Usually I'm okay but sometimes my mind kinda spins kinda wanders out of control and I don't know where you are but I know you're okay I hope you're okay I hope you're alright nothing's happening, I hope nothings happening, but I'm sure something's happened oh God no God no no no- And my mind just drops just falls just flies right away and I can't grab it or catch onto it or hold it in place or anything, it just disappears and I don't know what it's doing where it is but it hurts it's making me sick I'm sick and everything just feels dim you know? Dim? Like, it's, you know not quite there no it is there but you can't change it it's just a backdrop you're etched into you're just an etching you're nothing but a little scratch on a wall and I'm stuck I can't breath move I can't move from where I am and suddenly I'm still frozen paralyzed but suddenly I break through and cry and freeze again with tears on my face as the world outside growls at me it growls and I know it'll bite me, it's going to bite me, don't let it bite me.

Please, baby...Please.

This will not last nearly long enough.

The party was just worth it for the few minutes on your porch
All alone with just you and the world
The murmur of our voices is kind of like a careless sleeve on a wet canvas
Blurring and smearing the scenery
Making everything a little stranger and more different than it was already
It's a few minutes after 1:30, I should probably be going home
I think about asking if I could have the couch, but I don't yet know you well enough for that
So I groan and get up, say it's time I hit the road
And you smile sadly and wave goodbye with two fingers
In retrospect I probably could've stayed the night if I'd've been bold enough

All that's keeping me up is the hardness of the concrete sidewalk
I can just make out the glow of your cigarette as I turn the corner
Like the stilling of your addiction as you inhale the smoke
This won't last
It just won't last

Whirlwind Roma(Maturation)nce.

It was her day, but it was not freely given. While the pews were packed with friends and relatives, they were also filled with whispers and rumors. "I just cannot see them together for more than a week." "Did you know that they just met a few days ago?" "She's making a mistake.."

She smiled nervously as the pastor spoke, and looked sideways at the man standing next to her. He caught her eye and turned the corner of his mouth up in a way that resembled the very, most reduced level of a smile. She turned her gaze back to the pastor, squinting slightly in the light that was coming in the window behind him.

Her soon-to-no-longer-be fiancé was a good man, and would care for her dearly despite the slight age gap. He had no serious faults or vices, and was not hard to please. He respected her as a woman, and enjoyed the respect she gave him as a successful, well-rounded man.

Outside the leaves were unfurling, only to turn red and orange in a few months and drop to the ground, lifeless and dead. But nobody mocked them from inside that small, old church. Nobody took away from them the lesson the girl had, either.

You did not so much fall into love, as get pushed into it.

All is full of love
The sunsets and the sunrise
The eggshells and the lampshades
They are full of love
For you, and what you are
And who you are
Just take yourself and realize it
Because all is full of love
The sea and the stream and the chemical choked pond
All are ready to laugh
Every one is vibrating in time
To the greatest beat of all
Every bacteria or hand grenade, every sword or gun or plague
All are full of love
You cannot deny it.

I Am Who I Am, And Always Will Be. But That Doesn't Mean I Can't Be A Better Person Than I've Been Lately

3 years have already gone by

Sometimes I am hit by the splendor of things
And the tragedy
And they often conflict with the idealistic ideas that I hold so dear
How can I stand when I am so very small?
How can I breath when the air is so tall?

Then the clocks break down as clouds explode in the sky
And the wind is a parade as I discover I can fly
But the dirt is quicksand that sucks on my feet
Pulling off my sneakers and soaking my socks
My ankles are chilled, I am grounded, shut down, locked

So I'll break bottles until I see God in the flash
And I'll twist off apples from the old tree out back
I will wash my dirty clothes in cold water so clean
And live in hope of meeting someone who knows exactly what I mean

If We Find Each Other, We Won't Be Completely Lost

He slid down the gravel slope, stumbling and kicking up dust. You could tell by the awkwardness of his movements that he wasn't used to the area. When he got to the bottom, he looked around. It was an odd effect; the massive stone columns and the bridge overhead gave him the impression that he was indoors and out of scale. For all he could imagine, it was a huge table with a family of giants eating dinner above him. He strolled along, gazing at the graffiti and old cans of spraypaint. Suddenly he heard a sharp sound up ahead of him, and looked up.

She had just ducked behind a support, and he could see a bit of her hair hanging out past the edge of it. He quietly ran toward her, and when he was about 10 feet away, she peeked out around it and shrieked in laughter. She took off farther down the underbelly of the bridge, with him pursuing her.

She ducked behind another pillar and his sneakers left marks on the concrete as he skidded to a stop and changed direction. After about ten minutes of this, he was exhausted and had lost sight of her. He was leaning over, with his hands on his knees, trying to slow his breathing, when she called from behind him. "Hey." He stood up and turned around, and she walked toward him. They reached out towards each other, but just as they were about to embrace, a man called out, "Hey, stop right there!" They looked, saw a police officer sliding down the gravel slope at the other end of the bridge, and made a break for it. As they ran, their velocities slowly changed until they had split far apart, and were scrambling up opposite sides of the gravel ridge. He looked to her in desperation, but she only smiled, panted, and mouthed "Run!"at him. Then she jumped up and climbed out of view, and he did the same.

Like A Statue Of An Angel

And it is all because of you
that I dream of statue angels
All because of you
I have given up hope of being saven
It was your eyes that sucked the beauty from the sky
and your hair that pulled the grace from the wind in the trees

Please take me over and cleanse me
Save me from myself
Be the beauty I've always wanted in life
and the painted sunset, or the picture on my wall
Something to remind me that there is never nothing
And you cannot forever fall

Be the floor underneath my feet
or the soap-bubbles in my bath
Be the light inside my eyes
Just please be something that will last

The Wide Range Of The Introspectrum

all that i want is to not feel like a human
to be a wall, or a tree, or a sky, or a stone
or a bird, like the bird in your mind
the one that sings of the glorious things
that you can never quite find

the thoughts that hold all meaning and truth
encoded inside you next to Eternal Youth
some little specks of philosophy, inaccessible to you
but you need them so bad, you just know

so you drink, and you drive, and make some new friends
and keep looking for a new beginning somewhere near the end
while i'm biding my time and waiting it out
dissecting myself, my body and soul
peering and poking to find what it's about

Visitor On A Summer Evening

You were standing at the sink, doing the dishes, and you were beautiful. The setting sun was casting a dusky yellow light on your face, and you were humming to yourself.

I drove 300 miles to come see you, and I didn't even tell you I was coming. I didn't even know if you wanted to see me.

I took a step or two forward, reached out, almost touched you, but stopped. You were oblivious, I moved too softly and the floor was too well built for creaking. I ached to say something, but- I left you, and you had recovered, and who was I to wreck that?

I turned sharply away, and you spun around in shock. I ran from the room, through the hallway, and burst out the front door. As I jumped into my car and drove off, I could see your pale, frightened face staring after me out the screen door.

I hope this puts to rest all your fears about that man who snuck up on you in your kitchen that one evening, darling. He was no predator, or ghost. Just someone who had made a mistake. I love you.

My Only Sunshine

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when the sky is grey
I can never tell you how much I love you
So please don't take my sunshine away

The other night dear, I lay sleeping
And I dreamt I held you in my arms
I smelled your scent so sweet, and felt your hair on my face
But when I awoke I saw it was a mistake and I cried

I will make you happy, if I can
And I will do it every single day
Through the good times and the bad, even when I'm cranky
So darling, please don't take my sunshine away

And if you do, dear, it will be cloudy
And I shall drown myself in the rain
The drops shall stand in for my tears
And the mountains will echo the song of my pain

If The Romans Lived In Glass Houses

If home is where the heart is, I live inside my chest. And if I am unable to lie convincingly, people can see right through me. Therefore, I have a chest made of glass. Also, if my chest is glass, the rest of me therefore must be too. So, we have established beyond all doubt that I am an organism of living glass, seeing as I cannot lie convincingly. And as my chest is my home, I live in a glass house.

I have a garden with rocks in it, and every day I spend at least 7 hours forcing myself to not throw them, to leave the rocks in the garden, to not pick them up and pitch them and watch the panes come crashing down, like a shower of brittle snow, beautiful and sharp and dangerous, but mostly beautiful.

There Was An Empty Pack Of Cigarettes And A Bottle In The Photobooth, And I Wonder..

The girl in the photobooth polaroid liked kittens. She had brown hair, and liked to wear flowers in it. She had brown eyes. She liked wearing a faded print dress with flowers and sparrows on it. She liked tea with a lot of milk, and sometimes coffee so strong almost anybody else would spit it out as soon as it touched their tongue. She had smooth teeth, with slightly bigger than average spaces. She had a beautiful smile. Her laugh was musical. She could play the guitar, sing, and keep time with handclaps or a tambourine. Her skin was soft, and her body gave back just as much heat as it took. She was full of love, and never harmed anyone or anything.

The boy in the photobooth polaroid had bad breath, a weak chin, and in all fairness was kind of an asshole.

Arthur Brown, 22, Plays The Guitar And Sings

The thawing clothing smells disgusting, but it's a job. Playing music in a cafe in a mountain town, full of skiers, snowboarders, snow-shoers, photographers, lovers, miscellaneous people. Besides, my car is busted and I can't find anybody to fix it. It's rusting out in back of the motel that I've become a permanent visitor to.

Oh well. It may not be the greatest, but it's a life. At least I'm making a living playing music, I hadn't thought I was ever gonna be able to do that.

But my feet are cold and my shoes are soaked from the slush in the streets and I don't know any of these people and I don't care about them and I've got nothing back at my room and my car's a wreck and I've got nothing at home, and I don't even think I've got a home any more, and you know what? I don't care about anything, and I don't want to be here, I want to be anywhere *but* this godforsaken town of shallow, beautiful people.

My acts' on in ten minutes, I oughta put that emotion into my next song.

If Car A Is Moving At 139 KPH Towards Car B...

The dotted yellow line got eaten up by the hood of the car. Its appetite was ravenous, apparently; the dots were only visible in the screen of the windshield for a second or two before they were consumed. The car moved quickly, quickly, a bullet shot by its own impetus.

The sun gleamed down, reflecting off the body of the car. It was a hot day, and the air felt as if it could reach out and burn somebody.

Suddenly the appetite for dots was filled; the car veered into the other lane, and appeared to want to eat another car. Cannibalism!, screamed a lone cloud in the sky.

A person cried in shock and alarm. Then there was silence.

Another Poem With A Theme

Sometimes I can't feel my feet
and I'm pretty sure it's either because they're not there
or I'm just too drunk to think
I never touch alcohol, so I think it's the first
and stare off into the distance on a summer afternoon

On occasion I fall in love all over again
and it makes the world so perfect
but then the flaws come back and make themselves known
and sometimes I'll be feeling pretty low
but that just means the highs will be that much higher
they nearly always are

And no matter how I act or feel
I'll always take care of you
I'll always do the best I can do
no matter what the weather

Guinevere

I loved you Guinevere, I loved you
In the silence in the heartbeats in the leaves in the loam
I loved you Guinevere, I loved y ou

An d st ill inth e brok en pa nes o f g l
a s s
I loved you Guinevere, I loved you

The leaves, they fall far far too fast
Spinning down into our past, and brown and crinkly on the ground
Too dead to cry out the saving sound
"We loved you Guinevere, we loved you"

Give Us This Day Our

We are made in the image and likeness of God but. where is the image, what is the likeness and who is God? Is he a big human, are we little gods? Is it our minds, our fibers, our fictions, our loves, our flaws, our? The wilderness is floating overhead, and I am lifted from everything. I will return to the One that gave me birth, and I will fragment and hover and blow away on the wind like warm stale air pushed away by a breeze. And I will become the breeze, and fly up to heaven, and dance there, and laugh with the other breezes, the other souls, the dead and the not yet living. And we will spin and wheel under the sun that is the Father, and it will somebody's birthday every single day, and there will be parties and cake and ice cream and there'll be a sprinkler in the sky, like rain but even purer, and we'll dance in our swimsuits or our birthday suits if we prefer, there'll be no lust and no shame. And when we're tired of walking on the ground, we'll walk on the air. And when we're tired of being awake, we'll fall asleep in lovers laps, and everyone will be our lover. And it will all be pure and shameless and I won't feel bad about it. You'll be there all the time, whenever I want you, and it will be perfect. And we'll run off by ourselves and gorge ourselves in a strawberry field, and Einstein will be 3 rows over hiding between the bushes, and we'll laugh. And oh, Darling! It'll be heaven, I promise! It'll be just like Heaven, and the sun will be just like God, and there will be Jesus and the Holy Ghost and Buddha and Mohammed and John Paul II and Darwin and Elvis and all these people! They'll all be there, and there'll be ice cream and mashed potatoes and limes and lemons and everything, it'll all be there and we'll never run out and we'll feel the Lord in everything like electricity, He will sing our bodies electric with His magnificent song and I won't have to cry anymore, you won't either, because we'll all be dead, and if we cry it'll just be for fun. It'll be so much fun!

Image & Likeness

Now I haven't been around for very long yet
But I've still been waiting for a long long time
To kill the evil that is bred inside
The flaws and weaknesses that are uniquely mine

And when my failures have gone
There'll be nothing in me that's wrong
Just a low key person who can wake up
Happy every day

But for now you'll find me driving on those country backroads
That lead somewhere special, but where that is, nobody knows
They lead to the center of the world and my heart
And I will dig and drive and fly until I am completely blown apart

In All Times And All Places

Puella quam amo est pulchra. Meisje I liefde is aardig. L'amour de la fille I a les yeux les plus jolis dans le monde. Die Liebe des Mädchens I hat weiche Haut. Θα περπατούσα σε όλο τον κόσμο τρεις φορές για την. Nuoterei i mari più profondi ed arrampico le più alte montagne. 私は彼女を愛する。나는 그녀를 사랑한다. Eu amo-a. Я люблю ее. La amaré por siempre.