When The World Is On Fire, Who Puts It Out? Or Do We All Just Burn Together?

[this poem is dedicated to my friend Amanda]

Sometimes when I'm rising and falling
Taking pictures of sunflowers and the bodies in the streets
I just have to say
"I'm sure you'll carry on and make it through
Because, after all, the world has never seen someone just like you"
Cliched words, but I really don't care
Because no matter how you are
Living, loving, broken, defeated, dead
Or hopeful
We'll keep you inside our hearts
Even when we don't know where they are
Or do, and can't tell you

And Oh, there's so many bright lights
And no, no welcoming shadows at all
I hope you're not afraid to keep on living
Because sometimes we just have to walk alone
Although, really, we have Someone walking behind us all the time
Despite this, and a traveling song
Sometimes I get so weak
And the worlds changes form
With everything I once held dear a freak
And he'll see you lying next to him
And whisper words that he's never heard
No matter what you do, there will always be someone
Who can make you forgiven

But now's the time to confess;
You messed up
Or maybe we both did (but it's still mostly your fault)
Although, ya know, that doesn't really matter
Because the alarm just goes off earlier if you always wake up late
(Nothing's wrong with waking up late
If you never got any sleep at all
And nothing is bad when you try to make it right
As long as you do your best before you give up for the night)

With All The Flashing And All The Shadows, It's Surprising I Even Showed Up To This Press Conference

Why does it all have to be so hard
Why can't I just say "I love you"?
Would it really do that much to rock your world
Would it be that thoughtless to tell you what you should know
That I think you have my heart
And there's not much that can be done to change my part
In this elaborate play of life

With a life that's this demanding
It's good that it's at least this forgiving
And my eyes are shinging bright
From tears if you say no
And anticipation until you do
I'm sure that if you stick around, eventually you'll be forgiven
Even though there's nothing you think the mob wants more than your head

Why are you lying awake?
Can't you sleep, lying next to me?
Or are you just thinking, pondering love and ectasy?
I'm sure that if you sleep, you'll keep on living
Because too much of a good thing can kill you, especially if that good thing
Was never meant for feeling at all

And this whole poem is a metaphor
Or maybe I'm just aimlessly throwing words out
Hoping some of them will fall into someone's heart
And maybe mean something special to them
Well, I don't know for sure, I've been told
That if I don't rhyme these poems
They quickly grow old
And I don't know
Exactly what they're supposed to do
Except that it somehow involves a heart

Play Revival, Pt. 2

Well, I guess this is good bye
Good lord, good riddance
Because this is the very worst thing of all
That I should have leave you here
When in reality it's you that's leaving me

But I know
There's nothing I can say
That'll sound sweet, and not like revenge
Because all the left (behind) part of my heart wants
Is to kiss you goodbye, and make you stay
But the right half of the blood pump in my chest
And the rest of my body, all it wants is to is watch you walk away
But make sure you don't get home

And the world is messing with my head
Making my teenage dreams rip themselves to shreds
Maybe its left you alone
But not me
So all I need is a heart to make mine
And then I'll be able to bury these young, (but still worn out) bones
And have them up in time to go to school
And learn how I'm supposed to carry on through life
Instead of how I've learned to survive

Can someone call a medical man?
Because our actor just fell down onstage
His lips are moving, and he seems to be ok
But we have to halt the show
For we want it all
A perfect act, and better lie
And our leading man is just that
A man, not a hero
So give him time to bleed
We'll have him on again in a little under an hour

Dandelion

It's a dandelion. It was one of the few in my yard when I took this picture; now they're everywhere.

My Heart Will Always Be The Understudy For My Hurt

I've got a feeling/And it feels like a threat/And the taste on my lips/Is one I'd rather forget/Because sleeping brings dreams/Which bring me back to you/And I hate to be reminded of the worst time for me to lose

Not tonight/Not ever/Because when light ceases/So does life, and love/And everything that gave us our flavor/Just leave me alone in the cold/I think you'd be doing me a favor

I've got a feeling/And it feels like regret/And the sound of your voice/Is what my heart bled/But the blood keeps flowing/Wettens my sheets like a flood of emotion/And stains floor, and creeps under the door

Not tonight/Never, forever/Because the light is dimming/And the victims of love/Are spitting their regrets in my face/And if they can't put them into my head/My heart is the only other place

That Summer Feeling (or) Sunshine, Memories and etc.

Tonight I'm getting that summer feeling. I carried my laptop outside to write, and I don't regret it. I didn't listen to any music, I turned the sound off on my comp. I just sat in the dark and typed. Without any movement, all my aches and pains from the day stood out. Without me making any sound, everything, from birds saying goodnight, to windows opening, to neighbors talking three doors down, everything stood out. There's a heavenly breeze; scented with all kinds of flowers. The temperature is just right; not too warm, not too cold, just a tiny bit cool.

And this is making me get my summer feeling. It's where I feel like I should just break free, go walking and visit my friends, even though it's late at night. I want to just forget about troubles and responsibilities, and live life happily. And carefree.

Maybe that'll happen someday, but not tonight. I have to get to bed. There's lots of work that still needs to be done, and I need my sleep.

Play Revival, Pt. 1

When I was a young boy
My father played piano
He was playing when I woke up in the morning
And he played all through my days
He calmed me in the evening
And from the dining room sung me to sleep at night
And when he died, and gave up his last breath
He was sitting, playing at the piano
And he told me, "Son, when you grow up
Remember, life isn't what it seems
Before you break down or they fade away
Remember to capture your dreams"

But the world just kept on wheeling
And kicking me along
Though I'm limping, breaking and bleeding
I still feel the bite of its boot, and it feels wrong
And visiting him on his anniversary of early goodbye
I can hear him playing
And he keeps playing, great enough to wake the dead
And he does, and they do
Wake, then die
Sleep, but don't take me
Because nothing can harm me in my dreams
But only when I let them slip away
That's when they frighten me in the dark
And tell me I was too late

Mask by Jillian K.

All of life is a performance
at least that's what they say
You make the props,
the scenery, the script,
but it's all improv and feeling.
But what happens when
you can't feel anything
How can you go on?
If all of an actor's talent
comes from the heart,
how are you supposed to
create the illusion for the audience?
Or do you have to retire
and be a spectator?
When feeling goes
what is left?
I'll tell you what is left,
A mask and nothing else.

An Empty Stage And An Echo Are All That's Left Of The Greatest Show On Earth

I've changed my tune since you left me
Now I think I'm finally ready to give up on you
Instead of wondering
What's making you give up on me

But your eyes make it so hard
Even though neither of us want to be here
I can't stand the thought of "over"
So I'm asking myself
Can I give up on you?

Maybe not, maybe so
Possibly yes, and probably no
But I, I give up on you
And the love I could have had
Please, just let me give up
Because with a girl like you
It's just too hard to let you go

Untitled

Maybe we're all the one who's messed up
Dropping apologies like spoiled fruit on the ground
Or maybe we're all just forced attendees
Of a mix between a funeral, boot camp and masquerade ball
Where everyone lies
And everyone dies
To the beating of the marching drum
And the sound of the sergeant's cry

But this blood upon my palm
Reminds me that I'm still around
And so is everything else around me
That I can scrape and scratch my soul on
So come on you unbelievers
You shan't stand before this army
For we are armed with faith
Faith with the ground on which we walk
And the air with which we talk
And the God for which we speak
For all among us will die loved
From the quiet hero to the vocal freak
We are here

I will let my words enslave no one
But let them decide how they will
Make the truth contained in them.

I Saved This As A Draft And Published It As A Failure

It's been a long long time since I've felt this
But the heat of hate is almost comforting
Sort of like an anti-bliss
A cardiac amputation
That leaves me gasping and in pain
But reassures me that I'm still alive (for now)
Now isn't the time for apologies and talks
Just for running away without saying goodbye
Even though I don't like leaving under the stare
Of eyes that plainly say, "die"

Running through the forest and field
Back to the sweet dream I once knew
I fall down the hill to the river below
My hope comes true; you came here too
But so did he
Penetrating my dream, and me
And simply one of his looks has shook
And broken, and frozen
My heart

This is the last time
This is my very last time
I said, this is the very last time
I'll let someone take my life
Don't say no when I ask why
This is the way things had to be

If It Was Up To Me, I'd Be Right Up Next To You

The house is silent, as a grave
I walk slowly and carefully, reminding myself to behave
As I should in such esteemed company
I find the doorknob, turn it and run
As from out of the room floats "shut the ******* door!"
From my esteemed hosts, lying on the floor

Ohhh, oh oh
I can't believe it's true
But apparently I faked it
Because all the words were fired
But none of them hit true (hit you)
And isn't this exactly where I shouldn't be
Or maybe it's just where I ended up, and isn't good or bad at all
Although I'm probably just trying to justify making bad mistakes

I swore already in the courtroom
That I saw the narrator shot dead in the prologue
Yes, I know the protagonist found him in the second to last chapter
But I swore I saw him shot and killed before the story ever started
And can't I make any of these poems rhyme?
That irritates me to no end
You know, that the ending sounds of my lines never seem to blend
But, that doesn't matter tonight, my friend

Because no matter where you are
Or how stupid my words sound
I'm just going to softly sing you to sleep
With you lying like a little child in your big empty bed

Honestly, if I could I would make this right
And honestly, I wish I had heard your voice
Before I dropped off to sleep in this cold lonely bed

1st Ever Guest Poem! "I'm From", By Rachel E.

I'm from a Family that Teaches,
While my brother teaches me patience
My dog teaches me responsibility

I'm from my room
My practice place,
My guitar sits on my lap,
As I strum every chord as if they all
Had some sort of meaning

I am from the kitchen
Scavenging for food,
Opening the refrigerator searching for
Some food that looks satisfying at the time

I am from the softball diamond
I stand on the pitchers mound,
My turf, And of course
I pitch a perfect strike

I am from the computer,
iTunes, AIM, and Internet
are always open when
I am on the computer

I am from banana cream pie
Baked by my grandma
Topped with one extra scoop
Of whipped cream

I am from a camp ground,
A Warm fire, and smores
At night the chrickets chirp slowly
Puts you to sleep

I am from friends
We stick together like
Fruit kabobs
We’re always there for eachother

I am from Starbucks
That is where I live
A caramel latte with cinnamon cake
Is all I need

I am from the lake
Swimming until I can’t swim any longer
Maybe riding swiftly around in my grandpa’s boat
Or maybe being pulled on
A tube by a thin wire

This is where I’m from

When I Woke Up, I Was Willing To Take My Chances On You (But Now I Don't Believe In Happy Endings)

There's three thousand people standing in my bedroom
Telling me that I'm looking for comfort where hearts
Shouldn't dare sleep
"Well, damn you all" I say as I slink
Out to the bathroom, and stick my head in the sink
I shower with the faucet, and wish for a longer reprieve
From the corpses of my past mistakes and the consciences
Of all the other people in my life

Have you been reading the news?
'Cause recently it's just been about how I always lose
Hidden inbetween the lines, yes, that's true
But you know I'd never ever lie to you
About the things my heart told me last night
Because that, of course, just wouldn't be right
Now I have to admit, I've hid behind romantic words
But now the long haul of my friends is slowly
Dragging me out

Keep quiet, they're coming round the corner
And we're both in a compromised position
I thought you wanted to keep your first big mistake a secret
So stuff my heart underneath the sheets
And pretend we never even liked each other at all
Because obviously you can't live with a boy for a friend
So this is something I'm going to have to have the strength to end

But there's the appeal
Of lying in the dark
And wondering if you'll believe any of the words at all

Six A.M. In The Morning Was Too Late For Yesterday

Sun sets down
Town starts up
Gunshots echo; the party's started
Knives flash; the party's getting going
The way your girlfriend does it
I can't get enough

This town's alive
Living with the dead
And the inbetweens, not to sound mean
This event looks like it's going just fine
The music is so loud
No one heard me meet her at the back door

The lights are flashing
And I don't know if anyone else can tell
That those sirens aren't part of the song
I'm thinking we all better get ready to do some heavy duty running

With the way your girl does it
I honestly can't get enough

Why Do People Burn Liars?

The sun sets, the light fades
From this jungle of purple and violet
The animals dream, some of them prowl
And eat each other in crunching bites
While angels drift overhead
Watching life turn more life dead
Drifting like clouds, floating like mist
This world explodes as the sun races back up
Pursued by an angry moon
With teeth of stars it snaps at the golden globe
Awards, He deems, are necessary for everyone involved
This is such a passionate play
With mixing of life and death, of night and day
Without pause, without end
But then He thinks and works his thoughts
Allknowningly guessing what shall be "accidentally" wrought
Behold, comes Man

A prey at first, but sticks and stones come to hand
Hand comes to mind
And the world is changed
Man has come, as He sees
Persecuting all animals, from the great mammoths
To bees
Nothing shall stand in this creature's way
For He has authored it today
It's another act in a passionate play

Untitled, Except For This

In my very own way
I'm totally insane
I'm unique, precious and trashy, despite everything they say
They're still just "they"
The people no one knows
And the truth that no one shows
Here's a heavy metal remix of the sadness that you felt
Until the sound fades out
And we all fall asleep in the silence

Here's a myth that I have to believe in
You love me half as much I love you
Because I'm sitting here waiting for the world to keep on ticking
And I'm not sure if I'll know when it does
Oh, I really don't know if I can find a place
In your diary, in your life
As a friend, as something else
That I don't recognize

But I can tell, it's something that's
Very new, impossibly new, considering how old it is
So new, to these four eyes

I'm Soaring On Broken Wings

We're the people who hide behind these words
Lurking in the dark, loving the light
When it happens to shine our way
And the door just closed on all chances of returning to the things we hated before
So light a match to light up the room
And burn up the oxygen

The sound of your fingers on the keys
Is sultry, unbelievable
As is the warning it gives me
The notes hang in the air like vipers or scorpions
Scorning me and the love I thought to bring

So I step outside and find a whole new life
A girl who smells like summer night as I bury my face in her hair
Instead of a girl who stinks of perfume and high living
And it was love, Love, who tore us apart
Love made me do it, "it was the devil!" she cries
I can see the desperation in her eyes
And feel from here the jolt of her heart
As she tries to grab me back again
But Love, love tore us apart
And is the one that has sewn me and her together
My summer girl as we sleep under a bridge
The night air cold but sweet
As we turn our backs to the city
And our hearts to the concrete

And All Along, It Was Just The Intermission, Not A Failure

Waking up at night
There's a face pressed against your window glass
But it vanishes, it just can't last
Cause I can't make myself get you back
For keeping your love from me
But the bile still rises to my throat
When I feel so trapped and alone
I need friends, I need enemies
To talk to, to fight with all the time
Because living your life under bedsheets sucks

I made a wish at 11:11
But it never left the safety of my tongue
And I wish for love ever moment of when I do
The memories of times alone and together blend and blur
And mix together in to you
If you just put your hand in mine
And I, mine in yours
Then we could block out this aching world
I'm waiting for your reply, but it isn't coming
So we sit, and stare at the stars from the roof of your parents house
Where our hearts used to talk

I'll Try To Hold You In, Even Though You're Mostly Just A Beautiful Feeling

No matter what words I choose
They never work out right
Because none of them ever say
Anything about how I'm thinking about you all night
I'm praying for love
And maybe a little more
Than "just friends"

I'm afraid to say
That I wouldn't be caught dead in a graveyard like this
But that doesn't stop me now
Not after last night
Not after the sound of your voice
And the sound of my heart coming back together
There never was a more beautiful collision

There isn't much between you and me
Just some doubt, and one or two vague wishes
I'm so tired of writing poems for someone who doesn't realize it
And it's such a problem when my inspiration is not getting what
I want
Just say "one more night"
I'll try to make it up to you one very last time
Cause, see, you're just like a sunrise to me
Only sweeter

It's Funny How You Look In The Mirror And Talk To Yourself, Saying "She Looks Just Like You..."

[This poem is dedicated to my friend Dani]

The lights come on
And so do you
Then the rest of us file out on stage
To entertain for the night in our own special way
And I swear, this whole world never seemed so alive
With the moon shining down and the people all around

You get chills in the dark
'Cause there's someone waiting by the backdoor of the building
You can't make who it is out through the dark
But that doesn't matter, 'cause it's me
And I leave before you can notice that it's me
Oh, there shouldn't have been any turning back that night
I hope you understand that that whole thing was an accident
Only caused by sentiment and instinct
But there shouldn't have been any turning back last night
Because I've always been told that the hard thing is what's right

I hope that this is whole thing isn't just a dream
Or maybe a sweet nightmare
I just need to break out and wake up
And look out the window and find out if out there lies disaster
Or paradise
Which ever it is, I'll just laugh
Because after sleeping for so long, any reality is a relief

You're not who you think you are
And neither am I
Again, I just have to laugh at the disaster outside
Maybe I'll take my bike out for a ride
Just to see if I can outrace myself for a little while
I didn't think that you'd need to escape too
But that could be the only reason to make you ride so fast
And maybe the realization wouldn't have hurt so much
If it hadn't come so swiftly around that corner

(All your friends say you're too far gone
But I say not, unless they're afraid of walking at night
Because I prowl the streets looking for someone
And it could be anyone, especially you)

She's Not My Girlfriend, But This Is Too Good A Love Poem For A Single Boy

Can you tell me with a straight face
That this isn't what you wanted?
Because I'd change for you (in fact, I already have)
Just to be who you want your boy to be
(But I have a feeling you just want me to be who I want to be)
Here's a question for all the sharp minds out there
How can I be what she wants me to be? and still be the perfect boy?
'Cause what she wants for me and what she wants for herself are two seperate things
I feel bad, because the shock sets in
And I don't know what to do

Now here's a dilemma
I can be the perfect me
Which can be the perfect boy
For I've got a quicker wit
A more tender touch and a way better love
Than any of those blonde-haired, blue-eyed, ten girls a minute men
For brown and quiet is a poet's soul
And all poets are lovers in some deep, sensual way
This is a poem and a song
To you, my valentine that I never sent
And the road that I never went
Traveling down. that lonely sound
Haunts me when I sleep
The sound of happiness
And the scent of someone else on your mind
Can we just get together
And find out who we really are?

(I love you. Honestly. I do.
Even from a million miles away
From the darkest night through the brightest day
You and your memory is never far away)

Just Let Your Doubts Be Quiet; They'll Go Away

I'm writing you a love note from a million miles away
Imagining you in the sweet summer night
Thinking of you during the heat of the day
Tell me who you want tonight
I'll tell you if you're right
We've both waited so long, for a love so true
And all we've found are failures, making us blue
I'm sure it could last, me and you
Because four times over I've bit my tongue when you called another winner
And I've washed your decks for what seems like years
After every storm you sail through
Hey, Miss Golden Girl
Do you think you could take a chance on a boy like me?
One who's too weak to let you down
And too noble to tell you what to do, except be happy
And hopefully, with me

I know I know I know I know
That you've said that you're not the one for me
But, girl, how can you say that
When you don't know how I feel? or how we could be so free?

I'm Praying Through The Headache For The Strength To Give Up

I'm going to try this again
And hope it goes right this time
"I love you", whoever you are
Or whoever you claim to be

Ok, good good, we're getting to the point
I'm here to tell you I love you
You're here to hear, and listen to everything I say
Like I'm Jesus preaching to everyone in the world
I only aim to be one of the top three things you're staying alive for
Is that too much to ask, my beautiful little tempest?

Good Lord, you'd think I could make this thing rhyme
Or at least make a lick of sense
Instead I'm just stealing lines from a million other poets
And pretending I live in a fantasy world where the sun always shines
And lollypops and fairys and rainbows dance through the woods

I can tell what you're thinking by the way
The way you look at me and blush when I see you
I've not enough shame to blush when I imagine you undressed
You know that I'm the bad guy, right? because the sweetest talkers
And the most graceful walkers
Are the ones you have to watch out for
And if you think I'm the perfect mate for your soul
Be afraid, I probably faked it

Hearts Beaten, Faster, Faster

It's about time I chimed in with a "no one cares anymore"
As if there wasn't enough depressing junk in the world
Before I decided to write this poem

When I wake up every morning
I have no idea who I'll find in the passenger seat
With her arm around me
But the biggest thrill of the chase is whispering in your ear
And feeling your heart race faster
Faster

And touching your shoulder, your arm, your hand
No, I think the biggest thrill in this chase is
Most probably the part where I blow your mind
Because you've never been this close to anyone in public before
And I can't stand to not make you sweat
It's such a joy to know I'm the one making your heart beat
So fast
So fast

Let's try this again
I move from your shoulder to your hand
Back up your arm, and up to your face
And let's not have a slap this time
You know you want me, what's behind those stained-glass windows
In my eyes
So don't try to hide it from this untestable boy
You hard-living girl

My least favorite kill in this chase
Was the part where I went into shock
And you left me with my brain shutting down
But when you crawl into your cold bed five minutes after midnight
I know the sound of my breath as I stand in your closet is the thing
That's making your heart beat faster
Oh so faster

I'd Have Something To Tell You, If You'd Care To Pay Attention

I swear to shake your life up
If you swear to pay attention
I'm far too young to have this kind of addiction
And I bet you'd try to gouge out my eyes
If you knew what they said, all the different kinds of lies


I'm all shaken up
And you could tell if you looked close
And payed attention
I'm just a boy who's too young to tell
The difference between wisdom and a last chance at redemption

My hands are shaking
And I wonder if you can do secret things for attention
I just want someone to listen
And give me her affection
But I think there's something my eyes forgot to mention

I'll shake up your world if you swear to listen
Make all your dreams, if not truth, more than fiction
And I can claim to be
The miracle cure for people who are lonely just like me

I throw sad lines at you
Hoping you'll be impressed
While others throw their cheaply perfumed selves at me
Hoping to find me undressed
It's always the same, always old
No one tries anything new

Come Saturday I'll find a new way
Something to bust out of the old cliches
Because for some reason, without me noticing
None of these poems really seem to live

I don't fight fair, because I don't care
And nothing means everything like winning does
An angry mood fits a life led in the dark
I'll trap and execute these feelings, in dark, secret places
Where no one will hear them scream

This Poem Was Written With Poise, Rationality, And Most Especially Desperation For A Hug

I have a question for everyone who's ever taken breath
Or stolen it from right out of my mouth
Can't you ever learn how close the door on reality?
In fact, why don't you just close the door to your heart
And I can seal it in an envelope and send it off to oblivion
Or burn all your hopes and dreams just to keep myself warm

What a shame you never even understood the fact that I would have
Cut off someone else's left hand for you
This is such a moody poem, you'd think I was scared
Scared of telling you who I am
Well, no one wants to do it more than me to do it to you
The greatest piece of meaning I've ever meant to say
Shot to be a number one hit in one of the lower levels of hell
The dead love love of the living
And I'd die for the love of life
I think it's time to close this door

Next time you take a breath, remember someone else wasn't so lucky
And forget the security of lying in bed holding hands with your wife
People die at the worst moments, from kicking the bucket at places from
Weddings to funerals
Why don't you just take the ring, I know from what he did last Saturday
That to him it never meant a thing
Just chuck him in the hole with the other guy
I don't think anyone here really cares anymore

It Only Gets Harder To Be Respected, If Everyone Knows You're Right

Last summer I scored "good" all across the board
But by last fall, I was a fallen ace
A bruised and broken dream
Through the winter I watched the ice creep
All through the windows in my eyes
Every day, in the newspaper, the cover story claimed to be
"Young, Smart Boy, Cannot Find His Enemy"


Well, you're all just breathing water
And I join you, though it's making me a clown
'Cause I'm the only one who knows he's drowning
Even though my voice just spills and makes no sound
Some say if you rhyme a poem, it loses all its soul
Well, I say that a rhyme-less poem
Just rasps out what is not whole

Now I don't mean to hurt you
I just want to live
But it's so hard to play the game
When all you want to do is give
Just give everyone else victory
And let them win the game
Though to the rules, that is not fair
That's losing, acting lame
I know this makes no sense
But I've done the best I can do
It hurt me to write this, dear reader, just as much
As it hurts you.

Hearts Beat In Union With The Dissonance

This is a love letter to my heart's one true enemy
The one who can always strike it down just a look of the eye
I cried on your couch till I woke the house up
And when I had to explain why I was there,
The poet and hypnotist in me was laid bare
I was lost and won and lost again, like a crown or an island
Still my heart beats, though by all rights it's a dead heart

And my all wrongs are set apart
From all the deeds I didn't do, and all the loves I thought were true
This bullet, dear, I dedicate to you
The powder smells as the bullet tears through the roof
I smell like a sinner, low and aloof
And this letter still writes itself, though by all rights
It's just something I'll put back on the shelf

I'm Reading About The After-Life, When I Should Be Working On This One

Shouldn't I know by now that poems are just a headless hammer?
A failed and broken cure for growing older?
All they're good for is showing everyone the way the poets are
Even my best rhymes can't cover it up
Can't cover it up
But I still say
Give me two more weeks and ten Saturday's
And I swear I'll make everything feel ok
I think you're showing me open doors
But the key is still in the lock, and I have no idea if they're open-ended...

On a summer day, you and me
Making our own paradise
But not the one that really matters
I smile when I think of my accidental genius
And frown at all my goodly contrived mistakes
I'm trying to cast off the skeletons on my back
Just remember to remind me why we came before the last song plays

...

Well, that was a nice poem. I think that it's funny, how often I write. I hear lots of good things about my work, but...Sometimes to me it seems like I'm just massproducing sentiment. Is it still meaningful if there's a million other near-copies of the work? Is it still possible to be original, in a world like the one we have today, where the Internet spreads everything out over the entire Earth? Can people still come up with some sacred scrap of cleverness? Am I being original, or just lying in a new way? I don't know. I just don't know. And I don't think I'm anywhere near to figuring it out. So until I do, or don't, I'll just sit here, typing on my keyboard, cranking out hopes, dreams, and words that other people don't have the strength or natural wit to speak.

I still have far to go...I haven't published anything yet. I'm sitting here in my tiny, rented room in the metropolis of the Blagosphere. And what am I doing? Whispering to the world. I really should try to get some of this between the covers of a book. There's far more out there then just a network of blogs....maybe I should try aiming for success in the real world, the one where you live and die. Well, dear audience, back to the play...

...

Is my heart a little more than you bargined for?
I can tell you wanted a cat, but you got a lion
You're taking yourself down, and dragging everyone with you on your way up
There's a loaded gun in the closet, and the crowd in the theater says
"Don't pull it, don't pull it"
Well, you make another notch in the wall to tell the time
But it's seven o'clock according to your watch
If almost none of my metaphors and witticisms make sense
I guess, incoherently enough, I'm still making myself known
Even if it's only through mystery, like why I'm listening to the same song
Three times in the half hour

Abthirdly Personal

Could you love a man
Who loves with a diamond?
A hard jewel he holds
In the palm of his hand
He's luckier than most
He can take his heart right out of his chest
And look at it
And he sees a man, who has a heart of diamond
He sees it reflected, in the palm of his hand

Would you believe me if I told you
He doesn't want to hurt anyone?
Maybe you could believe something like this
"He just wants to get along, to actually be friends
You know, the kind that never ends
He just wants to say what he really means
And wait for an hour, or more
Just to see her once again"

He'd pick you up when if you went down
If you're knocked down
He's just the one to get you on your feet again
And, he just wants you to know
He lives his life, just dancing on
Hoping all the time for a partner to join him
For just the very next song

Not For The Boys

I've got a question for the person on the street
Who picked up my heart as she walked by
A motion so automatic, she didn't even notice as she did it
Neither did I
So here's my question, that I have to ask
Who are you? where are you?
Do you have space in your heart for a traveler and his pack
Full of things that he'd much rather lack
Broken pieces of dreams once held dear
Crumbs of love, smashed and spoiled
And stupid metaphors such as this?
I'm just another sunken-eyed fool
Searching for bliss
And this, and this
This looks a lot like bliss, even though it's you
So I guess not bliss, just a care-worn happiness
The kind that feels good when you crawl under the sheets after a long
Hard day
And I don't honestly know if I'll ever be that way
And I also don't know if I'm scaring you with these words
If I were me, you, my reader, were she
Would you run and hide from the dark, wild passion inside
Such a youthful, well-spoken, well-read boy?

(But maybe this doesn't really matter, anyway
But then nothing would matter at all, in any single way)

I S Wnt T Lv Y, Thgh t Nvr Wrks t Rght

I never know how to start a poem without diving into sentiment
So I've started it with these pointless lines
So now, introduction aside
You might read this and wonder, "if he's so taken by me
Why hasn't he called? why hasn't he told me?"
Well, you know I would have
But I've got a lousy arm when it comes to throwing caution to the wind

I'm giving up on myself as we speak
And making a comeback as we part
I hope someday someone will give me the chance to figure myself out
Baby, I hug your image, in my head
And stuff the other side of the bed
I make the Sign of the Cross, touch my heart and hope to die
With a shard from your heart in my eye
And life is a long song, and mine is on on repeat
When I think of all the cliched lines I use to try capture hearts
It makes me want to cry, because I'm such a sensitive man

I'm perfectly aware that things aren't the same anymore
But I try to keep the reality away from my heart
Because it's bad for the resale value if it falls apart
I'd trade my sad-boy blues for your wide-eyed happy girl browns
And give up my anger and frustration for the sigh of contentment
I could pull from the lips of you

Could It All Just Last Until The Stars Burn Out?

I look at you from my sunken-eyes chair
Smell your perfume on the breeze and taste the wind in your hair
And wonder, you and me; could we last?
Could we taste something so sweet
Could we dissolve into a future past?

And these are just the lovesick moanings
Of a lonely boy with a heart of gold
And a gilted tongue of elegance
Don't you know that I'm only a stitch in time away from you
A single life that wants to prove that it's true
And I carry a scar in the shape of a knife
Men go, get wives
And then waste their life

Could we last?
Could these words actually be spoken?
Could love make its move once again?
Cupid stole my heart
And left it shot in a ditch
And I know that if this sob of a poem catches your ear
Then you must be desperate
Just like me

I just want to tell you that when I see your face
My blood pump bangs and breaks
Blood cells cry for emotion shed
In the form of chemicals and tears
I wonder if you know that your touch upon my arm
Is all my eyes need to dilate

Could we last?
Could love if we did?
Could I if they didn't?
Isn't it better to feel like it's love that killed you
Rather than a lifelong fall?

Memory For Me

The smoothness and grace
Of my hand on your face
The best times always happen when the parting is forever
And you'll always be the person in my dreams
I'll keep your memory, wherever you roam
Far away from me, farther still from home
If you lose yourself in foreign lands
If cold sleet or hot wind bite or burn your perfect hands
I will remember you

And I'll remember you though nations fall
And anarchy envelops us all
I'll be remembering you even as stars fall from the sky
While ice freezes the tears of all those who cry
For the world, and the paradise
And loves such as you and I

I'll remember you, because of compassion
But you'd stay in my mind either way
For the subtle way you've crept inside my heart
Shows me that your soul longs for comfort (which I cannot give
But I'll do my best to shield you) just like everyone else
And the ice is thin, nothing but a mirror
Between people like you, and me
Shivering, shaking, for your memory
I'm blinded by the Light of God
And no more have I strength to waste
As the sun sets for the final bow
I know not where you are, now
But your memory is in my mind
Even as I begin to climb
That long, long golden ladder

Departure From Style

i know you listened at the door
hand ice cold upon the floor
you couldnt not listen to the lies
with tears in your eyes, you took my words
ones that werent meant to be heard
you weep for the love you thought was lost
and for the heart, cruelly tossed
dont you know i still love you
and always will through thick and thin
right from thought, down through my skin

Something Good, If It Comes

The tv's on, but nobody's watching
And you turned me on, but you're not watching
You're not taking advantage of the state I'm in
Not choosing to lead me down any path, be it paradise or sin
I'm naked in the snow, you took my clothes away
And left me bare to all
With just a slight scrap of my illusions to keep the cold at bay
Just put me out of my misery
Shoot me in your special way
Love me, leave me
Which is better than having never been loved at all
Take me drinking, I want to drown my sorrows down

You're more experienced than me
You're the cat, and I'm the mouse
And you play with me, oh so gently
Coming close enough to feel me tense
Bath me with your breath
But never breaking skin
You know? this is really something
You're screwing me up, messing with my head
Violence is one more matter of the heart
And you, you're really something

Oh, The Cold, And Oh, The Snow

This is what they brought me
Wrapped in silk and silence
Sing of what you can never understand
Signs of darkness, sighs of light
Look into my eyes and see the locks laid there
See what stirs in my mind as I lay me to sleep
Mysterious but true, I'll never leave you
And now you can wonder if that's a blessing or a curse

Ice, snow and wind are embedded in my soul
It's carved with patterns old as time
Old as stories by the fire
For years untold I, my ancestors walked in the cold
Grew strong with the snow, grew old with the cold
Cold
Love my body, darling
Hug me close, hold me tight
But don't try to solve the cold inside
It's something you can neither banish nor hide
Just live with the knowledge that is greater than me

I'll give the cold in my eyes
You give yourself to sleep in the cold and the dark
With me
This is a promise of my heart of diamond
And a promise of your life of gold

On Success (or) Under Failure

The success that some people strive for is very different from what others long for. Same for failure. For some people success is a momentary feeling that everything is all-right, everything is ok for the moment. For others success is growing old and being able to care for their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren while living comfortably. How do they achieve their seperate ideals? Some can succeed by doing as little as picking out the perfect music to cure their bad or restless mood. Others find success by closing huge business deals. Giving hugs completes other people, while some get that good feeling by punishing bad guys. Shouting out with expression, (i.e. poetry, music) and getting a positive response works very well too. <;) Loving a person, helping them feel good. All of these things can help people get on top of success.

Failure. Something I'm in a good mood, and so don't really want to write about. Let's just say that it's when you've regressed on the path towards what you want. Or when you set your expectations so low that you don't need to work to get to them.

Well, I'll write more later. I'm off to go succeed.

Venus De Milo Couldn't Spare A Dime For Another Ten Minutes On The Parking Meter

The crowd waits to see what he'll do
Watches him exposed, nothing but bare
Like a butterfly stuck and pinned up there
A wonderful example of "gone to pot"
Few love him, some hate him
Most don't care; quite a lot
But summertime leaves all the leaves in the trees
Strangers with knives hold hugs for you and me
And it's hard to believe inspiration can lie
And it's easy to believe that I don't often try
Till suffocation makes me desperate, and onions make me cry
I smile, as I look you in the eye
And gesture at the dance floor, the fiddle starts away
Gone for a moonlight trip, a wet-grass slip
And we'll never be exactly the same as we were five seconds ago
Gramophone blues, it's all old news
And the ice in the window crawls into the inside
Crawls like death in cold-ish form
"Fill out our forms, and we'll send you to die
It's what we do, though we don't know why"
Sweet baby dream, growing up fast
Time in bed never lasts
You can't dream your way to infinity, only to tomorrow
You're the ice-cube in my glass
I'm the windows in your past

(I'm in your past, as time goes by
It's what I do, though I don't know why)

To The Young Man Building A Castle Round His Heart, Can You Lend A Trusting Ear?

A crack of a gun at the crack of dawn
A father lies, and so does his son
Staying the light, for a year or a day
They're fit for war, and so for peace
But a piece of plaster comes falling down
And splits on the stage, no one notices the sound
In the rushing and confusion
Of life's long improvised play

But my hero returns, knight gone back to the night
But I waited for you a year, I waited a day
And the bells didn't sound and the sun didn't rise
I couldn't lift my lonely shameful eyes
But I cried for the poets sent off to die
And I shed tears for the brave boys who felt they had to try
Only when the piper piped on his flute
Did I raise my head, it was an absolute
Disaster

Disaster, said he
Disaster, replied she
"We grow up not knowing who we are
Only knowing that we'll never know until it's too late
To apologize to all the lost loves and lovers lost
But we hang our head and its ache
As we pick up the dead and break
The stalemate of life, and the deadlock of strife
I take you, young lady, as my wife"
The ring upon the sun marks the exact, precise nature of all your fears
(Rhymes give you strength to face the day
Though no one knows why they work that way)

Welcome, Welcome, One And All To Walter's Literary Circus!

I'd like to start a new tradition here, at my wee bloggy blog. Guest Writer! If you write, be it full length novels, short stories or poems, Send me an example! Just email what you want posted with whatever info you feel is needed (name for you and title for piece are mandatory) and I'll put it up. However, each person only gets one guest write (I might occasionally ask for more, though <;). I'm looking forward to this new thingy-ma-bobber. I think it'll create a little, shall we say, "community" here. <8) Well, that's all for now...

I'm Supposed To Love You, Say Neurons In My Brain

I can tell by the way every poem starts with love paraphrased
That you're my one and only, true blue love
If only I knew who you are...

But when you kiss the sun, third time is the charm
Some nights the light gets so bad, I have to call the manufacturer
And ask what's the deal? and why can't I sleep over her blue-brown eyes?

I'd sing a song for you, but the show's so close to closing
I'd try to make it up to you, but I'm not in the know about knowing
<:D emoticons show emotion better than words when your lover is a million miles away

This poem was born under a bad sign
Like "Warning, Unsafe Terrain" or "Break Glass In Case Of Fire"
Still, I'm the prince of a crazy neon empire
And I walk around in my water-logged shoes, hoping for one last chance
At another last chance
The script says I'm supposed to love you
But my heart says it isn't love
It's something unusual, not something like love that I remember so well
But still, I'm supposed to love you as the words drop from my lips
And they encourage me to do or do not as the sun sets down its glow for the day
And I have no idea how or why I feel this way...
Girl, they say I'm supposed to love you, I think I might actually, really, possibly, somehow,
Love you
(But it's not bad enough to make me pick up the phone
And dial the number to connect me to your home)

Pwmed

I called your house when you were at work
Just to hear your answering machine voice
You left, walking away in silence
There suddenly wasn't any more you
Or any more me...
Don't leave me alone
I'm stupid, I know
But I'm so sick of living a love song
So sad every day and every night
Why can't I find out why you left...
Why do I always fail in holding in the tears
Whenever I'm standing in the bathroom undressed
I'm still wishing that I'm seeing your face
Hearing your love, and how you used to say you'd never leave
Until the day when you got up and left me alone...
You happy lovers child, smiling through the rain
I listen to your answering machine every single day
It's the number one song on my mental radio
(You were my world, but you came crashing down
Smashing me in your descent
It barely made a sound)

You On The Sea Of Me

Rather than "I love you"
I'd prefer to hear "I trust you"
Rather than having you love me in the dark
I'd prefer you just rest your head on my shoulder in the quiet
Because truth is the best way to live
I feel true when I'm with you (and that's the truth)
So rest your head
Let the sun set
Leave good-byes until the tide pulls us apart
Love is truth and truth is love
You'll find them both in my heart
In every little nook and cranny, in every single part

(I'm the truth, and I can love a liar
So tell me anything, it won't change any of it at all
Take your best shot, my heart is open
No one feels you'll hit like I do)

The Wished Words Of Yesterday Are This Morning's Apologies

You've just made this a disaster town
Why am I so miserably stunning?
Far from genuine, pond-scum cunning
I can't understand why the right thing feels so wrong
I don't want to get involved in her messed up life
No, I'm not for the argument and strife
I'm better than this, I'm worse than that
I'll apologize, say I'm sorry
It might help, even though I don't mean it...
The truth I've picked is gonna hurt you
Worse than anything I could ever do by myself

Think back to the way I held your hand
Warmed it up, so you wouldn't feel icy inside
God, why is the truth always so cold?
Do we only warm ourselves with lies?
Showing up outside your bedroom window
I nod and smile, and walk away as you yell at me from your
Window-sill perch. I can't take you much longer
Slick, yeah, stylish, affirmative
But why do you still keeping stabbing yourself
Right through me?
When you find out how it hurts
Will you have the guts to walk down in all your makeup and shame
And tell me that you're sorry?
(I don't want anything greater than a sorry...)

I'm A Poet, Not A Knight Or A Hero (But I'll Do The Best I Can)

Tried to stop you from asking me again
I don't know if, I don't know when
This'll happen again
I've tried so hard
To get through the pain, to get to the love
But I have a feeling love is busy
And I sense lust is on the other line
Lady, I swear, I say
That I'll never let you down
You've dropped me already, but I won't drop you
(You never call me when I'm down
Your lust is all that wants me)
Can't you understand?
You kiss, and I'll tell you what I mean
I mean that this is too good to last
But I'll keep this alive, keep it out of the past
Keep our hearts pressed in the pages of the dictionary
That beats on the shelves of our love...

I'm trying to say this directly
I'm a poet, not a knight
I have no shining armor, and my sword is only a pen
But I'm trying to do the best I can
Trying to shield you at my expense
Every little word is for your benefit
I know I love you
I think you lust me
What's going on inside your soul?
Let me hear the secrets of your mind and heart
Just give me a sign, are you worth the effort
It takes to protect you? because I'm breaking apart
(Let's try to get this right, one more time
You're the hunted, I'm the decoy
And they're the hunter, the rest of the world
Will you thank me when it's over?
Or just leave me broken on the ground?)

The Wrong Shape For The Hole That's My Life

I'd love to integrate you into my life
But you clash so bad with the decor
I can't see you fitting inside my life
But every night I wind up outside your door
Clutching flowers, grabbing at dreams
Hope comes with sleep, sleep spins me off
I wake up feeling guilty for dreaming your touch
This hum-drum life, these boring friends
Compared to you, they can't compare
But right now I still feel your hand on my shoulder
And I can still remember how vivid I imagined
The words you whispered in my ear
Just wait, just wait
This is my life I'm asking me to change
I've gotta screw it up, force it to rearrange
I've gotta get you into my life
Any way I can (I think I can, I wish I can...)

It's Not Rebellion If It's All In Self-Defense

I know I should love you
But it's so hard to do through all the hate
The world isn't waiting, when all I need is a little time
But you're just another person taking it away from me
I have words that need to be spoken
And all of them you'll never hear
You never were the person who'd come
And scare away the fear
Do you really think I'll get up and dedicate my life to you?
You're just one more thing I'll revel in forgetting
I know I should love you
But it's hard when you're causing so much of the pain
Do you really believe I never try?
Do you really think I'm aiming for the dirt?
Is that why you try to hurt?
The last thing I need is another "no
You'll never make it there"
I think you should just let it and me be
I think if you don't you should beware

A Relapse Of Emotions

With that look on your face
Don't dare pretend you mean what you're saying
Are you kidding? everyone can tell you don't really mean it
But when you're playing with fire, hearts or lives
No one likes a liar

We're your best friends without exception
Bucking rightful shackles and convention
So what's a little armed robbery among friends
And friendly enemies? I'll tell you
Raise your hands like it's Woodstock all over again
And sing like a canary, and choke on the words in your throat
I'm gonna shoot you, I'm aiming to kill
I'm sorry, baby, but best friends and friendly enemies
Are just in the way of the beat

Raise your hands, so we can shoot you
Every lie, punctured by bullets
Don't play tough if you can't even play
Messing with the people who know no fear just breaks teeth
Honestly, we didn't want to hurt anyone
But we're missing our collective conscience
Us pretty boys who don't want to mean it
It's all a game you shouldn't have lied to play

But now you're lying, in the snow
This never was meant to end
Just accept your fate without drama or tension
This is a routine procedure
We're gonna shoot you

Giving Up On Yourself Is Just Swearing Off Lottery Tickets

My music keeps telling me
I only sing like I'm desperate
But my life keeps whispering in my other ear
He's desperate indeed, desperate for her
To ward off the reality I start singing just five minutes too soon
Throwing last-chance lyrics into the crowding room

I take the tears that fall
And I hide them away, so they're never there at all
They don't leave anything but a slight stain
Only noticed by you
My one, true, only all-time blue

Walking through my empty empty house
I notice it's raining, and decide to chase away the outdoors
Barging down the sidewalk
Slipping on the grass
I have to laugh over the pain
Every time I get a wet butt, after the lawn takes me down

Born under a ceiling sky
I'll make sure life gets a kiss to remember out of this guy
Maybe I'll make it fall in love with me
Before I just give up and die
Being older is the same, I know that now
The only difference if that you're the one who wings it
Not the one who doesn't know and feels secure

I trace my life on you as you sleep
Waiting for the fall to fall away, and winter to fall sick with fever and die
And summer will let us run away
No more looking through windows, and watching while you sleep
We'll trade sleepy eyes for awake ones all around

To The Love (or) To The Pain

One of the most momentous things a person ever does is admit to another person that he or she loves the person. But here's the thing; the person usually doesn't know what the heck they're talking about. They know how the feeling of infatuation works, but they don't know squat about love.

In the famous novel The Princess Bride, a key character is obsessed with pain. He believes that it is the focal point of life. And I think there's something to that viewpoint. Although, in a slightly different manner than the Count suggested.

Love is about pain. Love is not about giving gifts and writting sappy poetry and such. It's about pain. About taking the pain that's going to hit your lover. You take off your coat in cold weather, simply so she can have another layer on. You freeze completely, but she stays nice and warm. There's some pain there, especially as your extremeities thaw. Love is also about holding her hands to warm them up. Love is intercepting all the vitriol that others may spit, and hiding it all. Love is taking not one, not two, not three or four or five bullets, but all the bullets that could ever made in the world. Love is about being a human shield for every kind of pain that you block from your lover. Love is all about pain.

Think about it. The greatest expressions of love are not things such as Valentine's Day activities, or jewelry. The greatest expressions of love all have to do with pain. Not meaninglessly hurting yourself; that doesn't show loving suffering, only foolishness and lack of self respect. No, love is about being a sponge, and soaking up all the pain you can from your lover's life. You probably cannot take it all away; but you can try. If you want to show someone you love them and care about them, share yourself. Share their pain, and if you can, take it away from them. Be a comfort, a sense of security. Be willing to stand a lonely guard, and stay on watch for bumps and puddles in the road. Smooth the bumps down with your hands, and lie down in the puddles to soak them up. Be a bridge over every ravine you can stretch across. This is what you must do if you want to show true love. Warm her hands, do every kindness you can think of. Suffer for your love, not meaninglessly, but with strength and purpose. This is a greater, more tender symbol of love than even the most beautiful ring, or the most elaborate evening out. Nothing can compare to placing yourself in the path of the flames, and protecting your love from the heat and fire. While these poetic metaphors may be hard to understand, I am trying my best to say something simple. If you strive to the true love, you strive to the true, good pain.

A Little Bit Darker Now...(But It's Probably Just The Music)

You're the only heart I haven't broken on this side of town
And my life is just the same old story; sucking all around
I'm pretty bad with touchy feely, but with words, I'm so much worse
Your boyfriend drove to the prom in a limo
I carried you away in a hearse

One night to live down the rumors
One chance to cancel all the secrets
One night to prove I am who I am to everyone who cares
All I can do is fix my mental image of myself
And the world won't bend; it breaks
And it doesn't stay away; it flies with me

Sleep, dream, wake, weep
We go about our days with broken faces
And we'll never know the color of the sky
Or the colors inherent in an apple, a tree, a goodbye
If you cry for me, because I'm a fool
I'll pray for you, because I'll always be a fool
Thinking that I think, believing I believe
I pull life tight, but it always snaps back to sting me

On Valentine's Day And Some Other Things

Well, this year's V-Day has come and gone. And yet again, it's left a strange aftertaste in it's wake. Like eating chocolate right after brushing your teeth. For some people, Valentine's Day is about chocolate. Having it given to you, and eating it. For those people, V-Day is great. For others, V-Day is about arguing with your lover over what to wear and if you'll make the reservation, and who's fault it will be if you don't, and etc. For some lucky couples, it's about a perfect day together. And for many people, it's about being alone. The whole mystique that has sprung up around it makes it something it's not. Valentine's Day is not the day when every one's romances go right. Or even go. For many, it just shows them what they don't have. They don't have someone who will take off their coat in frigid air and let them wear it. They don't have someone who will pay for lunch without being asked. They don't have someone to sit next to, someone who will warm their hands underneath the table. A person who will do all the driving, a person who cares enough to pick each flower individually. Someone who is willing to slow dance to whatever music his or her love likes, be it classical, rap, punk, alternative, pop or anything else. They don't have someone. However, Valentine's Day need not be miserable. You can go eat lunch with a friend, to celebrate being "single and loving it". Those can lead pretty quickly to something no one was expecting. <;) But really, Valentine's Day isn't what most people think it is. It isn't about being a lovestruck fool for a day. Or a lonely possible-lover forever. It's about becoming a lovestruck fool. It's about changing your mood, and making every day sunny. It's about becoming a lovestruck fool, and simply maintaining it if you already are one. It's not about the chocolate, or the fancy dinners, or making out with your girlfriend. It's about the love. The LOVE. The L-O-V-E! It's about falling in love all over again, and doing it every moment of every day. It's about making it past the commercialization, and just feeling the... Well, you know what it's about. <;)

Blue-Blood Blues

A quiet room, a quiet time
Soft music playing, drinks all around and couples on the floor
When you came up and sat next to me
The quiet words you spoke seemed to fit right in
Then I listened as you said them a second time
And they hit me like a rock-filled slipper

Smooth, and maybe sensual
But oh so very comfortable
Still, it packs a punch
And you didn't pull it when it came to me
I wasn't wounded; it was too nice an evening for that
I was more just a little hurt

When I woke up home alone, by myself
With a headache and no one beside me
I comprehended what you had said
"You used to be a good rich boy
But now you've went and gone to your head"

I can ask you to come back to me
But that'd just be asking you to leave again
The muffled music playing downstairs reminds me
I'm a bachelor, I'm well off
There are other fish in the sea
I'll catch one that'll look good swimming in the tank next to me
But still...
The way your hair fell in the light
And the way you did nothing, but made everything feel right

When you have as much as I do
Sometimes it's hard to tell what you've lost
Or what you ever had
You showed me Autumn
You showed me Summer and Spring
You took me away and kissed me with cold Winter
Girl, until you take up lying again
You don't realize how much you can miss the truth

I miss you, and that's finally the truth...

Changing Seasons And Changing Looks

I'm the most successful failure
That parents ever took their children to see
What would I do
If I saw myself on video, waking up next to you?
We all try to make it through
With hearts, mind and morals intact
But breaking is so much fun (we're attracted to the dark)
Don't say there isn't a tempter
He lives inside us all
Like a virus, invading and changing
Whenever he gets a chance

Don't cry
Never cry for your best ex-friend
Wow, that's one heck of a sunset
Dancing through the city of sin....
You + me = turning it all upside down
And my heart is laughing at the notion of breaking apart
And my mind is already sewing itself back together
Guilt is a funny thing
It tastes so bad, but it's so good
I'm dedicating this poem to each and every one of us people
Trying to do the right thing
But it only gets harder from here on out
'Cause I'd be lying if I told you we've left the dark behind
It waits in the gutters and ditches
Of this straight and narrow road

The only thing I have done is being what I shouldn't
All hearts beat for pumping God's blood
All minds speak for the love of light
And all us sinners let the good/bad times roll
Because sometimes the bad feels like good
And vice versa
You & me & the rest of them all
Let's make some memories, short term or not
Forgetting is what we hate, like it or not....

Still Living, Not Dying

Dusty breeze whips my face
Knocks me over, gets me out of place
The sun is cold but the air is hot
Can't it all go away? the future is bleak
For an old worn out man
A former musician, now a freak
With glory days and golden youth
All passed by, without even staying behind
To love one more time. just gone like that
The wind picks up, takes off with my hat

A joke. that's all I am
Running willy nilly
Chasing after dust memories
Record labels, rock 'n' roll
All gone from me now
I can't even make it a little bit
Even though I try 'n' try 'n' try
Visions and dreams of yesterday's hopes
Is all I can accomplish

Is there any hope for me?
A trodden on bit of glory
That I could scrounge up somehow?
The mist rolling in from the sea
Blends with the dust in the air
Dirty's the pavement
And clings to my hair
I can't retire from life
I still have a lot left in me
But making it after falling down seems too hard
Who do they think they are?
I'm just like them, only better

I'd Pay For A Movie Star Who Knows What The Word Bibliophile Means (Poor Kids Play Kick The Car)

Find a safe place
Shiver when the earth shakes
I'll tell your family you'll never return
I'm fairly sure you'll be missed

You've doused yourself in our mood
Dyed red, always untrue
This life is the cure to growing older
Because you'll just live as a curio in a tourist-shop
Window

Practice your lines
And try to stop your voice cracking
With the emotion you have no right to feel
A poet broke his heart and his pen writing those words
He felt so tragic....
And you, you highly paid actor
You've been brought in to make them live

You vampire
I put all my life into those lines
And with your rendition
You suck out the life, and lock them in a casket
I know I'm crazy, I broke everything I had
With that masterpiece. You give it your own flavor
The taste of failure

Hide while the earth is shaking
Hide from your gaping coffin
With our friends, angels and ancestors
We want to bury you so badly
How can we make you comprehend?
You turned this poor boy's life
Into a second-rate B-movie

Living this life, you just know sooner or later
You'll catch it (and isn't that tragic)

Write Me Off, Because All I Have Is A Headache And Absence Of Writer's Block

I have a crazy headache
Left over from when I woke up next to you
(Did I really wake up next to you?!?)
Maybe I woke up an hour too soon
I can't stand being alone
And thinking no one else knows I exist
But back to the headache
Headache, hot shakes, and a honeymoon
And I swear, to keep you safe...

Nothing is as it seems
Just shadows in my dreams
Except for headaches, those are real
Besides hugs and kisses, those are all I feel
Lemme hear another melodic sigh
Perhaps maybe you could give me a tuneful cry
It's not right to get so much pleasure out of disaster
But I never wanted you to change for me
And I ask you to return the favor
(But every time the day changes into night
I can still recall that flavor...)

These lights, in houses, apartments, bedrooms...
The effect they have on me...
Excuse me, I have to catch my tears as they fall
And hide them where no one can see
Because I'm prideful, and weak
Sometimes a poet, always a freak
Actually, that's a lie
I don't think of myself as a freak
Just someone trying his best to ignore who
The world suggests he is

Looking out my bedroom window
All alone, except for my headache
And a shade of you on my wall
Angels cry in the reflection of my eyes
In the medium of the mirror
Why do you all stay away from me?
Why are there lights on outside
But none turned on inside of me
Pencil scratches on paper, late into the night
Because the lights of the city are too much
For my headache and me...

Dust

Try to get a feel for the rhythm
Of living life on your own
My arms are so full of nothing
There's nothing I can possibly hold

Everyone lives until they die
Everyone can laugh, or they can cry
Well, tears can be nice
But I'll cast my vote with laughter
Because I'm too busy to go chasing after
All the things I can't have

How stupid could I be
To make you the only one I see
The world is full of everything imaginable
Or at least it should be
While I believe my fantasies
Everything else is just dust and fairies

(Chasing after dust and fairies....)

From The Storm

I can hear the groans of the Earth
Feel the wind and water on my face
The wet grass grabbing my bare feet
The sky is turning grey with clouds
And I can feel my wanting
Like I've never felt it before
I begin to walk down the hill
Watch the city grow nearer
It seeks wilderness to kill
Everything I'm wanting of
Feels like I've never needed it before
The sour wind blows gusts into my face
Pushes me back up the hill
I have nowhere to retreat to
When the world is all around
and only the wind is at my back

I can feel tears wrenching their way away
Walking along the roof of the world
The rain freezes on the trees; the grass; my skin
My hair, my clothes. Something
Tells me loudly, that this was a mistake
Mother Nature is someone else's mother
And she is wounded and angry
And we will bear the brunt of her anger

The wind loses me in the trees
But they trip me up, bloody my knees
I find my way out, back to the city
And make my way back to my home
The storm makes her way to the tall buildings and low houses
This night shall be a long one, looking at the green sky...

Dream Girl

She's a dream girl
My dream girl
But only in my dreams
She visits me each night
(but only in my dreams)
Last night she spoke to me

And we talked and talked and talked

But it was all a dream

How can a dream have so much meaning?
How can a dream have this effect?
Why can I still feel her touch
Upon my arm? her hot breath upon my neck?
How can dreams mean so much?
Can dreams pull you in and never let go?
I look out my window, and watch the falling snow
And reflected in the cold window panes
Is the memory of her touch on one shoulder
And the weight of her head on the other
How can a dream affect me so deeply?
How can a dream have this effect?
(I know that's it's nothing but a dream
And yet.....and yet....I can't stop dreaming
Not now, not yet
Not until I've drank my fill
Of that otherworldly love, and I will)

Poet Musing

It's all just a stranger passing in the night
It's all just something grey, not black or white
People love and people live
People hate their luck
When they're told it's their life they'll have to give
Hopefully, the years will bless me
And I'll make it through it all
Living like life is the only way to be
Or free
Can't we just let go of what we hold onto?

And be free

Why do you cry every night?
Why are you not happy?
I'd give up a life that'd bring me joy
If only, if only
You said it'd please you
Happiness is a loaded gun
Hot and heavy in your hand
And knowing that there's no one
In all the world, in all the land
That can make you pull the trigger

I'll not pull this trigger

The Goodbyes Can't Come Late Enough

Every summer we make a wish
And every night we try to sleep
But it's so hard to do when you know no one's thinking of you
And trying is so hard when your heart's come through a car crash
And you can't tell if it's still beating

By far you're the greatest story
That I've ever read
And I'd like you to proof read my life
Edit it all, and take all my problems away....

The only thing that I think of regularly
Is you
Every hour, my lady I swear, I think of you
Not sleeping at night is a horrible thing
But when you invade my dreams before I begin sleeping...

Let's go, let's try, let's flip the world upsidedown
We can be the cover story for the next hundred years
With both of us together, no wall can stand
All I want (for now) is to hold your hand

Keep trying, keep trying to sleep
Dream of me while I'm thinking of you
Long live the people like us
Who think simply for the feeling
And think that all there is besides us
Is the rest of the world

Yet Another Sentimental Poem...

I'd cry to move you
But I'd be a fake
I'd sing your praises
But with my voice, that'd be a mistake
I'd choke on the words I want to say
It's just too bad "love" affects me this way

I hear music from another room
Piano dropping tears of ice
A woman singing, softly softly
And she begins to sob
Crying out the words
I so want to say
Pleading with the sound
Why must we always fear?
She awaits someone to come and save her
Just as I await someone to come for me

Cry, sweet child, cry
And I'll cry with you
We can cry together as we walk through the woods
Water the flowers as we walk
Visit a sunny graveyard where little birds sing
Cry as we work
Burying our fears
Cry for the long, wasted years
Cry for ourselves, for our tears
Smile and sob, laugh and choke
Holding each other tight as our world goes up in smoke

Everyone Understands (They Just Understand The Wrong Things) When We Say "I Love You"

I don't know what to say
And I don't know what to do
Dreaming through mist
And it's all blue
I need you
I love you
I need you
'Cause I'm scared
It's a dark angry world out there
And love is a flame, a match lit in the dark
I want you
Desire you
I want to talk to you, late into the night
I want to cry when you cry, make it all right
But are you real?
Am I real?
How can I reconcile my feelings
With what I should be
I'd love you, I'd keep you
In a golden cage, I'd let you free
Every time you asked
I smile when I see your face
Thoughts of you, are what erase my nights
Love is dark
Brooding like a storm
And I want to find my own world
And take you in it, take you inside me
I'll say I.L.Y.
If not, I may die
That's a lie
You can live without love
It just isn't anything you'd wish on anyone
Even the devil
I hope I don't choke
When I call you on the phone
I hope I don't sob
When I see you in that dress
I hope I don't break
I hope the bottom of our boat doesn't fall out
And we both drown in the lake
(I keep thinking of you, keep keeping you inside of me)

I Wrote This With Truth In My Mind And You In My Heart

Let me talk to someone wise
Because this torrent of experiences called "life"
Isn't making any sense
And I can't get out of this
'Cause I don't know if it even counts as a mess
I'll try a littler harder
To win the game of life and her heart
Everyone gather round
And listen close to what I have to say
I'm not perfect
Far from it, actually
Sometimes when the lights are out
And I'm lying in bed
All my body feels like is a twisted knot of faults
And my mind can feel the same way, too
Please pay attention, cause this is hard to say
I love you, and I feel this way
Like life is so long
And the road is so far
I'm not sure where I am; I just plot it by where you are
I'm gonna take my best shot
And pray to God I come close
Because of all the lies and all the stories
All the songs and all the loves
You're the one I like the best

The Man And The Genie

Once there was a man traveling through the desert. He had been traveling for many days and many nights, without meeting any other travelers. One day, as he was traveling, he discovered that he was running out of water. He began looking for a well, but he could not find one. Being thirsty and tired from the heat, he decided to rest in a cave that was situated halfway up a rock formation near the road. He scrambled up the rock, leaving his camel outside.

Within the cave it was cool, with a strange scent that the man seemed to remember. Suddenly, he spotted a bowl with incense burning in it. He cautiously looked about, and called out, "Hello? Is there anyone here?" It was a small cave, and he could see that no one was in it. The smell of incense began to grow stronger, and he noticed the incense swirling around in the bowl. As he was watching it, a man appeared before him. There was no flash of light, nor was the appearance dramatic. The man was simply there.

"Who- who are you, sir? I am merely a tired traveler, looking for a place to rest. I saw the cave, and not realizing it was yours, came inside it. I hope I did not intrude upon you." The man stood regarding the traveler, and then replied, "I am a genii. I will give you gifts, if you give me something in return." The man realized that the man must be one of the genies of legend, and that to refuse would be losing a great opportunity. "Sir, I will take one of your gifts, if I can give you something worth it in return."

The genii looked at him with a blank look, and then asked him, "I see you have a woman you desire. Her skin is dark, and her hair is curly. She has dusky eyes, and does not wish to marry you. Neither does her father wish marriage between you two. Would you like them to become accustomed to the idea, even wanting it?" "Sir, can you- can you give love? True love?" The genii replied, "I can." "Then do it, please do it sir!" the man cried. "I will require a price; your finger." "What? My finger? What do you mean?" the man implored. "Lay your hand upon that stone. Then extend your fingers to their fullest extent, and I will cut off your left little finger with this knife." "My- my finger? This is your price? My little finger for my love?" "Yes." The traveler looked at his hand, focused on his finger. He moved it, bending and unbending. Watching it move smoothly, its excellent engineering. He looked at it a moment longer, then replied, "Yes. For love, this is nothing."

The genii led the man over to a rock, and told him to lay his hand upon it. The man placed his hand on the cool stone, felt it smooth underneath his fingers. He trembled, and tried to stop his hand from shaking. Then the genii, with a swift cut, chopped of the man's finger. The man clutched at his hand in pain, and held it moaning. The genii gave him herbs to stop the bleeding, and then the man looked at his hand. He watched the glistening stump of his finger, absorbing the new absence. Then the genii spoke. "Would you give another finger for your love's health? Her long life, free from sickness?" The man thought, pondered. Then he said, "What is pain for me, if I'm doing it for her? I will do it. A man can be successful without two fingers." The ceremony was repeated, then the genii spoke. "A drought will take the life of all those in your village. Another finger, and the wells shall not go dry." The man thought. Was he, who had already sacrificed two of his fingers, to give a third for his village? He decided yes, he shall. For who could turn down the chance to save his home at such a comparatively small cost? "Yes. I shall save the village from drought."

Again and again, the genii offered the man chances to forestall various disasters, until the health of the village was assured for hundreds of years to come. The man was curling up in pain, now only having the fingers of his right hand left. The genies price had started to take on a greater significance. One finger for each disaster, and two toes for the same. When then man had quieted down, the genii spoke again. "Your family will be large. You shall have handsome, strong sons, prides of the father. Beautiful daughters, prides of the mother. And when you are not yet an old man, an enemy militia shall come and kill you all. You shall watch your children and wife die, and then your life shall be taken. I can ensure that the militia will bypass your town....But it will cost all of the fingers on your right hand." The man, confused with pain, considered this. "Genii, what choice do you give me? Death for me and my family, or being almost a cripple!" the man cried "How can I make this choice?" The genii replied, "How can you not make this choice?"

The man considered it, then made his decision. His hand trembled, violently shaking as he laid his hand on the stone, now slick with blood. Though the day was hot, the man felt chilled and cold. When the cuts came, five quickly in a row, the man yelled aloud. His pain was audible, but the genii looked on impassively. After the man was sitting, crouched against the side of the cave, the genii said, "Your sacrifices are impressive. But so far they have been only for your village and family. What would you do for everyone? All people under Heaven's dome? Would you guarantee that someday, all diseases will be vanquished? No one shall ever be sick again? No mother shall have to watch her child sicken and die in front of her own eyes. No more death due to sicknesses. Would you do that for all people of the world, people you shall never meet, nor know?" The man sat silent, then replied, "What is your price?" "Your left eye." the genii replied. "How can you ask me this? I've already given up so much, and now you ask even more of me? How can you do this?" the man asked. The genii watched him, waiting for a reply. Finally, after sitting in silence for many minutes, the man said, "I shall give up my eye. I should take this chance, for it may be one that no one else will have." "Then, I shall remove your eye," the genii replied.

By now, with all of his fingers and toes removed, and now one of his eyes, the man could barely keep from writhing in pain. When the genii opened his mouth again, the man swiftly interrupted the genii. "Genii, I cannot take anymore. I have gone through so much pain, that I should be dead. I am maimed. When, and if, I make it back to my village, my love will love a cripple. Do not ask anymore of me. You have done good things, but I cannot take the price anymore." "But what would you give," the genii asked, "to eventually end all wars and conflict? No more fighting among any tribes, no more fighting among nations and creeds." "That would be a good thing, genii," the man replied, "But I will not agree. I cannot give in to this offer. I can only imagine your price. My leg? My arm?" "Your other eye," the genii said. "Your other eye, and all wars shall someday end." The man began to weep. "This- this makes no sense! All these horrors of our world, and it my chance to stop them! But, I cannot! All of this worldly suffering can be stopped through my own! But, I cannot! This- this is not right, that I should be asked this..." "What is your choice then," the genii said, "Keep your sight and leave the world full of war? Or lose your eye, and bring peace?"

The man gave his answer.

He lay on the floor of the cave, slumping in pain. Panting, panting, hoping the pain would end. The genii began to speak, when the man cried, "Foul genii! Do not speak anymore! I do not wish to hear your voice! It grates on my ears, offering offers I cannot ignore, but which will only cause me pain! Nothing more, I implore you! Be silent! Leave me be!" Then the genii leaned in close to the man, and whispered, "I can do this. Give me your memory, erase your past, and art shall grow in the world. No more madness, except for the glorious kind which is felt by the poets as they weave their tales. Would you give this to the world, in exchange for your past?" "YES!" the man cried, "Yes! Do this, damned genii, and erase my past! Make me forget everything, so the pain shall be erased also!" The genii waved his hand, and the man could suddenly not remember anything. Except the pain. Waves of pain would come, and be forgotten as they appeared. The man could not help screaming. He was in agony, left experiencing nothing but pain.

Then the genii said in a loud voice to him, "You have done much. And as a reward for your services, I will give your back your fingers and toes. They shall be there, stiff and painful, but you shall have them. I will give you back your sight, though it shall be blurry and like that of an old man's. I will give you back your past, but leave you with headaches. All this I will do, to honor your sacrifice for the good of the world, and people you shall never meet." "Thank you, genii," the man said. He then blacked out. When he awoke, he was in the arms of the women he loved.

Another "Lovey" Poem, Cause That's What Poetry's All About

You claim to enjoy being "just friends"
So I try to think of something funny to say
You claim to be my friend
But you're not, 'cause you'd have to be that much more or less
To be hurting me this way
You claim to like playing this game
You play for fun, while I play to win (your heart)
Best friends, and miles apart
Angst is real, and so is the rain
And wind, snow, love and other things I can't explain

Let's try this one more time
I'll say will you? you say I do.
We'll go down in history, 'cause it'll be true
But I'm just looking at this scene through cracked glasses
Broken lenses, a rainy day
It must be the cold church, the raindrops on the windows
And the graveyard outside that makes me feel this way
I pray to God for a storm
I pray for losing myself in thunder and lightning
I pray for summer, I pray for love
I wonder where you go when you dream, my love
Arrogance never healed broken hearts
But it's the easy way out

If I don't hear some rock n'roll
I think I might go crazy
Real music is acoustic, electricity is just lazy
But guitars come in to save me
And being in a bad place just means that a better one is up ahead
I think this could work
I could make you happy
Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the only one
Just so you know, you're the song I know best
And thinking of you makes me forget the rest

For We Know…

The world spins with dirty fervor
And humans writhe in the mud
Blood is spilled, and wrath is poured
Sons hold guns up to the heads of their fathers
Daughters cry aloud with angry voices
Opposing their mothers, and the world that brought them up
Humanity spins with dirty lust
Abusing God's holy trust
The poets sob in quiet words
And whisper to themselves; how have we sunk so low?
While the rest of the people shout in loud exclamations
"We're the best, we'll kill the rest"
Always coming to blows

Ask us, the quiet children
Ask us, the ones who know
We hide in the corners, in the hallways and closets
We stay out of the spotlight, afraid to say
What we know; that the world spins on
And men sink low
Ask us, we'll tell, for we know, we know

You Make The Moves, I'll Aim The Spotlight

This is my written confession
And I can't get enough of you
But to continue; I'm always thinking of you
Day and night, sleeping or awake
I dedicate this chapter of my life to your memory
And hope you'll read it all
(In between the lines)
And outside them too

I writing my written confession,
But I need to get a little loose
Capitalization just limits my expression
And for the next stanza I'm borrowing e. e.'s punctuation

i; love; you
it's a summertime love, luv
and i cant get enough of you; i cant get enough of you:
i must have you
i must let you go
maybe it's just a fleeting-love
or just lust/infatuation
but i doubt it
when i see your face, hear your voice
and read your words
i get a second chance, straight from God
and ive been getting these 2nd chances
for a while now[you bring me back
to where i feel like i belong]
come on my pretty, powerful lady
let us dance, let us sing, let us act like buffoons
ive waited oh so long to be free from pain
and youre my paradise of novocain

It's good to get out
From under the rock of custom
But patterns are like a love affair
You can't let them go,
when the sunlight plays on her long smooth hair
And she tells you the way to go, and where
{I'm writing my written confession…}

Don't Forget, Or I Might Not Stop It

Maybe we'll all go down in history
And maybe we'll be the heroes that time forgot
And maybe this is all a lie
But don't blame me, this is who I am
And after all, however much a lie it is, you have to admit it looks nice
And after all, however big a liar you are
I can't help but admit you look nice

But if I am a lie
Maybe it isn't a good one
But I'm gonna say me again
And tell you me until you accept it all
Swallow me hook, line and sinker

But perhaps I can tell you
Maybe you're close enough
"I'm-"
I dunno, maybe you're not close enough
I can take you away
We can get in my car and drive away
And never see our families, this town or world again

I keep on trying
And somehow lying
I keep on trying
But I keep on falling behind
Some people say poetry is just a waste of words
Maybe they're right
And others say that seeing is just a waste of sight
And the pessimists can't always be right?
But I'm not looking forward to another lonely night
(The cold gets in through corners and cracks
Scalds poor boys with breaking backs)

So You Know, I'm The Best, Right?

If the world just got a little edgy
Maybe a little more hardcore
I can explain it; the guy over there just turned his amp up
And everybody's hitting the floor
We can try to stay out of the motion
Or jump right in, and which is the better choice?
Personally, I'm in favor of going home
But not alone, if you know what I mean (no, never alone)

Three days later and I keep kicking myself
'Cause I've forgotten how to be a friend
How to watch out for your best interests
But how was I to figure it out
I've made myself cut out for this speaker-pounding life
Give me three days and your heart
I'll make it all up to you
You can only scream into a microphone and shred on a guitar for a little while
Before the tears fall from your eyes for the life you're destorying
You say I'm a good listener
And I'm sure I could be if I took these headphones off

But we keep on trying, and we keep on dying
Widows and orphans keep on crying
But rock is just a synonym for breathing
And everyone deserves something
And I think I deserve you
Which is a shame 'cause you deserve everything but me
The best music always makes you feel worst
And yelling out the truth, you can't tell who it'll hurt
But everyone, every one person on their own
Deserves what they got coming to them
And I can't keep going crazy, cause the days just keep on flowing
I'm sure someday I'll confess it all, and I hope you'll be able to take the knowing

The Best Mistakes Are Only Fakes

It was never about being the best
It was just about laughing at myself and my mistakes
The goof-ups and outtakes
All the coincidences and lucky breaks
But they all joined in and turned the laughter sour
And I'm still making mistakes
But now I'm not even trying

Maybe this is just another mistake
But if the world keeps quiet, maybe he wouldn't find out
And I think it could, cause poets like me have lots of influence
Over the inscrutable workings of fate
But give twenty monkeys ten minutes
And they might get lucky and come up with sentiment
But I only try because I can't take laughing at myself anymore

I'm trying to say no
And trying to forget what the smell of failure tastes like
Oh, wishing for the same old story
Is just wishing for stagnation
And my best friends all say I'm great
Funny how I'm the one who makes mistakes
But again, I'm only trying 'cause I'm can't laugh at any more mistakes
And all we can strive for is trying

Say, Who's Reading This?

Well, who have we here? Who is reading this? I know I have a readership out there, but I just don't know who they are. If you read this, please introduce yourself! Leave a comment! Say Hello, My Name is etc! While hit counters can tell you people are listening, they can't tell you who the listeners are. I'd love to know who the people who've put the 300+ visits on my site, so, again, please introduce yourself! Well, that's all I really have to say right now. I'll look forward to writing more poetry and thoughts, and reading your comments.

Walter

Not The Last Poem, Just The Most Recent

It's seven o'clock and I'm thinking of you
Now eleven fourty-five and I'm still blue
Six A.M. and I'm getting rather restless
Nine twenty-three and I'm ready for bed and undressed
Twelve thirty-two and my hand is on the phone
'Cause I'm finding out how badly I deal with this so-called
"Being alone"

I claim to be a poet
And friends tell me, they know it
But poetry is more subtle than I thought
It's not a magic cureall
It doesn't show the way
Just where you've been
And where you are
But no one can say where you're going
This way, or that way?
The right way? or the wrong way?

I'm not sure, but I think the record of my life is skipping
And inside my reputation is all awry
I can't keep fighting an enemy that I can't see
Maybe it was never there at all………Baby, I'll fake I'm happy
To match everyone else around you
But this act is already getting old
And the world outside isn't snowy
But it's a sight too cold for me

I may have already said it
But you might not have understood
So I'll say it again
"This act is already getting old
And the world outside isn't snowy
But it's a sight too cold for me"
Looking at the sky
Alone with you, except for your lover boy
Who keeps hanging around beside me
I'll forget who I am eventually
And that'll be the best moment of my life
Until, of course, I realize what I've done
And just how much I've lost

I use words, nothing else
And I'm trying to make your heart swell and burst
Sting your eyes with tears
And when you realize how high in regard I hold you
I know you'll break down and cry
And if you haven't yet, then you haven't found out
But it's just a matter of time
Of seconds, minutes, hours, years
Before you finally take the ear buds out
And stop for a moment to really hear (what I've been saying all along)

Oh So Much

I'm oh so eager
To hear you tell me why boys like me
Are worth our weight in words
And I can't wait
To find out why someone like me
Isn't worth the surplus time that's yours
When you go to home, (where you no longer belong)
Can you call me and say you're happy with a straight face?
Cry my baby, cry
'Cause you'll never be able to tell how much I care
(Hint hint; I'm a liar)
Summon up your inner demons
And tell me where it hurts
I'll do my best, you do the rest
And maybe you won't come out in last
I have to laugh when I see you cry
Though it breaks my heart inside
Because you never admitted you had time for me
So I'll never admit I only leave time for you
We both love each other oh so much
But being shy like how we are (both of us won't accept it)
We act as if we hate it
Trying is hard when you try to look like you're not
And pushing closer to you is harder when
The world will kill me unless I pull away
No one hates the fact that I love you
Half as much as I hate it myself

It's Seven O'Clock...

It's seven o'clock and my heart is half-breaking
And I can't stop my limbs from shaking
I've got the words, and I've got the style
What I haven't got is the chance to live your life for a while
When I'm around, please
Restrain the love you feel for him
I love you too, and it feels like a sin
But how can I stand here with my half-broken heart
And not feel the pain when you shake me completely apart?

It was warm in the basement
And you're hot and on fire
(Well, you're always hot, but we're talking heat now, not desire)
So you take a nice long walk outside
Without a coat, so you can reflect on what happened inside
But the heat fades away
And the wind turns cold
You find yourself chilling
Outside my house, our old
Hangout, happy place, where nothing went wrong
Until that September day when you left me for a song
I see you outside, freezing to ice
My good side asks you in, my bad side says, "does it feel nice?"

We can't be ourselves when we don't know who we are
Life is a journey, and my tired feet say it's too far
But I'll keep on walking on
And nothing'll stop me now
But the memory of what I felt for you pulls on me
Trying to pull me back
And how!
How can I talk to you with a half-breaking heart
When the love in your eyes when you look at him tears me apart?

Would You Like To Hear My World?

Maybe, say
"Have it your way"
And I'll run off with everything that isn't nailed down
Sentimentality is a word I misspell
You're so pretty, it's like the sound of a bell
If I start to ramble, that's just who I am
And how fast I'm slipping
Oh, I feel obligated to make you mine
But the part of me who says everything quiet
Hopes that it's only some passing aroma of wine
Drifting through the banks of my memory
Oh, this life of mine
I need to share it with someone
'Cause, you must understand, I have everything in mind
Literally everything
You ask what that means? I'll tell you
I'll tell you when we're alone
And the sun is shining, birds are singing
And I'll take the key to my mind
From behind your ear
I'll tell you everything you need to know
I'll let you in on everything
Everything in my world
In all the worlds in my mind