiful little tempest?

Good Lord, you'd think I could make this thing rhyme
Or at least make a lick of sense
Instead I'm just stealing lines from a million other poets
And pretending I live in a fantasy world where the sun always shines
And lollypops and fairys and rainbows dance through the woods

I can tell what you're thinking by the way
The way you look at me and blush when I see you
I've not enough shame to blush when I imagine you undressed
You know that I'm the bad guy, right? because the sweetest talkers
And the most graceful walkers
Are the ones you have to watch out for
And if you think I'm the perfect mate for your soul
Be afraid, I probably faked it

Hearts Beaten, Faster, Faster

It's about time I chimed in with a "no one cares anymore"
As if there wasn't enough depressing junk in the world
Before I decided to write this poem

When I wake up every morning
I have no idea who I'll find in the passenger seat
With her arm around me
But the biggest thrill of the chase is whispering in your ear
And feeling your heart race faster
Faster

And touching your shoulder, your arm, your hand
No, I think the biggest thrill in this chase is
Most probably the part where I blow your mind
Because you've never been this close to anyone in public before
And I can't stand to not make you sweat
It's such a joy to know I'm the one making your heart beat
So fast
So fast

Let's try this again
I move from your shoulder to your hand
Back up your arm, and up to your face
And let's not have a slap this time
You know you want me, what's behind those stained-glass windows
In my eyes
So don't try to hide it from this untestable boy
You hard-living girl

My least favorite kill in this chase
Was the part where I went into shock
And you left me with my brain shutting down
But when you crawl into your cold bed five minutes after midnight
I know the sound of my breath as I stand in your closet is the thing
That's making your heart beat faster
Oh so faster

I'd Have Something To Tell You, If You'd Care To Pay Attention

I swear to shake your life up
If you swear to pay attention
I'm far too young to have this kind of addiction
And I bet you'd try to gouge out my eyes
If you knew what they said, all the different kinds of lies


I'm all shaken up
And you could tell if you looked close
And payed attention
I'm just a boy who's too young to tell
The difference between wisdom and a last chance at redemption

My hands are shaking
And I wonder if you can do secret things for attention
I just want someone to listen
And give me her affection
But I think there's something my eyes forgot to mention

I'll shake up your world if you swear to listen
Make all your dreams, if not truth, more than fiction
And I can claim to be
The miracle cure for people who are lonely just like me

I throw sad lines at you
Hoping you'll be impressed
While others throw their cheaply perfumed selves at me
Hoping to find me undressed
It's always the same, always old
No one tries anything new

Come Saturday I'll find a new way
Something to bust out of the old cliches
Because for some reason, without me noticing
None of these poems really seem to live

I don't fight fair, because I don't care
And nothing means everything like winning does
An angry mood fits a life led in the dark
I'll trap and execute these feelings, in dark, secret places
Where no one will hear them scream

This Poem Was Written With Poise, Rationality, And Most Especially Desperation For A Hug

I have a question for everyone who's ever taken breath
Or stolen it from right out of my mouth
Can't you ever learn how close the door on reality?
In fact, why don't you just close the door to your heart
And I can seal it in an envelope and send it off to oblivion
Or burn all your hopes and dreams just to keep myself warm

What a shame you never even understood the fact that I would have
Cut off someone else's left hand for you
This is such a moody poem, you'd think I was scared
Scared of telling you who I am
Well, no one wants to do it more than me to do it to you
The greatest piece of meaning I've ever meant to say
Shot to be a number one hit in one of the lower levels of hell
The dead love love of the living
And I'd die for the love of life
I think it's time to close this door

Next time you take a breath, remember someone else wasn't so lucky
And forget the security of lying in bed holding hands with your wife
People die at the worst moments, from kicking the bucket at places from
Weddings to funerals
Why don't you just take the ring, I know from what he did last Saturday
That to him it never meant a thing
Just chuck him in the hole with the other guy
I don't think anyone here really cares anymore

It Only Gets Harder To Be Respected, If Everyone Knows You're Right

Last summer I scored "good" all across the board
But by last fall, I was a fallen ace
A bruised and broken dream
Through the winter I watched the ice creep
All through the windows in my eyes
Every day, in the newspaper, the cover story claimed to be
"Young, Smart Boy, Cannot Find His Enemy"


Well, you're all just breathing water
And I join you, though it's making me a clown
'Cause I'm the only one who knows he's drowning
Even though my voice just spills and makes no sound
Some say if you rhyme a poem, it loses all its soul
Well, I say that a rhyme-less poem
Just rasps out what is not whole

Now I don't mean to hurt you
I just want to live
But it's so hard to play the game
When all you want to do is give
Just give everyone else victory
And let them win the game
Though to the rules, that is not fair
That's losing, acting lame
I know this makes no sense
But I've done the best I can do
It hurt me to write this, dear reader, just as much
As it hurts you.

Hearts Beat In Union With The Dissonance

This is a love letter to my heart's one true enemy
The one who can always strike it down just a look of the eye
I cried on your couch till I woke the house up
And when I had to explain why I was there,
The poet and hypnotist in me was laid bare
I was lost and won and lost again, like a crown or an island
Still my heart beats, though by all rights it's a dead heart

And my all wrongs are set apart
From all the deeds I didn't do, and all the loves I thought were true
This bullet, dear, I dedicate to you
The powder smells as the bullet tears through the roof
I smell like a sinner, low and aloof
And this letter still writes itself, though by all rights
It's just something I'll put back on the shelf

I'm Reading About The After-Life, When I Should Be Working On This One

Shouldn't I know by now that poems are just a headless hammer?
A failed and broken cure for growing older?
All they're good for is showing everyone the way the poets are
Even my best rhymes can't cover it up
Can't cover it up
But I still say
Give me two more weeks and ten Saturday's
And I swear I'll make everything feel ok
I think you're showing me open doors
But the key is still in the lock, and I have no idea if they're open-ended...

On a summer day, you and me
Making our own paradise
But not the one that really matters
I smile when I think of my accidental genius
And frown at all my goodly contrived mistakes
I'm trying to cast off the skeletons on my back
Just remember to remind me why we came before the last song plays

...

Well, that was a nice poem. I think that it's funny, how often I write. I hear lots of good things about my work, but...Sometimes to me it seems like I'm just massproducing sentiment. Is it still meaningful if there's a million other near-copies of the work? Is it still possible to be original, in a world like the one we have today, where the Internet spreads everything out over the entire Earth? Can people still come up with some sacred scrap of cleverness? Am I being original, or just lying in a new way? I don't know. I just don't know. And I don't think I'm anywhere near to figuring it out. So until I do, or don't, I'll just sit here, typing on my keyboard, cranking out hopes, dreams, and words that other people don't have the strength or natural wit to speak.

I still have far to go...I haven't published anything yet. I'm sitting here in my tiny, rented room in the metropolis of the Blagosphere. And what am I doing? Whispering to the world. I really should try to get some of this between the covers of a book. There's far more out there then just a network of blogs....maybe I should try aiming for success in the real world, the one where you live and die. Well, dear audience, back to the play...

...

Is my heart a little more than you bargined for?
I can tell you wanted a cat, but you got a lion
You're taking yourself down, and dragging everyone with you on your way up
There's a loaded gun in the closet, and the crowd in the theater says
"Don't pull it, don't pull it"
Well, you make another notch in the wall to tell the time
But it's seven o'clock according to your watch
If almost none of my metaphors and witticisms make sense
I guess, incoherently enough, I'm still making myself known
Even if it's only through mystery, like why I'm listening to the same song
Three times in the half hour

Abthirdly Personal

Could you love a man
Who loves with a diamond?
A hard jewel he holds
In the palm of his hand
He's luckier than most
He can take his heart right out of his chest
And look at it
And he sees a man, who has a heart of diamond
He sees it reflected, in the palm of his hand

Would you believe me if I told you
He doesn't want to hurt anyone?
Maybe you could believe something like this
"He just wants to get along, to actually be friends
You know, the kind that never ends
He just wants to say what he really means
And wait for an hour, or more
Just to see her once again"

He'd pick you up when if you went down
If you're knocked down
He's just the one to get you on your feet again
And, he just wants you to know
He lives his life, just dancing on
Hoping all the time for a partner to join him
For just the very next song

Not For The Boys

I've got a question for the person on the street
Who picked up my heart as she walked by
A motion so automatic, she didn't even notice as she did it
Neither did I
So here's my question, that I have to ask
Who are you? where are you?
Do you have space in your heart for a traveler and his pack
Full of things that he'd much rather lack
Broken pieces of dreams once held dear
Crumbs of love, smashed and spoiled
And stupid metaphors such as this?
I'm just another sunken-eyed fool
Searching for bliss
And this, and this
This looks a lot like bliss, even though it's you
So I guess not bliss, just a care-worn happiness
The kind that feels good when you crawl under the sheets after a long
Hard day
And I don't honestly know if I'll ever be that way
And I also don't know if I'm scaring you with these words
If I were me, you, my reader, were she
Would you run and hide from the dark, wild passion inside
Such a youthful, well-spoken, well-read boy?

(But maybe this doesn't really matter, anyway
But then nothing would matter at all, in any single way)

I S Wnt T Lv Y, Thgh t Nvr Wrks t Rght

I never know how to start a poem without diving into sentiment
So I've started it with these pointless lines
So now, introduction aside
You might read this and wonder, "if he's so taken by me
Why hasn't he called? why hasn't he told me?"
Well, you know I would have
But I've got a lousy arm when it comes to throwing caution to the wind

I'm giving up on myself as we speak
And making a comeback as we part
I hope someday someone will give me the chance to figure myself out
Baby, I hug your image, in my head
And stuff the other side of the bed
I make the Sign of the Cross, touch my heart and hope to die
With a shard from your heart in my eye
And life is a long song, and mine is on on repeat
When I think of all the cliched lines I use to try capture hearts
It makes me want to cry, because I'm such a sensitive man

I'm perfectly aware that things aren't the same anymore
But I try to keep the reality away from my heart
Because it's bad for the resale value if it falls apart
I'd trade my sad-boy blues for your wide-eyed happy girl browns
And give up my anger and frustration for the sigh of contentment
I could pull from the lips of you

Could It All Just Last Until The Stars Burn Out?

I look at you from my sunken-eyes chair
Smell your perfume on the breeze and taste the wind in your hair
And wonder, you and me; could we last?
Could we taste something so sweet
Could we dissolve into a future past?

And these are just the lovesick moanings
Of a lonely boy with a heart of gold
And a gilted tongue of elegance
Don't you know that I'm only a stitch in time away from you
A single life that wants to prove that it's true
And I carry a scar in the shape of a knife
Men go, get wives
And then waste their life

Could we last?
Could these words actually be spoken?
Could love make its move once again?
Cupid stole my heart
And left it shot in a ditch
And I know that if this sob of a poem catches your ear
Then you must be desperate
Just like me

I just want to tell you that when I see your face
My blood pump bangs and breaks
Blood cells cry for emotion shed
In the form of chemicals and tears
I wonder if you know that your touch upon my arm
Is all my eyes need to dilate

Could we last?
Could love if we did?
Could I if they didn't?
Isn't it better to feel like it's love that killed you
Rather than a lifelong fall?

Memory For Me

The smoothness and grace
Of my hand on your face
The best times always happen when the parting is forever
And you'll always be the person in my dreams
I'll keep your memory, wherever you roam
Far away from me, farther still from home
If you lose yourself in foreign lands
If cold sleet or hot wind bite or burn your perfect hands
I will remember you

And I'll remember you though nations fall
And anarchy envelops us all
I'll be remembering you even as stars fall from the sky
While ice freezes the tears of all those who cry
For the world, and the paradise
And loves such as you and I

I'll remember you, because of compassion
But you'd stay in my mind either way
For the subtle way you've crept inside my heart
Shows me that your soul longs for comfort (which I cannot give
But I'll do my best to shield you) just like everyone else
And the ice is thin, nothing but a mirror
Between people like you, and me
Shivering, shaking, for your memory
I'm blinded by the Light of God
And no more have I strength to waste
As the sun sets for the final bow
I know not where you are, now
But your memory is in my mind
Even as I begin to climb
That long, long golden ladder

Departure From Style

i know you listened at the door
hand ice cold upon the floor
you couldnt not listen to the lies
with tears in your eyes, you took my words
ones that werent meant to be heard
you weep for the love you thought was lost
and for the heart, cruelly tossed
dont you know i still love you
and always will through thick and thin
right from thought, down through my skin

Something Good, If It Comes

The tv's on, but nobody's watching
And you turned me on, but you're not watching
You're not taking advantage of the state I'm in
Not choosing to lead me down any path, be it paradise or sin
I'm naked in the snow, you took my clothes away
And left me bare to all
With just a slight scrap of my illusions to keep the cold at bay
Just put me out of my misery
Shoot me in your special way
Love me, leave me
Which is better than having never been loved at all
Take me drinking, I want to drown my sorrows down

You're more experienced than me
You're the cat, and I'm the mouse
And you play with me, oh so gently
Coming close enough to feel me tense
Bath me with your breath
But never breaking skin
You know? this is really something
You're screwing me up, messing with my head
Violence is one more matter of the heart
And you, you're really something

Oh, The Cold, And Oh, The Snow

This is what they brought me
Wrapped in silk and silence
Sing of what you can never understand
Signs of darkness, sighs of light
Look into my eyes and see the locks laid there
See what stirs in my mind as I lay me to sleep
Mysterious but true, I'll never leave you
And now you can wonder if that's a blessing or a curse

Ice, snow and wind are embedded in my soul
It's carved with patterns old as time
Old as stories by the fire
For years untold I, my ancestors walked in the cold
Grew strong with the snow, grew old with the cold
Cold
Love my body, darling
Hug me close, hold me tight
But don't try to solve the cold inside
It's something you can neither banish nor hide
Just live with the knowledge that is greater than me

I'll give the cold in my eyes
You give yourself to sleep in the cold and the dark
With me
This is a promise of my heart of diamond
And a promise of your life of gold

On Success (or) Under Failure

The success that some people strive for is very different from what others long for. Same for failure. For some people success is a momentary feeling that everything is all-right, everything is ok for the moment. For others success is growing old and being able to care for their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren while living comfortably. How do they achieve their seperate ideals? Some can succeed by doing as little as picking out the perfect music to cure their bad or restless mood. Others find success by closing huge business deals. Giving hugs completes other people, while some get that good feeling by punishing bad guys. Shouting out with expression, (i.e. poetry, music) and getting a positive response works very well too. <;) Loving a person, helping them feel good. All of these things can help people get on top of success.

Failure. Something I'm in a good mood, and so don't really want to write about. Let's just say that it's when you've regressed on the path towards what you want. Or when you set your expectations so low that you don't need to work to get to them.

Well, I'll write more later. I'm off to go succeed.

Venus De Milo Couldn't Spare A Dime For Another Ten Minutes On The Parking Meter

The crowd waits to see what he'll do
Watches him exposed, nothing but bare
Like a butterfly stuck and pinned up there
A wonderful example of "gone to pot"
Few love him, some hate him
Most don't care; quite a lot
But summertime leaves all the leaves in the trees
Strangers with knives hold hugs for you and me
And it's hard to believe inspiration can lie
And it's easy to believe that I don't often try
Till suffocation makes me desperate, and onions make me cry
I smile, as I look you in the eye
And gesture at the dance floor, the fiddle starts away
Gone for a moonlight trip, a wet-grass slip
And we'll never be exactly the same as we were five seconds ago
Gramophone blues, it's all old news
And the ice in the window crawls into the inside
Crawls like death in cold-ish form
"Fill out our forms, and we'll send you to die
It's what we do, though we don't know why"
Sweet baby dream, growing up fast
Time in bed never lasts
You can't dream your way to infinity, only to tomorrow
You're the ice-cube in my glass
I'm the windows in your past

(I'm in your past, as time goes by
It's what I do, though I don't know why)

To The Young Man Building A Castle Round His Heart, Can You Lend A Trusting Ear?

A crack of a gun at the crack of dawn
A father lies, and so does his son
Staying the light, for a year or a day
They're fit for war, and so for peace
But a piece of plaster comes falling down
And splits on the stage, no one notices the sound
In the rushing and confusion
Of life's long improvised play

But my hero returns, knight gone back to the night
But I waited for you a year, I waited a day
And the bells didn't sound and the sun didn't rise
I couldn't lift my lonely shameful eyes
But I cried for the poets sent off to die
And I shed tears for the brave boys who felt they had to try
Only when the piper piped on his flute
Did I raise my head, it was an absolute
Disaster

Disaster, said he
Disaster, replied she
"We grow up not knowing who we are
Only knowing that we'll never know until it's too late
To apologize to all the lost loves and lovers lost
But we hang our head and its ache
As we pick up the dead and break
The stalemate of life, and the deadlock of strife
I take you, young lady, as my wife"
The ring upon the sun marks the exact, precise nature of all your fears
(Rhymes give you strength to face the day
Though no one knows why they work that way)

Welcome, Welcome, One And All To Walter's Literary Circus!

I'd like to start a new tradition here, at my wee bloggy blog. Guest Writer! If you write, be it full length novels, short stories or poems, Send me an example! Just email what you want posted with whatever info you feel is needed (name for you and title for piece are mandatory) and I'll put it up. However, each person only gets one guest write (I might occasionally ask for more, though <;). I'm looking forward to this new thingy-ma-bobber. I think it'll create a little, shall we say, "community" here. <8) Well, that's all for now...